ALWAYS KEEP ONE HANDY
'Hillbilly' brought chainsaw to road-rage dispute
Why You Need to Keep It Tuned Up: The terrified driver watched in horror as Tedford jerked the chainsaw’s pull cord 15 times trying to start it.
(Thanks to W. von Papineau)
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Hey at least he did not bring out the banjos
Posted by: oldfatguy | November 23, 2011 at 03:08 PM
"You messed with the wrong Ennismore hillbilly."
Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I've heard that...
Posted by: Head_Smashed_In | November 23, 2011 at 03:21 PM
To tame a hillbilly, you have at look them straight in the eye and approach with your palms facing up. You must also talk in a soothing voice about subjects as diverse as Merle Haggard, banana pudding with real 'nilla wafers, and mudflaps. Do not cut them off in traffic.
Posted by: Voluntary | November 23, 2011 at 03:22 PM
And the writers for Scary Movie 5 just thought up another scene.
Posted by: KJP | November 23, 2011 at 03:44 PM
High Canadian hillbillies. Who knew? WBAGNFARB.
Posted by: Loudmouth | November 23, 2011 at 03:45 PM
"He reacted by passing the pickup truck, manoeuvring in front of him and slamming on his brakes to come to a dead stop on the busy leg of the Trans-Canada Highway near the 7th Line of Asphodel, Crown attorney Jelena Vlacic said."
What an asphodel.
Posted by: manual tomato | November 23, 2011 at 03:52 PM
I'm confused. The guy cut him off! He was perfectly justified in what he did imho.
Posted by: nursecindy | November 23, 2011 at 03:54 PM
Very disappointed there was no booking photo.
Has Judi been fired yet?
Posted by: HogsAteMySister | November 23, 2011 at 04:21 PM
“You messed with the wrong Ennismore hillbilly,”
Doesn't that imply that there is a right Ennismore hillbilly?
--Signed,
Confused
manual tomato: I think the '7th Line of Asphodel' was one of the Signs of the Apocalypse, according to that Camping guy.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | November 23, 2011 at 04:33 PM
HogsAte: I found the picture for you.
One of the articles also mentioned a carving knife.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | November 23, 2011 at 04:37 PM
The 7th Line of Asphodel seems to a road lying between (ahem) the 6th and 8th Lines, in the Township of Asphodel, Ontario.
It could also be an arcane reference to a line of script in a parchment stored in the archives of the Gatekeeper of Hasperin, Who shall be Forever Nameless.
Posted by: pogo | November 23, 2011 at 04:45 PM
Golly! This is the cover story in Hillbilly
Mental Health for December!!!
Posted by: J. Bodine | November 23, 2011 at 05:26 PM
Tedford pleaded guilty to aggravated assault by endangering the life of a 30-year-old Hastings man, assault with a weapon, uttering threats, dangerous driving, mischief and possessing a small amount of marijuana.
I'm shocked! Hillbilies use pot? I thought moonshine was the only vice....
Posted by: funny man | November 23, 2011 at 05:32 PM
The dude needs lots more MaryJ to chill out.
At first, I thought this had to be Texas and it was a remake of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Of course had it been Texas, the 30 year old would have been packing and there probably would have have been a dead hillbilly.
Posted by: EyeGore | November 23, 2011 at 06:00 PM
The very fact that he could enunciate well enough for bystanders to understand exactly what he said proves he's a "wannabe" hillbilly.
"Hick" is a different matter, entirely.
Posted by: Steve who grew up in the hills | November 23, 2011 at 06:02 PM
Wonder if he had a concealed carry permit? oh, wait...
Posted by: Coconuts | November 23, 2011 at 06:42 PM
If you jerk it more than 16 times, you're not just trying to start your chainsaw.
Posted by: Clankie | November 23, 2011 at 07:51 PM
See what gun control laws can do? With real hillbillies, this would have been over a lot faster, without all that unnecessary effort to start a chain saw.
Posted by: Ralph | November 24, 2011 at 01:07 AM
Afkat, if you show up, I left you a note on the Hungry thread. :) (I used to have your email, but don't anymore, else I'd have just sent you a note.)
Posted by: Diva | November 24, 2011 at 01:09 AM
Here's the Florida version.
Posted by: Ralph | November 24, 2011 at 01:51 AM
Here's the next reality show on Discovery. Great. More rednecks on TV.
(Remember when Discovery had GOOD programming?)
Posted by: pishaw | November 24, 2011 at 02:53 AM
Nice, Ralph. Better stay off his lawn.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | November 24, 2011 at 07:18 AM
Happy Thanksgiving everybody! If you have to loosen your watch strap after you've finished eating, you may have eaten too much. (joke stolen from David Letterman)
Posted by: nursecindy | November 24, 2011 at 08:17 AM
"This is my property and I will bulldoze the whole … place,"
It's in the Bill of Rights just after the chainsaw amendment.
Posted by: Loudmouth | November 24, 2011 at 08:33 AM
Jerry Seinfeld said the mistake everyone makes (besides starting to eat at 2:00) is to dress up in nice clothes, rather than wearing loose sweat pants.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | November 24, 2011 at 09:10 AM
Loudmouth, I saw The Chainsaw Amendment open for Santana.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | November 24, 2011 at 09:10 AM
In West VA, he would have just shot at him. That is what the carry permit is for!
ALSO: If it takes 15 yanks to git yer "chainsaw" going, ya just ain't tryin".
Posted by: MikeyVA | November 24, 2011 at 09:45 AM
Next time, he should also bring the gas can. Sounds like the chainsaw was an empty threat.
Posted by: Elon | November 24, 2011 at 12:59 PM