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July 27, 2012


Here's a what happened in the opening ceremonies, which technically have not yet taken place.


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There is clearly more to this whole "Dorking" thing than Dave is letting on.

I see where Sir Paul will be playing in the opening ceremonies.

Since when do we let little technicalities like that stand in the way of a good story? Right, never.

Cary on, pip pip.

Dave, I believe a man of your skills will have little trouble photoshopping yourself into this picture of the .

But if I'm wrong, ask Sophie for help.

Rats, it ate the picture link. Um, is Sophie free?

Dorking Cock.

ya dont say nasty things about your host even if they have already said it, because it just isnt.............cricket. if i say i am fat, and then a co-worker agrees..........well, i think you get the general idea. all he had to do was say, oh, i just cant wait until the games start! he waffled, but seemed sincere. of course, this is the same guy who strrapped his doggie to the roof of his car. so, consider that judgment.

Great article Dave. I especially loved your description of the Prime Minister's view of Salt Lake City. Jeff we actually have a place here that has a large chicken just like the one you linked to. I will see if I can get my picture taken in front of it. Of course I'll have to wait until Sophie gets back from the Olympics. Maybe she can make me look good in a picture.

Obviously, the Brits are not taking the squirrels seriously. Call in the French military.

So who wound up getting the silver and bronze medals in the 400-Meter Gaffe event?

The space-time continuum is obviously way out of kilter. According to NB&C the olympics kick off at 6:30 PM CDT which is 11:30 PM BST...long past the average Brit's beddiebye time...unless, of course, there's alcohol involved in which case all bets are off.

Dorking Squirrels WBAGNFARB.

Squirrel Dorking would be a good Olympic sport.

I hear Mitt is terribly excited to be in the backside of 10 Downing Street.

That characterization of Salt Lake City is completely off base. The last time I was there, one of the twelve half-naked savages was on vacation, so there were only eleven of 'em.

If you can't get to Dorking (which for the sake of the Queen's delicate sensibilities is kept outside of London), you could always go to the Docklands for a bit of Wapping, or south London for a spot of Tooting. if these names seem odd or silly, just remember that the English drink a LOT.

The Olympics officially got under way Friday with the much-anticipated opening ceremony, titled “Isles of Wonder,”

Is this anywhere near the 'Aisles of Men'?

This was a classic "Barry Column".

Luckily I wasn't drinking anything or I would have done a spit take into my monitor.

Dave, you accidentally repeated yourself.

You mentioned Mitt. And then squirrels.

Pay attention.

Had they asked George Bush the same question, he would have said "No country on earth could be more betterer prepareded".

And everything would have been fine.

You should see Booby Dingle and Bottoms before you get to Dorking.

If London is so great, why did they let Carnaby St. go to blazes ? Answer me that.

Next, Dave is going to make up stories, like the Queen jumping out of a helicopter with 007.

It's just never going to happen.

We blew it, we should have live-blogged this 24-style. Well, 8-hour-delay-blogged it, anyway.

That being said, I was very impressed how Sebastian Coe was able to give an entire speech completely devoid of non-cliches. He was then upstaged, however, by the cryogenically restored, yet amazingly lifelike, animatronic android replica of Jacques Rogge.

Oh yeah, JK Rowling did a nice job reading from Dave & Ridley's book. Actually it was one of the unauthorized sequels, but hey.

pad, I think they take Rogge out of the deep freeze once every four years, where he normally lives with Avery Brundage and Juan Antonio Samaranch and Generalissimo Francisco Franco.

i was waiting for the tardis.

I loved the Queen as a Bond girl and of course, Mr. Bean.

According to the Urban Dictionary:
Dorking is a term in the UK for saddle sniffing- i.e. taking a whiff of someone's bicycle/horse saddle, presumably without the owner's consent.

I'm not sure this would be a popular Olympic event. Just sayin...

Us too judi. We were rooting for Doctor Who to light the cauldron.

Is it me or did they invent new countries just for the boring exciting parade of where the hell is Tajikistan???? countries?

H.M. was thinking exactly the same thing here.

Barry 'Barry' Obama not expected to go near the Olympics. Or England ever again for that matter.


The ceremony was well done. I give high props to the Brits,they've done a fantastic job. Beiijing was going to be hard to top, but I think the Brits are right up there with them.

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