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March 28, 2013

ATTENTION, DECEASED PEOPLE:

Need mourners? Rent them through UK firm

(Thanks to Mike Ester and The Perts)

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And, unbelievably, there are certain "agencies" in the
UK that will even rent you a corpse, should you need one...

Can you imagine interviewing with this company ? Your resume might have to be changed. Instead of TAKE CHARGE ATTITUE....use......AM A GOOD LISTENER. Instead of INCREASED SALES 46%.....use......ALWAYS CRY AT END OF FOREST GUMP.

The company will be closed on the first day of every week.

Everybody hates Monday mournings.

"This can usually be a popularity issue ..."

So there's this really strack and generally unpleasant Drill Sergeant, and he's just finished giving a trainee Mary hell over some shortcoming. He finishes off by saying, "Now, I bet you just can't wait for me to kick off, so's you can piss on my grave, boy!"

"Sir, no Sir!" says the boot.

"What! How come?"

"Sir, when I get out of the Army, I'll never stand in line again!"

"If you don't go to other people's funerals, they won't come to yours."
-- Yogi Berra, allegedly

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