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December 08, 2011


Bad nativity sets.


(Thanks to Omaha Bridget)


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EVERY Messiah tastes better with BACON!!!!

*yeah, yeah, loading belongings on rocket sled to Hell*

The food one looks bad. The dogs look cute in the picture. I personally have a nativity set on my lawn from Bronner's in Frankenmuth Mi. I also have the 3 wisemen along with the traditional Mary and Joseph and baby Jesus. I love it. I also have lighted deer and a tree and lights on pine trees and shed. I enjoy the lights.

Mmmmm. Ground Messiah on kraut. Yummy.

*Hops on Punkin's sled.

And would it be wrong to shake up the baby Jesus in the snow globe?

(That's a rhetorical question)

*welcomes wiredog, puts top down, gets ready to travel to warmer climes...*

The Joseph-and-Mary-as-kids one seems to be saying, "We wanted a puppy. And we got this?"

We three links of pork sausage are
Wrapped in bacon like meaty cigars
Bacon manger, in the range here
With sauerkraut spread from a jar

which prompts me to ask: Why?

Nativity: Better left to the imagination, IHO.

But also: if there were a nonoffensive cameo by Jesus in a light-hearted movie, who would be best to play
the King of Kings?

A. Russell Brand
B. Johnny Depp
C. Jim Carrey

List for hell is really growing here.

But one has to admit that the design was original.

We have a very old, non meat, nativity I put out every year. On Christmas Eve the youngest child puts the Baby Jesus in the manger. I just can't see them doing this with a hot dog. Besides the smell, I have to agree with one of the comments on the story, it just isn't kosher.

Scrolling through the comments, I came across a link to a Nativity Set made of tampons.

Good luck to all you sled riders. GOOD ONE JohnnyB !

Note to Swedish town of Gavle: Next year, make a bacon bocken; that way, even if it burns, it'll still be delicious!

Aww, I actually like the Irish one. My daughter informs me that a gingerbread figure may be dressed in bacon to recall lady gaga's meat dress.

Theresa, Bronner's is THE BESTEST!!! Wally Bronner was such a wonderful man.

Lairbo, I'm nominating you for Bocken King!!!

JohnnyB, your bacon carol may be the best thing next to actual bacon.

One year my little cousin Danny made a toilet paper roll nativity that was really adorable. And in their real nativity they lost the baby Jesus so they filled in the manger with a peanut with a painted face. ><

Also, and I nearly forgot this till I saw the one carved from Spam™, my uncle Dwight did one of those jigsaw-cut nativities that pop out in layers (like this). But he didn't use a nice log or large piece of wood; oh no. He made HIS from a used toilet lid. >< IANMTU. My aunt was mortified.

Technically, you can't accuse it of being tasteless...

those are fantastic. this whole thing needs to go viral. i'm getting the handbasket, but, i really want to send this to my entire choir. (they have a sense of humor)
what would jesus do, indeed.

Goodie! Someone posted this on Twitter and I didn't know how to get it to Daveness.

yum hark how tacky

Here's the link to that fondant nativity they got him to take down.

Will the wise men be bringing gulden, franks-in-scent and myrrh to the party?

Tackeiest one I ever saw had Moe, larry, and Cyrly as the magi

Yeah, I clicked on the link in the comments to the tampon nativity set. The worst part was, it took me to a site called "Tampon Crafts" (yes, an entire website). Their tagline is "For Any Time of the Month."

Layzee, I saw that. It just ... yeah, no.

What's with all the animals? Penguins? WTFBBQ?

I did kind of get a kick out of the Leprechaun Christmas (which WBAGNFA Lifetime Movie of the Week).

holy cow. i've been a dave barry fan for, like, two decades (at least). this is a minor life 'win' to get an incoming blog link from dave's blog to mine. i think i deserve a good cigar today.

Welcome Mark. Here's your ticket for the rocketsled. Please place caryy-ons securely in the overhead compartment.

Hi Mark. Welcome to the asylum blog. We're a bunch of lunatics nice friendly people here.

The nativity scene from yesterday with the stripper Mary and Joseph doesn't look so bad now.

*waves @ Mark* Welcome! The bar is on your left, the pool is on the right and Hammie's sheep™ are in the closet.

Damned copycat spammer freaks. Put HIM on the rocketsled and let 'er rip!

♪ Oh Little Town of Bacon and Ham.... ♪ ♪

Not only can it inspire you, the Nativity can feed and heal you....

So come on up and be heeled...

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