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December 31, 2011
HAVE FUN TONIGHT
WHICH QUALIFIES IT FOR A FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE
'Intelligent' slime able to navigate its way out of maze
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
HARD TO BELIEVE THIS PLAN FAILED
(Thanks to John Moore and Karen in Panama City)
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
Nikkei Women is predicting that Japanese women will be embracing the latest Korean cosmetic trend: a beauty cream called Prestige cream d’escargot made from snail entrails that is all the rage in Seoul.
(Thanks to Joe in Japan)
YET ANOTHER ASSAULT ON OUR CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS
Lancaster curbs mall's use of anti-crow cannons
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
SPEAKING OF INTERNATIONAL:
Here's an International Bra Size Calculator.
(Thanks to Paul R.)
TIME FOR AN INTERNATIONAL AID CONCERT STARRING, AT MINIMUM, BONO
Uganda is running out of grasshoppers.
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Ralph)
WE ARE SHOCKED, SHOCKED
Man claims he was fired to make room for ‘hot chicks'
(Thanks to to Joe in Japan)
THIS IS BIG
Andrew D. Basiago, 50, a lawyer in Washington State who served in DARPA’s time travel program Project Pegasus in the 1970’s, and fellow chrononaut William B. Stillings, 44, who was tapped by the Mars program for his technical genius, have publicly confirmed that Obama was enrolled in their Mars training class in 1980 and that each later encountered Obama during visits to rudimentary U.S. facilities on Mars that took place from 1981 to 1983.
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
SOON TO BE DATING SNOOKI
Rare 'faceless and brainless' fish seen off UK coast
(Thanks to Bob Brogan)
IN MIAMI...
December 30, 2011
SHE SPEAKS WITH AUTHORITY
Whale Sperm Makes the Ocean Salty, Snooki Claims
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
SOON WE WILL HAVE NO CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS LEFT
STAND TALL, SUNSHINE STATERS
52 Examples Why Florida Is Still The Craziest State
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
Weird as only Florida can be in 2011
(Thanks to Ken Morgan)
Butt injections, angry 92-year-olds, free breast exams: Florida's strange 2011
(Thanks to Lisa)
IT ALSO HAD A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE
UPDATE ON THE GUY STOPPED WITH GIFT-WRAPPED POT (ALLEGEDLY)
(Thanks to Craig Roberts)
NEW YEAR'S EVE REMINDER:
(Thanks to Greg Snow, who says "I always take the safe route and crawl.")
GUESS THE STATE
Man Burns House So Mother, Wife Won’t Move In
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
HEY, IT HAS SENTIMENTAL VALUE
Man accused of stealing his urine sample
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
APOCALYPSE UPDATE
Freak foam storm swamps seaside resort of Cleveleys
(Thanks to Ralph, who says "I think I saw Seaside Foam Storm open for the Beach Boys.")
GIVE THIS PERSON A MEDAL
Seattle 'locavore' traps, cooks squirrels
(Thanks to Ralph)
December 29, 2011
SO LADIES: HE WILL SOON BE SINGLE
MY KIND OF (VERY WEIRD) TOWN
I am often asked why I like Miami. If you go here, you can listen to a podcast of a recent Miami-based radio show in which I attempt to explain myself. Or, you could do something productive. The choice is yours!
CORPSE D'OEUVRES
BRILLIANT
COEUR d'ALENE, Idaho — A Washington state man faces felony marijuana trafficking charges after an officer found 3.3 pounds of marijuana wrapped up as Christmas gifts during a traffic stop in northern Idaho.
(Thanks to Craig Roberts)
ATTENTION, SHOPPERS:
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker, who says "Sounds painful.")
WE'RE HOPING THOSE WERE VIRTUAL DOLLARS
A Chinese man spent $16,000 for a virtual sword.
(Thanks to Chuck Cody, who's guessing the man is single)
MONTANA
(Thanks to The Perts)
CSI: DOWN UNDER
YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT
Polar Potties calendar shows where explorers go
(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby and The Perts)
HORN TOOTING
HOW ABOUT ONE ON 'INAPPROPRIATE PITCHES'?
Hi Dave,
I would LOVE to write a guest post for your blog. After looking through your archives, I think an article on “Frugally Fantastic Holiday Food Preparations" would be outstanding for your audience.
If you like that topic, I'll start working on it right away! Or I can think of another one.
Thank you!
Kelly
WOOF, DUDE
'Dogs love marijuana' says non-local vet
(Thanks to Joe in Japan)
WHY WE LOVE LIVE LOCAL TV NEWS
"Congratuations on your big hooters."
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
THIS EXPLAINS THE SNUGGIE
Shopping While Intoxicated nets online gains
(Thanks to Bob Brogan)
PLEASE MAKE A NOTE OF IT
There Will Be No Friday This Week In Samoa
(Thanks to Skip Franklin)
O LITTLE TOWN OF... RUN!
Feuding monks brawl at Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who saw Feuding Monks open for Madonna; also thanks to Ralph)
December 28, 2011
SOUNDS LIKE DISCRIMINATION TO US
SWINGING ON THAT BIG VINE IN THE SKY
(Thanks to The Perts and RussellMc)
IT MUST BE TRUE, BECAUSE IT'S IN THE WEEKLY WORLD NEWS
(Thanks to funny man)
TIME FOR STRICT FEDERAL CONTROLS
Man attacks four outside Kona bar with cow's femur, police say
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
MEN
Never, ever, EVER click here.
("Thanks" to Jeff Meyerson)
WE WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER WHERE WE WERE WHEN WE HEARD THE NEWS
Nike makes Skittles shoes for Marshawn Lynch
(Thanks to Craig Roberts)
NOBODY HITCHHIKES ANY MORE
Man stole Greyhound bus to visit friend, cops say
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
ALL WE REALLY KNOW AT THIS POINT IS THAT IT HAS A VALID FLORIDA LICENSE
Searching for Bigfoot in Texas
(Thanks to Karen in Panama City)
WE SAW YETI FINGER OPEN FOR THE STONES
Yeti finger mystery solved by Edinburgh scientists
Most Fascinating Section:
The finger, which was said to be from a yeti, was taken from a Nepalese monastery by an American explorer in the 1950s. He replaced it with a human finger he had been given by a British scientist.
The yeti finger was taken from a Nepalese monastery by an American explorer in the 1950sIt was then smuggled out of India with the help of Hollywood actor James Stewart, who hid the artefact in his wife's lingerie case.
(Thanks to Karen in Panama City)
Wait a Minute: "...a human finger he had been given by a British scientist"???
SEND THIS TOWN TO WASHINGTON
U.K. town sprays manure to keep away rowdy youths
(Thanks to The Perts)
JESUS SIGHTINGS UPDATE
Now: A sock.
(Thanks to [not surprisingly] Unholy Slacker and Allen at Division)