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March 20, 2013


Chuck Norris shaved.

(Thanks to Mike Ester)


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Santa Claus's beard is probably getting its butt kicked right now.

From my cold, dead upper lip.

Did someone buy him a razor?

I thought he'd only shave when hell freezes over...

Uh oh...anybody seen the devil?

At the Large Hadron Collider, physicists announced discovery of the smallest particle yet observed, but pointed out that it was still larger than the amount I care about Mr Norris'beard.

Indeed, there was another fist under his beard!

And now I understand why he grew it in the first place

You don't tug on Superman's cape...

I think his hair just leapt off his body in fear.

I think the day he shaved it was the day that meteor nearly destroyed Russia. Did any meteors strike Earth while he had his beard? No! The universe no longer fears the beard. What terror will strike next.

Chuck's beard was so tough that they wore out three riding mowers just to trim his sideburns.

looks more like a Charles Norris now...ouch

I am really worried that North Korea might try something right now thinking that one of our nations best defenses is sitting on a barber shop floor.

I guess that this leaves Tom Selleck's mustache as our last line of defense.

Now he couldn't beat up a cup of decaf.

Crazy. That beard stopped bullets. He's gonna have to get a Kevlar face mask now.

He traded The Beard (tm, FaceFur Enterprises) in for The Moobs?

Chuck Norris' beard was so tough it could not be shaved. He had to close his lips and suck really hard. It's all inside now.


Higgs boson or the God particle. Get in the handbasket.

I kind of agree with Betsy.
I had a beard for over 25 years and forgot why I grew it.
Then I shaved and remembered.
He's probably having some kind of buyer's remorse like I did. His razor is in some kind of trouble.

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