GIVE IT UP...
...for the Grave-Disturbing Badgers.
(Thanks to Jeff from Pittsburgh)
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February 29, 2012
THEY WON'T GET FAR WITHOUT A LOT OF MAKEUP
WAIT... SNAILS?
Seattle donut shop cited for flies, rat poop, snails
(Thanks to Craig Roberts)
GUY CONCERNS
JESUS SIGHTINGS UPDATE
Now: A tortilla.
(Thanks to Larry Martell)
HMM
YEEPERS
Six-Legged Giant Finds Secret Hideaway, Hides For 80 Years
(Thanks to Jeff Renner)
Cool Place We Never Heard of Before: Ball's Pyramid.
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?
(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)
WE THOUGHT BRAVO ALREADY DID THIS
Dedicated TV channel for dogs entertains pets while owners are away
(Thanks to Mr. Ted Habte-Gabr)
YOU WILL BE STUNNED WHEN YOU FIND OUT WHERE THIS HAPPENED
DUI driver with sex toy in tush rear-ends other driver
(Thanks to Steve [The Other Steve] Lancaster)
WE WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER WHERE WE WERE WHEN WE HEARD THE NEWS
(Thanks to David Emery and Jeffrey Brown)
MEN:
Do not click here.
(Thanks to queensbee, Kendall Avery and Peter Metrinko)
ISN'T THIS A PORN-MOVIE PLOT?
Plumber strips to tackle gushing hyrdrant
(Thanks to The Perts)
TOTALLY JUSTIFIED
You will never guess the state.
(Thanks to Catherine)
THEY WON'T GET FAR ON FOOT
Two men held for stealing historic Chinese bridge
We include this purely for informational purposes: The duo, identified only as Mr Hong and Mr Wang, are both from Anhui province.
(Thanks to Kibby F5)
CLUTCHING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE
'Dead' woman climbs out of coffin
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
THE POTENTIAL MARKET IS HUGE
WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME
DO YOU HAVE PLANS FOR 2040?
(Thanks to The Perts)
TO AN UNCULTURED PERSON SUCH AS YOU, IT MAY APPEAR TO BE JUST A BIG ROCK
But in fact it is art.
(Thanks to manual tomato, who says "A plastic replica would have done just fine.")
HAS ANYBODY SEEN THE LATE ALEX KARRAS LATELY?
Man arrested, accused of punching police horse
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who asks you to guess the state)
Correction: Apparently the late Alex Karras is still alive. We apologize, and request that he please not punch us.
February 28, 2012
ATTENTION, DUDES
Bong recreation area announces workdays
(Thanks to Dawn Price)
TOTALLY WORTH IT
36 Cars Through Ice at Wisconsin Fishing Tournament
(Thanks to funny man)
DUH
Officials: Gas Smell Originates In N.J.
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER PLUNGER
Semi Rollover Spills Toilet Paper, Closes 35E in St. Paul
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
THE GOLDEN AGE OF SPORTS
Jeremy Lin's Underwear Is For Sale On eBay
(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)
THOSE WACKY GERMANS
At Meine Kleine Farm, consumers can see a picture of the pig they're eating on the packaging. They can even choose which pig will be slaughtered to make their sausages.
(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)
PR PITCH OF THE DAY SO FAR
Hi,
If you are thinking about running a family business feature in the near future, why not consider Knobby Knife, a device set to revolutionise the rubber industry.
If you would like any more information or a comment from Knobby Knife, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me.
SOME DAY THEY WILL PECK US ALL TO DEATH
IS OUR CHILDREN LITERATE?
FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT
Waiter spills beer on German Chancellor
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
ALWAYS CARRY ONE IN YOUR PURSE
Deer rescues woman from attacker
(Thanks to Greg Snow)
HAS ANYBODY SEEN CHARLIE SHEEN LATELY?
Weird 'dog-headed pig monster' terrorizes Africa
(Thanks to Bob Brogan)
February 27, 2012
TOTALLY WORTH IT
You CAN live forever... as long as you are a flatworm, say scientists
(Thanks to The Perts)
THAT SETTLES IT: WE NEED TO BAN PANTS
Georgia Soccer Player Arrested for Shoplifting Hash Browns in Her Pants
(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown)
THE GIVEAWAY WAS THE CABLE
(Thanks to Ralph)
OOPS
SOON TO BE A MAJOR HEIST MOVIE STARRING GEORGE CLOONEY AND AT LEAST 14 OTHER STARS
Three men charged with stealing dozens of sewer grates
(Thanks to Dave the Librarian)
IF LAST NIGHT'S OSCARS GAVE US NOTHING ELSE...
...they gave us Angelina Jolie legbombing.
You never know where The Leg will show up next.
(Thanks to Jeff Spotts)
PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER....
...for Promiscuous Yeast.
(Thanks to RussellMc)
NATURE
Drunken elk hides kids' swing set in a tree
(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)
WE ARE SHOCKED, SHOCKED
Washington, D.C. best city for cheating, online dating service AshleyMadison.com finds
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
WHICH HE TRANSFERRED TO A SWISS BANK ACCOUNT
Man charged with embezzling meatballs and anchovie dip
(Thanks to Ralph)
CSI: DEER PARK
The police chief told us someone had been stealing lunches, drinks, even 60 pounds of deer sausage out of the break room fridge for about a year and police employees were pretty mad. So, the chief authorized a sting operation on the refrigerator.
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
GUYS IN ACTION
Man Shot Twice as he Tries to Shoot Caged Raccoon
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
UPDATE ON THE LARGE NAKED WOMAN WHO STOMPED OUT A CAR WINDSHIELD IN SAN FRANCSCO
Here's a story with a photo. But you might not want to click on it.
(Thanks to Greg Snow)
TODAY'S TEACHING STAFF ROSTER
Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from presenting Today's Teaching Staff Roster.
(Thanks to R & L Stevenson)
IRREPLACEABLE
Artist compensated for two lost French fries
(Thanks to The Perts)
'USE THE TVINGA, LUKE'
Star Wars in Swedish causes fan outrage
(Thanks to The Perts)
February 26, 2012
A REASON TO GO ON LIVING
(Thanks to Jay Brandes)