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October 06, 2012

LEGAL ARGUMENT OF THE WEEK SO FAR

During the sentencing, Renee Bishop’s attorney said she was not a bad person and questioned whether the attack was a serious attempt of murder, because her use of weapons, which included a heavy mallet, reciprocating saw and hatchet, were not effective.

(Thanks to B'game)

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At last, an improvement on the old Texas He-needed-killin' defense: "He needed killin', but I was too stupid to do it, your honor."

First it was the Thin Mints Melee...

It's a poor workman who blames her tools.

Who says women don't have a problem being taken seriously?

In Texas, anything short of firearms is just an expression of free speech. Sometimes affection.

The photo shows a cordless saw missing parts. She could have been charged with assault without battery.

Might want to cancel that next couple's counseling session.

Actually, in West Texas, this is foreplay.

She'd spent too much time watching that PBS program " This Old Neck " .

Ooh, a battery powered Sawsall. I think that woman saw an episode of CSI.

Dang it, the rule is "the right tool for the job".
Get it straight, people.
I'd have gone with some sort of hammer, possibly ball-peen, to minimize cracks and crevices that would retain evidence.
'Course, a sledge hammer would pretty much seal the deal quickly.
Now I see that I picked the wrong career path.

Steve, we run kind of a machete shop around here.

She should've used the "I'm incompetent with hand and power tools" defense ...

If the saw doesn't drip you must acquit.

I see her lawyer was using a modified Jessica Rabbit defense: "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way,"

'officers said they found an unusual quantity of aluminum roasting pans, bleach and plastic bags in the home, as if someone was planning for a massive cleanup effort.


oh, those nasty splash & splatter stains, & what to do with that big bony carcass?!!?

- 'course, she was jes preppin for thanksgiving...

Jeff, if she looked more like Jessica Rabbit, it mighta worked.

Makes perfect sense to me. Anybody got a bridge I can buy, by the way?

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