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January 27, 2012

DUDE

Wanna do some mouth spray?

(Thanks to cyberick)

MUSEUM EXHIBIT OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Presenting: The Bishop's Rectum

(Thanks to Ralph)

LADIES:

We're guessing he's single.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

THIS COUNTRY IS DEFINITELY GOING TO HELL IN A HANDBASKET

‘Face the Nation’ gives you Dave Barry, but no Romney-Gingrich debate

REST IN PEACE, AS LONG AS THE RENT GETS PAID

The body of a Clearwater grandmother has been taken from a storage unit where the family supposedly stored her body in a coffin since 1995.

(Thanks to B'game and Ralph)

'HOLY TORTILLAS'

Virgin Mary appears on grill of La Feria restaurant

(Thanks to David Kirtley)

AFTER WHICH THEY'LL ALL BE HEADING TO FLORIDA

China driving schools teaching millions the art of war

(Thanks to Another Ralph)

I'D LIKE A 7 A.M. WAKE-UP CALL, PLEASE

In Japan, Lastel is a hotel that stores dead bodies in refrigerated coffins.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

OR SO THEY CLAIM

Scientists create 'invisible' object

(Thanks to The Perts)

WE'VE BEEN ON FLIGHTS LIKE THAT

Artist plans to bury 727 jetliner in US desert

(Thanks to funny man)

January 26, 2012

HARD TO BELIEVE THIS PLAN FAILED

FBI: Man tried to hire assassin, pin murder on cat

(Thanks to The Perts)

WOMEN

Do not mess with them.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

REALLY? THEN HOW COME THEY THINK THEY CAN FIT THEIR FEET INTO THEIR MOUTHS?

Babies born knowing physics

(Thanks to The Perts)

NO RUSH

Power lines fall, trap driver inside beer truck

(Thanks to B'game)

WHERE THE HELL IS THE UNITED NATIONS?

ABBA to release first new song in 18 years

(Thanks to jon harris)

THE AMAZING THING IS THAT HE EVER DID IT SOBER

Pat Sajak Admits to Hosting Wheel of Fortune Drunk

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO BREASTFEED THIS CHILD

Toddler in Israel bites off snake's head and survives

(Thanks to W. von Papineau)

POLICE HAVE NOTHING TO GO ON

Auto flushers stolen

(Thanks to Greg Snow)

ANYTHING TO DECLARE?

Nearly 1,500 Live Turtles Found in Smugglers' Luggage

WE SAW SUSPICIOUS COOKIE OPEN FOR 420 POUNDS OF COW BRAINS

Suspicious cookie prompts evacuation of Berrien County Courthouse

(Thanks to Chris Lawson)

WE ARE HEARTBROKEN

Sorry, guys: Chick Beer is not for you

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

SPEAKING OF THE FRENCH

Hervé Morin, a French presidential candidate and former defence minister, has become a national laughing stock after he claimed he witnessed the Allied landings at Normandy in 1944, which took place 17 years before he was born.

(Thanks to funny man)

NO WORD ON THE FRENCH RESPONSE

Toronto teens send Lego man high into the sky

Video here.

(Thanks to The Perts)

WHAT ITALIAN-TEAM ATHLETES ARE UP TO WHILE AUSTRALIANS ARE DEFECATING ON HOTEL TABLES

AC Milan’s Kevin-Prince Boateng is always injured because we have sex 10 times a week, claims Melissa Satta

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

SPORTS UPDATE FROM DOWN UNDER

The 21-year-old, who has joined the Warriors from the Auckland Vulcans, was sacked by the Sydney Roosters in 2010 after he and a team-mate were found to have defecated on tables in a hotel room.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

THEY BOTH HAVE THIS BLOG'S FULL SUPPORT

TWO porn stars are set to get voters' pulses racing when they face off in a mayoral race.

(Thanks to BillyJoeJimBob)

January 25, 2012

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Cat in the cockpit grounds Toronto-bound airplane

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

THIS WILL ONLY MAKE IT MORE DESIRABLE

Thorpe Park’s new Swarm ride leaves test dummies with missing limbs

Article-1327493260138-116EC204000005DC-970700_636x300

(Thanks to wiredog)

IT HAS OUR VOTE

Penguin defecates on state Senate floor

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

NO DOUBT THERE IS A PERFECTLY INNOCENT EXPLANATION

Thai thief caught with 10,000 pairs of women's underwear

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)

A GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND

Strip club launches 'Alibi' aftershave to recreate scent of the office

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

THEY HAVE THIS BLOG'S FULL SUPPORT

Topless tobogganists crave national arena

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

SOON TO BE DATING SNOOKI

Dead whale stinks up Ocean City, N.J.

(Thanks to The Perts)

A FLORIDA LICENSE ETC.

Texas woman stranded for five days in Idaho wastewater pond

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

EVERYONE SHOULD CARRY THEM

Breast Implant Saves Stabbing Victim's Life

(Thanks to Horace LaBadie)

THANKS, SCIENTISTS

Stem Cells Build a Better Rat Penis

(Thanks to Thad Humphries)

HE ALREADY HAS HIS LICENSE

Authorities in Florida said they arrested a man who crashed his sport utility vehicle into other vehicles in five separate incidents on a single day.

(Thanks to The Perts)

SEND THEM TO WASHINGTON

420 pounds of cow brains seized at Cairo airport

(Thanks to The Perts)

(We saw 420 Pounds of Cow Brains open for the Troggs)

 

GET ME SOME BACON, STAT

Pork, the surprise remedy for a nosebleed

(Thanks to Ralph)

AS RECOMMENDED BY EXPERTS

"I called 911, but first I slapped her with a piece of pizza."

(Thanks to Scott Marcusky)

IT HAS GOT TO STOP

Flamingo pummeling puts Sebastian woman in pokey

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Ralph)

January 24, 2012

JUST SO YOU'RE NOT THE LAST PERSON ON EARTH TO SEE IT

Here's the viola player who mimics the cellphone ring.

(Thanks to recovering violist Not My Usual Alias)

DON'T MESS WITH ALASKAN WOMEN

85-year-old woman wields shovel to stop moose stomping

(Thanks to Horace LaBadie)

WAIT... THERE'S A NEW PROCEDURE?

Here's How to Get Pregnant in 2012!

(Thanks to jon harris)

NEW YORK EDUCATION UPDATE

Is our sign painters learning?

24.1n006.shcoolsign.c--300x450

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

DALLAS STRUMPETING FLASHBACK

Here's a nice report from Michael Merschel of the Dallas Morning News. Thanks for introducing us, Mike.

Update: Also, here's an interview with Bloomberg's Zinta Lundborg.

YUM

Crispy Testicles with Onion, Pepper, and Caper Sauce

(Thanks to funny man)

DON'T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT THEM

Doritos Saves Hot Model From Elevator Fart

(Thanks to funny man)

STAND TALL, MIAMI

We're Number Two.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

GUYS IN ACTION

Moby Dick typed on toilet paper.

(Thanks to Ralph)

 
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