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March 25, 2013


Essex school bans triangular flapjacks

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)


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Flapjack wounds, can be very serious.

They could poke your eye out, especially if they are blueberry or buckwheat.

How about throwing star shaped watercress sandwiches?

Banning these weapons has been shown to be ineffective.

The most effective deterrent to this kind of tragedy is rather to arm each teacher with her own triangular griddle and flapjack mix, and off course to assure proper training in flapjack self defense.

We must also call on the mental health community to work with law enforcement to identify and quarantine those misguided souls who, in their fits of homicidal rage, might be inclined to size a triangular flapjack or two to wreak their mayhem among the innocent!

Don't close Gitmo!

"A Year Seven pupil was hit in the eye by a triangle flapjack"

Let's give it up for The Flying Triangular Flapjacks!!!

Jerald, I saw them open for (wait for it) Hall and Oates.

Hey, you don't want those things in terrorist hands, do you?

If this is the way they react, it's probably a good thing their minds and judgment all seem to be a little dull.

What, the year seven students? Sure we do. Serves the terrorists right.

@Jeff: I thought they were a trapeze act with Barnum & Barley

see, it only takes 1 bite to make them look like a gun. They must be banned!

If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding!

let them have Twinkies and HoHos and we'll see who is

...And don't make them in the shape of a gun either, dude.

Yet even with this scandal, the sum of the interior angles of a triangle are still 180 degrees.

My Gran is spinning in her grave. NOBODY churns out flapjacks in any shape other than rectangular. 'Least not in Yorkshire. Struth.

We can laugh at this, but it's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye.

So they call granola bars flap jacks in Essex? We are truely two peoples divided by a common language.

Three squares a day? Right all you veterans?

Triangles: Three corners capable of poking your eye
Rectangles: Four corners capable of poking your eye

What am I missing here?

You can have my flapjacks when you pry them from my cold dead fingers.

The only way to stop a bad guy with a triangular flapjack . . .

Next, how to defend yourself against fresh fruit...

If someone invents a 30 round magazine for this flapjacks then things could get really ugly

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