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April 01, 2013


"Dear homeowners,” the letter reads. "Before Easter comes, the community asks that you do not demoralize our subdivision and street with yet again, your very tacky decorations. Halloween and Christmas was enough. Perhaps you should consider that this area is a step above you.”

(Thanks to The Perts)


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I'll bet the make inflatable Easter bunnies the size of the Sta-Puff Marshmallow man in Ghostbusters.

Dear, um, whoever wrote: know how I can tell that this neighborhood ain't "a step above" me? Cause you ain't got the nads to sign your letter and establish a dialog.

Not far from our house, there's a family that always has a giant inflatable something or other. OK, fine. This weekend, they were rocking a huge yellow duck. My question, how did ducks -- in all forms, including peeps -- come to be associated with Easter? I suppose the answer is on the Internet, but that seems like cheating.

This is the exact plot of the "Redneck Christmas" episode of ROSEANNE.

Good for them.

More than likely everyone on the block knows who wrote it and everyone stays off his lawn. I know where the May Pole is going to be planted.

I looked it up. The episode was called "White Trash Christmas" in season 6.

Loudmouth, I'd go with the bag of flaming dog poo.

well, i always thought easter was about the resurrection of jesus and stuff. i have no idea where the bunnies and painted eggs and all that come from, yeah, yeah, spring. ok. but nothing really to do with the resurrection.
i have the same rant for christmas. its all so secular now, even i could participate. well, no. its still passover. what happened to the real easter holyday??
not trying to be holier than anyone, but it saddens me to see this kind of desecration of a real holy holiday. oh dear. sorry. but i like the idea of a holy kind of holiday. and if you think about it, easter=resurrection is the whole point of christianity. if that isnt your thing, then i guess easter means something else to you alls.

If I got one of those notes I would be out buying every neon pink plastic flamingo I could find and putting them out year-round until an apology was issued. A man can only take so much.

Every neighborhood seems to have one of those houses.
Down the road from my wife's farm in Kentucky is a house with a 10-foot satellite dish in the front yard facing the road. It hasn't worked in probably 20 years but is still there because it serves as a giant palette for the owner's holiday decoration excesses.
You come around a curve to face a ten-foot wide Santa staring you down.

This happened in Nova Scotia.
Must have something to do with the "Boredom and the chowder"

I suggest that all the subdivision neighbors put up equally tacky decorations in support. They can gather on the lawn of the then-readily identifiable "classy" house, with colorful flaming torches and tasteful pitchforks.
I'm not big on tacky decorations, but I'm even less enthusiastic about folks who look down their noses and suggest that others aren't worthy to breathe the same air as their exalted selves.

Steve, every neighborhood with a home owners association has these clowns lining up to be in charge. Around here it's usually some stick-up-you-know-where petty government bureaucrat whose fantasy fiefdom at work isn't big enough.

(((queensbee))) My thoughts exactly. Thank you for expressing this so well.

Betsy, are you a Tasteful Pitchforks fan, too? Saw 'em open for Ted Nugent.

Actually, people do have the right to tell you stupid things.

Nonetheless, very well handled, indeed.

Has the "traditional" Freedonian Polka-Mariachi Easter band yet arrived?

NC, Queensbee, it supposedly has to do with eggs being
symbols of the coming birth (rebirth, resurrection)of
a chicken (or J.C.). Supposedly, but I think it was an evil marketing plan combined with TV "brainwashing"
created by J.P. Morgan for his retailer friends.

That's my guess and I'm stickin' to it.

thanks cindy ... eggs, fine. gigantic bunnies, not so much. besides, lemme axe you guys this: you have jesus as your savior. i should think HE would be good enough.
whyfor you need giant bunnies and painted eggs to begin with?
there aare some stupid jewish traditions, but none of them involves giant (or otherwise) mythical critters like north pole elves, or/ and bunnies. and so many of these are used to threaten little kids - "you wont get your candy, gifts, whatever, if you arent good." stop that. that's why little kids scream when they have to take their picture with santa or bunnies. stop doing that. wouldnt it be so much nicer to take your kidlets to church so they can think about the miracles of G-d? its the resurrection, y'all.
(then eat your eggs - me, i'm stuck with this unleavened crud for another day. lemme axe yous another question: when the israelites were fleeing the desert - why couldnt we have invented PITA instead of MATZA. both unleavened. one is soft. the other, well, you cannot eat it with anything good.)

end of my jewish-christian rant.

Had I received that note, I think I would feel obligated to set up an Easter display that would make the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade look like small potatoes.

On the subject queensbee brings up, I am an observant Catholic. I have no problem with a both-and approach to Christmas and Easter. Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny took a back seat on both holydays to the worship of our Lord. It's only when God ceases to be the most important part of celebration that I have a problem with Christmas Trees and Easter eggs and all that other fluff.

And finally, I love Matzohs. Go figure.

queensbee - I think matza, because quart sized ziploc bags weren't invented yet. ;-P

My understanding is the the bunny came from old Germanic tribes. When they were assimilated (let's just call it that), the religion of the conquerers picked up some of the old traditions, to make the "new" religion more palatable. Similar thing with the Christmas tree.

I have no idea if this is right, or where the heck eggs came into the picture.

well, so many gentiles tell me how much they like matza. point of fact, its nice to taste some. but EIGHT DAYS OF IT does not so fun stuff to your digestion. trust me on that. and it isnt just eating matza, its the ohter stuff we cant have: corn, peas, any kind of leavened bread, pasta, beans, etc. trust me. i like potatoes. just not every day.
it is over tomorrow. and not a moment too soon. pass the lo mein.

Not to change the religious subject, but that house doesn't exactly look particularly "upscale." Then again, I've never been to Nova Scotia.

Hats off to that family. If the neighbors don't like it, well ... fill in the blank. At least they're not blasting Barry Bananalo at earsplitting levels. Wait ... now there's an idea.

I'm a godless heathen but I try not to be mean about it. If someone wants to celebrate a holiday in their own way, that's OK by me.
Once when I was teaching Hebrew in a synagogue, I overheard a grandfather mention his granddaughter waiting for "Hanukkah Claus". That's all right by me, too, but I do want to see the rooftop inflatable for it.

Forget the inflatable; I want to see the 90-minute holiday special starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Ashley Judd, and Mitch McConnell.

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