FORGET ALL OF OUR PREVIOUS NOBEL-PRIZE NOMINATIONS

A pair of Japanese researchers has figured out a polite way to get a long-winded gabber to stop talking: simply point their SpeechJammer gun at the speaker, and shoot.

(Thanks to James in NC)

Comments

[Elon]

How soon till we get to shut up those noisy cell phone users on the subway?

Or have some fun in the middle of a boring speech.

[Clankie]

Wouldn't an angry doberman be more effective ?

[Wiredog]

Didn't Arthur C Clarke write a short story about this?

[Jeff Meyerson]

We need this for Donald Trump.

[PirateBoy]

Can I take it, and a very large battery, to Washington, DC?

Please?

[sandbasser]

PirateBoy: you're going to need more than one...at lot more.

[Ernie G]

It is said to be more effective against a person reading a script than one speaking freely. What about a Teleprompter?

[Hammond Rye]

I already have one. I've always called it a shotgun, though.

[HogsAteMySister]

Honey, I got you a great gift for our anniversary...

[Ernie G]

This effect has been known for a long time. Back when I was an undergraduate, a guy in the dorm where I lived rigged one of these up using a reel-to-reel tape recorder and headphones. I tried it, and it's for real, and scary. I couldn't get more than one syllable out when I tried to talk, even with great effort.

[Davec]

You get the same result with Smith&Wesson

[Spiny Norman]

It is said to be more effective against a person reading a script than one speaking freely. What about a Teleprompter?

Ernie, that would be the Special Deluxe Edition, aka the TOTUS-Jammer.

[Steve]

I'm not sure if this would stop the noise level or double it.

[Spiny Norman]

Double it, briefly, then stop it once confusion takes hold of the long-winded gabber.

Of course, with pompous gabbing pols on the teevee, the mute button is supremely effective.

[Loudmouth]

That used to be called a windjammer, didn't it?

[Make It Rain]

Hey, stop pointing that thing at m.....

[MikeyVA]

Duct tape is cheaper.