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August 31, 2013
DEPARTMENT OF THINGS ONLY GUYS THINK OF
‘I love fire and wheelchairs so I thought why not put them together?’
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
IF THAT CASE, HE IS FREE TO GO
Guess the state.
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
August 30, 2013
WHEN YOU'VE LOST THE FOAM-FINGER INVENTOR, YOU'VE LOST THE NATION
Foam Finger Inventor Says Miley Cyrus 'Degraded an Honorable Icon'
(Thanks to Roberto)
ROCK BOTTOM REMAINDERS AND BRUCE, 1992
WE MIGHT USE A WORD OTHER THAN 'BEHIND'
Fit for a Royal Behind – Hanebisho, the World’s Most Expensive Toilet Paper That Costs $17 a Roll
(Thanks to Heather Lubay)
THINGS CALMED DOWN AFTER THE ALIENS VAPORIZED THEM
THEY LET HIM IN THE KITCHEN?
Ozzy Osbourne starts house fire making bacon sandwich
(Thanks to Chuck Cody)
YA THINK?
A box containing the head and two human hands covered in blood also had the message: "Kavuludi, you are next". The police say they are interpreting it as a death threat.
(Thanks to Chuck Cody)
WE SAW TRESPASSING BEAVER OPEN FOR THE OVERLY DRUGGED COWS
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?
Japan Invents In-Car Rice Cooker
(Thanks to Ron G.)
MULTI-TASKER OF THE WEEK SO FAR
Mum busted for breastfeeding on moped
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
BRING THE COFFIN LID TO ITS FULL UPRIGHT AND LOCKED POSITION
MAYBE HE WAS JUST HAPPY TO SEE THEM
Man’s attempt to smuggle fish thwarted after officials spot his wet trousers
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Phil McAvity)
YES, DEAR
Research shows couples can tune out spouse's voice
(Thanks to The Perts)
THEY'RE GOING TO LICK THEM TO DEATH
Florida to call on Labrador retrievers to stem Giant Snail invasion
(Thanks to Ralph, Jon Harris and Rick Day)
IN THIS SITUATION, HE'S SUPPOSED TO USE HIS TASER
Maury County Sheriff's Chief Deputy Nathan Johns said Lt. Andy Jackson, head of the department's Central Investigations Division, was reprimanded after he admitted to firing his handgun into the air to ward off a turkey he discovered defecating on the hood of his patrol car outside the department's detective division at 7:30 a.m. July 29, The (Columbia, Tenn.) Daily Herald reported Thursday.
(Thanks to Ralph)
WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE SOUR CREAM
MOO, DUDE
Idaho farm to stop selling overly drugged cows
(Thanks to Craig Roberts)
We saw them open for the Partridge Family.
INSPIRING
THE NFL IS FOR PANSIES
August 29, 2013
MEANWHILE IN SPACE
Trojan Asteroid Found Orbiting Uranus
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
SOMETIMES WE THINK THE JAPANESE DO THESE THINGS JUST TO MESS WITH WESTERN JOURNALISTS
TERRORISM UPDATE
Squirrel interrupts U.S. Open match
(Thanks to oneblankspace)
POKER PROFESSIONAL OF THE WEEK
Unfortunately our strict policy etc.
(Thanks to Jon Harris)
SITTING ON A GOLD MINE
Woman hospitalized to remove stolen $5,000 from rectum
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
WE'LL JUST HAVE A BEER, THANKS
Colcord, Oklahoma, residents told to watch out for blood worms in water supply
(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown and Jay Brandes)
SOUTH CAROLINA: STATE OF ROMANCE
Couple Arrested For Shacking Up At Home Depot
In a display shed.
(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, Jeffrey Brown, Allen at Division, Jon Johnson and Greg Snow, who says: "You can do it. We can help.")
CANDYGRAM
New species of 'walking' shark discovered
(Thanks to Ron G.)
(For those whippersnappers who don't get the reference: link.)
I FOUGHT THE LAW, AND I ALSO *WAS* THE LAW
Rival campers who opened fire turn out to be sheriff's deputies
(Thanks to Jay Brandes)
CSI: NEW ZEALAND
Man in cow onesie spotted stealing steak
(Thanks to Allen at Division)
IF THEY WERE REALLY SMART, THEY'D STOP TASTING SO GOOD
Vegan scientists: pigs smart as dogs
(Thanks to Alberto Mengoni, who says "Then we can feel relieved that we reduce them to salami.")
CATCH, DUDE!
Man shoots arrow wrapped with marijuana at Whatcom County Jail
(Thanks to Edward Wurtz, Warren Anderson, Scott, Allen at Division and J.R. Absher)
Whatcom County?
THEIR BRAINS ARE OCCUPIED, WHAT WITH RUNNING THE COUNTRY AND ALL
Drivers in Washington, D.C., crash more than anyone, Allstate says
(Thanks to Ron G. and wiredog)
THAT WOULD EXPLAIN FLORIDA
Earth life 'may have come from Mars'
(Thanks to Joe in Japan)
WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR HIM
Texas turns to Ted Nugent to control feral pig epidemic
(Thanks to funny man)
AND THE SO-CALLED 'UNITED NATIONS' DOES NOTHING
Now they want to charge you to be in the big Spanish tomato fight.
(Thanks to funny man)
JUST WHEN YOU THINK FLORIDA HAS NO MORE CONTRIBUTIONS TO MAKE TO SOCIETY....
(Thanks to Richard Hicks)
NO MORE PENCILS, NO MORE BOOKS
WHY WE STILL NEED NEWSPAPERS
Police respond to 911 call about 'giant spider'
Key Excerpt: The officer reported finding the spider, measuring about 2 inches in diameter, and disposing of it with a rolled-up newspaper.
(Thanks to Ralph, who says: "Charlotte?")
THIS BLOG HAS ABSOLUTELY NO COMMENT
Chinese shopping malls installing women-only car parks (and yes… they have larger spaces)
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING WHERE REALITY-TV VIEWERS COME FROM
Scientists grow 'mini human brains' from stem cells
(Thanks to Jay Brandes and Suzie Q. Wacvet and Jon Harris)
August 28, 2013
SOCCER:
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says "at least somebody scored.")
NAME THAT STATE!
This woman failed the ultimate field sobriety test when she tried to steal deputy's patrol vehicle.
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
GOSPEL RECORDINGS IN THE NEWS
Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from bringing you this week's edition of Gospel Recordings in the News.
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE COWSILLS
IN THAT CASE, WE'RE ON OUR WAY!
Phuket's Brownout in Patong Bay 'Unlikely to Be Human Waste'
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
THIS HAPPENS TO US A LOT
SEATTLE DINING NOTE
Woman arrested after restaurant guests covered in soy sauce
(Thanks to Ralph)
YOU NEED A REASON?
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker, who says "He will make an excellent litigator."