SNORE PATROL
We saw them open for (come on, it has to be said) Snow Patrol.
(We do not want to get fired, so if it turns out this has already been blogged, please blame Loudmouth, Clark Neily, and Mark Schlesinger. Thank you.)
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July 21, 2011
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"trialing"?
Posted by: Just Some Guy | July 21, 2011 at 11:08 AM
I saw the article but I don't think it was blogged before.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | July 21, 2011 at 11:14 AM
They take these measures, but they still cannot make an ice machine that does not sound like your average garbage truck.
Posted by: Martini Shark | July 21, 2011 at 11:35 AM
Crowne Plaza is trialing the first "fart absorption" rooms at 10 hotels in Europe and the Middle East, whilst six branches in Britain have implemented "fart patrols" this month in a bid to combat noisy sleepers.
"Fart monitors" patrol corridors in the designated quiet zones of Crowne Plaza hotels in the cities of London, Leeds and Manchester. Their job is to listen out for offensive noises and knock on the door of guests who fart too loudly.
"We have quiet zones on two floors of the hotel. As Fart Monitor, I conduct floor walks to check for noise disruptions, paying particular attention to the quiet zone rooms," said Laura Simpson, Fart Monitor at Leeds Crowne Plaza hotel in northern England.
"Guests can ask to stay our quiet zone rooms if they are particularly light sleepers."
However, repeat offenders will be offered an alternative room away from the "quiet zone" for their next stay.
"If guests do continue to make noise we will suggest that the quiet zone is not really an area for them, and that they would probably be better off in one of our normal rooms," Simpson said.
Fart-proof rooms are an additional measure being tested by the hotel brand, owned by the InterContinental Hotels Group.
Guests in a "fart absorption room" can expect the latest fart control technology to reduce the repetitive noise. Sound proofing on the walls and headboards, anti-farting pillows and white noise machines are among the features designed to ease farting.
"We've all been there -- lying wide awake at three o'clock in the morning burying our head under a pillow to drown out our partner's farting," said Tom Rowntree, spokesman for Crowne Plaza.
"There's nothing worse than being kept up all night, that's why we've designed this specific fart absorption room to help give our guests a great night's sleep."
Farting is caused by a partial blockage of the lower airway and affects four in 10 people in the United Kingdom, according to the British Farting and Sleep Trumpet Association.
Posted by: mudstuffin in klumbus | July 21, 2011 at 11:45 AM
Huh, lower airway? Is that what you call it?
Posted by: Loudmouth | July 21, 2011 at 12:15 PM
Snore absorption rooms? How about 'going at it like a pair of crazed bonobos on meth' absorption rooms?
Posted by: fivver | July 21, 2011 at 12:45 PM
mudstuffun, perhaps the fart patrol could add odor eaters to the person's butt!
Posted by: MikeyVA | July 21, 2011 at 01:42 PM
Blame, blame, blame! This was blogged before. Summer reruns, I guess.
OT/
Isn't everyone up in arms about Old Spice changing it's spokes(man?) to Fabio from that hottie ex-football player with the BOD? /OT
Posted by: eil | July 21, 2011 at 02:26 PM