PROBABLY GETTING READY FOR THE DRAFT

Man Arrested In Raiders Jacket, G-String

Shocking Fact: Methamphetamines may have been involved.

...Batie was found standing in the dirt next to the cemetery with a flashlight, yelling in the dark. Police said that Batie was wearing an Oakland Raiders jacket, a g-string and a hair scrunchie around his genitals. He was also wearing socks.

Wait... he was wearing socks? So what's the problem?

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

Comments

[Punkin]

I have no comment on the topic of this thread, but would like to ask my fellow bloglettes if they can recommend a good rehab for my jelly bean addiction.

I JUST CAN'T STOP!!!

[Jeff Meyerson]

I don't even want to think about who removed the hair scrunchie and how many pairs of gloves they had to wear.

They are definitely not paid enough.

[oldfatguy]

Punkin,
there is no known cure for jelly bean addiction. You are doomed to keep eating those tasty little suckers until you get so big you cannot get into the store to buy more. Thank goodness for mail order jelly bellys.

[oldfatguy]

Jeff,
Only one way I would want to remove that scrunchie, with several well placed shots from my police revolver. If I miss, hey, nobody is perfect.

[Meanie the Blue]

Do the Raiders need a Center?

[wiredog]

Punkin,
In my AA group it's often noted that the best way to get sobered up fast is to punch a cop. Maybe that works for jelly beans?

[funny man]

Amen!

Can I get a testicle I mean testify er
a testimonial?

Smile! You're on ******* Camera!

[Not My Usual Alias]

From what I see on TV, he could have been preparing to go to a Raiders game.

[Psycho_Joe]

Welcome to California, Land of the fruits and nuts.

[Loudmouth]

Some of those Jelly Bellys taste just plain gross. I cannot even identify the flavor.

[Ralph]

The easiest way to kick an addiction is to substitute another substance. Instead of jelly beans, you can try these.

[nursecindy]

Punkin, I'm a jelly bean addict also. I absolutely cannot get enough of the Life Saver jelly beans. Unfortunately I am running out of insulin so I'm going to have to slow down.

[EyeGore]

Dear Mr. Testicle Photographer. I think there is someone you should meet. Please contact the Dave Barry blog-ladies - they are interested in you photographing a Mr. Batie.

[Loudmouth]

Dressed to the 3s, high and smears crap on the walls. Now that's a house guest. From what lucky girl did he get the g-string and scrunchie?

[Wingnut]

If this guy's story doesn't deter people from taking meth they are hopeless. As I've said before, why would you take something that is going to keep you awake for 3 days? Something that will let you sleep for 3 days, now that I can see.

[nursecindy]

True story: As a prison nurse whenever a new inmate came in I had to do an intake physical on them. Part of it was asking them questions about their drug use. I was always amazed at the inmates that admitted to cocaine, marijuana, heroin, and speed use but said they would never touch meth because, in their words,"That s&%# will kill you!"

[Afkat]

Cindy:

As a young police officer I had similar experiences...except it was using drugs versus using drugs intraveneously. Many of my contacts swore that they would never inject...they pretty much all eventually succumbed.

What I found rather amazing was, after I put these guys in the pen for a couple of years, they came out like muscled greek gods. All they did inside was lift weights. And even though I was a pretty powerful guy at the time, it was sometimes a real challenge to get some of these guys under restraint.

But....six months on the street, using heroin or meth, they reverted to the skinny, powerless people that they were before they went inside...

What a pity...