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August 01, 2011


Alligators do not make good pets

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)


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They make good handbags.

NO PROBLEM. I am skeered of them thangs.
I get nervous around my wife's cat.

Clankie's got it. It's not hard to figure out proper uses for snakes.

Shoes, belts, handbags, steering wheel covers -- yes.

Pets, domestic partners, gag gifts -- no.

Hey, the blog made me read & type blurry letters to get that last post accepted. I suspect that my reference to shoes, belts, and handbags set the anti-spam sensors to buzzin' and flashin'.

Don't they all come with Florida Drivers Licenses?

They also make a wonderful Pate.

Man, you learn something new every day. Guess I'll just have to get an adorable man-eating tiger instead.

They make nice shoes.

nursecindy told me

And they're cold blooded. Make sure you have lots of hay in their gator houses for winter.

Great, the sewers will be full of these things now!

Does Ikea have an alligator habitat?

Those are great guidelines.

Can we get the Surgeon General to stamp or affix them to every reptile, like they did wih cigarettes?

Should be DUH instead of HUH

Key Quotes:
Examine your alligator thoroughly — pick it up and take a good look to make sure the belly is smooth with no parasites, and the eyes are wide open and are clean and fungus-free. Consider the animal’s general demeanor: If the reptile is lethargic and does not try to get away or make noises, you need to be suspicious.


You have to learn how to offer a completely balanced diet to your alligator without breaking any laws.

Of course, Reptiles of Concern wbagnfarb.

They do make great shoes Jeff. I'm surprised Steve hasn't mentioned that alligators, like snakes, are actually harmless animals unless they are threatened.

btw, the only way I could threaten an alligator is by saying something like, "Get out of my house right now or I'm going to have a major heart attack and it will be your fault! I mean it!"

MAA -- there's anuther gator in the house!

Give me that shovel!

Does your alligator bite?


-> OUCH!! <-

I thought you said your alligator did not bite ..?!

That is not my gator.

Very interesting comments. This is the best information i have seen on this subject. Although this is my first time posting here, i will continue to read and post anon at this a-number one brog and please fill my shorts with live crustaceans.

"please fill my shorts with live crustaceans."
mud, you been hitting the booze agin'?

Help me out here, long-time bloggers: Haven't we had "reptiles of concern" here before???

N.B. This in no way diminishes the accuracy of MOTW's comment

Reptile Dysfunction UPDATE:

After beating Wang Friday, Mets' Dickey fails Saturday

*Update UPDATE*

Dickey Injured - Comes Up Short

Sounds like mudstuffin has Crustaceans of Concern. Is that like Florence Henderson having crabs?

They also make awesome blackened gator tail. YUMMO!!

See ya later . . . well, you know.

Very interesting comments. This is the best information i have seen on this subject. Although this is my first time posting here i will bookmark this page and visit here often! I am in no way automated or abnormally fond of crustaceans.

mud was just channeling his inner spambot.

You may stop now, mud.

ok that one prompted the bot to make me copy fuzzy letters, so if i can make it do that by pretending to be a spammer...

As a kid in NYC, I lived in a apartment building that did not allow cats and dogs. There were no restrictions on reptiles, so I bought a small alligator, which was legal at the time. He liked to climb out of his tank and wander around, and I got used to my mother waking me up to get my alligator out of the bathroom or wherever. Unfortunately, I had to take him to the zoo when I went to summer camp; for some reason, they wouldn't allow me to take him with me.

Reptiles can be fascinating pets; they may not be cuddly but they do have personalities. This article is correct that alligators are not for beginners, but it is biased in favor of mammals. How about noting that lions and tigers and bears are also not for amateurs?

Compare the number of human bites between pet dogs and pet reptiles. Reptiles should be preferred hands-down. Except for snakes, of course.

'How about noting that lions and tigers and bears are also not for amateurs?'

....oh my, ralph

I like how this was thrown in casually at the end:

"Oh, and did I mention their life span is about 70 years?"

Only 70?

"Compare the number of human bites between pet dogs and pet reptiles. Reptiles should be preferred hands-down."

Ralph that was like saying fewer people are killed juggling dynamite each year than by plane crashes. So I would prefer juggling dynamite to flying.

Far fewer people come in contact with reptiles than with dogs.

Well, Nursecindy, I've personally never been threatened by any alligator I've run into. But that may be because I'm smart enough to leave well enough alone, generally.
People who have alligators, large snakes, etc. belong in a group I like to call "idiots".
p.s., I've got a number of relatively close-up pictures of venomous snakes I've met in the wild. None were ever in a strike position because I didn't crowd them and didn't give them reason to fear me. As far as I know, they're all still alive out there somewhere.

A late addition to my post above: I'm fairly safe with spiders, snakes, and others because I know what I'm dealing with. And I generally look but don't touch if there's an issue.
For those with less experience, my advice is LEAVE THEM ALONE.

I agree Steve. *SMACKS* Stuffin out of Mud.

Let the record show that the blog has addressed issues related to Reptiles of Concern on 10/10/2005, 9/16/2008, and 9/14/2009.

They're early this year. Probably global warming.

Just in case it has not been mentioned before, alligators eat dogs. A yappy dog will attract every alligator in the swamp. Keep your dog in the car around alligator habitat.

pogo: according to the American Pet Products Association, in the U.S. there are 46.3 million households with dogs, and 4.6 million with reptiles (one or more). There are over 4.7 million dog bite victims annually in the U.S., about one for each ten dog-owning households, but the number of pet reptile bites that require medical attention is not even a blip on the charts, much less the almost half a million you would expect at the same ratio as dog bites. By comparison, there are over 8,000 bites from humans annually.

If you are worried about dangerous animals, look in the mirror.

I have read that there are some crocs in some location that have learned to bark like dogs to attract them close to the shore so they can be eaten.

OK, he's staying retired, so I can tell y'all my Brett Favre story:

Some reporter asked Favre if he had dogs growing up on the Mississippi bayou. He replied, "Oh yeah, I had Skippy, Banjo, Sparky, Blackie..." and rattles off a few more dog names. The reporter said, "That seems like a lot of dogs." And Favre said, "Well, our property did go right up to the swamp..."

I suspect the low number of reported reptile bites are due to the bitee being embarrased...

That and reptiles are often in cages. Dogs aren't.

And imo, yappy dogs should live near the swamp, too. Unyappy dogs, not so much.

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