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February 27, 2013

WE DON'T PAY OUR GO-GO DANCERS ENOUGH

Go-go dancer helps subdue man wielding ax at Phoenix gay bar

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says "Coming soon to the big screen, with Nicolas Cage if there's any justice.")

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"He said, 'Come on, bring it, I'm gonna hit you with this sucker.' He was pretty crazy and adamant about it," said Maldonado.

As opposed to being pretty meh about saying 'I'm going to hit you with this sucker'

"'scuse me while I whip this out."

So he brought his girlfriend? And a go-go dancer whupped him? What's the difference between this place and an average biker bar?

EVERYBODY! "Well, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay..."

Wait! He was at a gay bar with his girlfriend?

Don't ask, Mikey. Perhaps it was his "girlfriend" IYKWIM.

"I sleep all night and I work all day..."

It's not mentioned in the article, but since it's a gay bar, is it likely the go-go dancer is male?

::picturing some dude with a mustache in a miniskirt::

Yeeps.

Girlfriend? Go-go dancers? Someone hasn't read Gay Bars for Dummies.

Norman, I was wondering the same thing myself.

I like Cage for the lead, but we need someone with greater depth to play the go-go dancer. Dennis Hopper, for example.

What, Hopper's dead? Ok, how about Ted Nugent? We've already signed him to be the pool cue?

Of course the go-go dancer was fearless. How else could he do that job in a gay bar?

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