SINCE THE BLOG WON'T POST THIS
...the s.b. is stepping in to say: Say WHAT?
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November 30, 2011
NOT TO MENTION BEING A GOOD NAME FOR A ROCK BAND
POO-POWERED GLOWING BACTERIA LIGHT UP THE HOUSE
(Thanks to Gregg in Austin)
GUYS IN ACTION
THAT MUST HAVE BEEN REALLY GOOD SEX THEY WEREN'T HAVING
French man ordered to pay wife 10,000 euros for lack of sex
(Thanks to Larry from London)
THE DOG PRODUCED A VALID FLORIDA HUNTING LICENSE
Utah duck hunter shot in buttocks by his dog
(Thanks to Spotsie)
WE HAVE GOT TO SEE THIS MOVIE
JESUS SIGHTINGS UPDATE
Now: A wet paper towel.
(Thanks to funny man)
THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS
Flying Squirrel Invades NJ Emergency Room
(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown; funny man; Chris Elzi; Emily, Leslie and W; Bill Hudgins; KJP and Nancy Gill)
BASICALLY, YES.
WHEN FRYING PANS ARE OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL HAVE FRYING PANS
Police say a woman used a frying pan to rob a dry cleaning business.
(Thanks to jon harris)
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD...
There's nothing particularly funny about this; for a woman from Ohio, it's just a cool thing to see at lunch.
WHEN A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER JUST WON'T DO
Indian farmers dump bags of snakes in tax office
(Thanks to Jay Brandes)
AHOY
Ships warned of floating Vauxhall Corsa in Bristol Channel
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who notes that "it's probably on its way to Florida.")
CHECK OUT THOSE PARALEGALS
Miami's Federal Jail Overrun With Strippers Posing As Paralegals
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
WE LOVE THIS WOMAN TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE
A DEAL IS A DEAL
Colorado man sues Topeka-area couple he kidnapped
(Thanks to Bruce Webster, Carroll Stewart, Jeff Meyerson, Greg Snow, jon harris and frodolives)
YUM
Winter vomiting virus: British oysters contain bug
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
November 29, 2011
IT'S OK, I'M AN EDUCATOR
All in the name of 'art': The 65-year-old professor who poses nude with students
(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger, who says, "Not at all creepy!")
A HOLIDAY TRADITION RETURNS (UNTIL IT BURNS)
PAGLIACCI WANT A CRACKER
Opera Singing Parrot Lost in New York Aria
(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger)
WELL, DUH: HE'S A BUTT SPECIALIST
Florida woman: Fix-A-Flat butt injection ‘doc’ ruined my face
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
GOOD NEWS FOR THE LEAD-LINED-UNDERWEAR INDUSTRY
Laptop Wi-Fi said to nuke sperm
(Thanks to Don Faber)
FINALLY, AN ALTERNATIVE TO FLUORIDE
Moonshine Found In Local Water Plant
(Thanks to Poker and Bill Hudgins)
TOTALLY THE SQUIRREL'S FAULT
Monroe man tries to shoot squirrel, hits himself instead
(Thanks to Theresa Hogue)
THIS IS ALSO VERY UPSETTING, AND THE PHOTOS ARE INADEQUATE
Cheeky monkeys pull down student's dress in search for lost snack
(Thanks to Anil Haji)
HAR THIS IS TERRIBLE
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
MEANWHILE IN SPORTS
Villagers wallop hairy Lizards in Phuket's cricket league
(Thanks to W. von Papineau)
IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR
Woman stabbed with Christmas ornament
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
Update: Christmas tree thieves caught after leaving needle trail for police to follow
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
'DEAD HEAT'
FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT
Germany ready to inseminate you, minister says
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
GUYS MAY GET OLD
...but they're still guys.
(Thanks to Ralph)
WE SUSPECT TERRORISM
An unexplained tofu explosion in Portland.
(Thanks to Ed Floden, Jeff Meyerson and Mark Schlesinger)
(Yes, "Tofu Explosion" WBAGNFARB.)
IT'S MORE LIKE EVERY THREE SECONDS
Men don’t think about sex every seven seconds: study
(Thanks to The Perts)
IT'S HIS BULLDOG GENES
Related Celebrity-Glamour Update: Flores -- who is suing Brit for sexual harassment -- now claims she uses methamphetamines, farts a lot, picks her nose and has terrible hygiene practices.
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
STAND TALL, BULLDOGS
From The New York Freaking Times: ...bulldogs are the most relentless farters in the canine world.
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
EVEN THE GIANT CHRISTMAS GOAT?
Sweden proposes ban on sex with animals
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker, Matt Filar and Mark Schlesinger)
WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY GOD CREATED DUCT TAPE
November 28, 2011
IF YOU READ ONLY ONE MEDICAL ABSTRACT THIS YEAR...
...we hope it isn't this one.
(Thanks to Jay Brandes)
GUESS THE STATE
A 43-year-old man said to have shot at his lawn mower while intoxicated, fought his adult son and pulled a shotgun on the adult son was arrested after being shocked three times with a Taser, according to recently released records.
Key Quote: Wach said he didn't understand why he was being taken to the Martin County jail. He said he routinely shoots in the yard, saying "fighting is what redneck people do."
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?
Urban bee-hive designed for apartment windows
(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger)
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT
Gun club invites children to pose with Santa... and their choice of firearm
(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger)
STAND TALL, BALHAM
Balham urinal debuts world's first pee-controlled game
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and W. von Papineau)
PLEASE JUST SHOOT US NOW
CANADIAN CULTURE UPDATE
Halifax lobster webcam disappearance upsets viewers
(Thanks to The Perts)
IT'S NO GIANT CHRISTMAS GOAT, BUT STILL
23-foot-high theremin appears in Melbourne, begins to freak out passersby
(Thanks to The Perts)
November 27, 2011
SUDDENLY THERE IS A REASON TO GO ON LIVING
The giant Swedish Christmas goat is back.
(Thanks to Dr. Doug)
THERE IS NO REASON TO GO ON LIVING
(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger)
WE CAN'T BELIEVE THOSE THINGS ARE EVEN LEGAL
Arizona woman tries to rob store with toy penguin, police say
(Thanks to Ralph)
STAY THE HELL OFF THESE GUYS' LAWNS
A police vehicle was returning to Grafton police station at 7.15pm on Monday, March 7, when officers saw a man holding a tomahawk in his right hand above his head in front of a Villiers St address.
(Thanks to Jay Brandes)