MAYBE NOT DEATH. MAYBE LIFE IN PRISON. NEXT TO A REALLY CRAPPY SPEAKER THAT CAN'T BE TURNED OFF.

Dear Dave,

I have long been a supporter of your campaign against people on cell phones who SHOUT. Today I was introduced to a new group of Cell Phone Jerks while I was in a restaurant. As I was alone and didn't want to take up a table, I sat myself at the bar next to three ladies on their lunch hour. They seemed to need musical accompanyment with their meals, because one lady's cell phone that was also an mp3 player sat on the bar in front of them. It was BLARING music that could be heard even over the busy lunchtime restaurant noise. Not only were they encroaching on everyone else's personal hearing space, but the music they were playing was really, REALLY bad.

I would like you to consider "death penalty for anyone playing music via cellphone speaker in a public place" as part of your 2012 presidential campaign platform. You will be assured of my vote.

Thank you for your kind attention to this matter.

Best,
Catherine

Comments

[queensbee]

what she said.
sign me up.

[wiredog]

Gets my vote.

[David]

I think this should be a whole 'nuther thread: Dave Barry for President, help establish the campaign platform.

[Cheesewiz]

Dave:

This could be the Tsunami issue for which your campaign has waited.

[twitter.com/JugglerOfGeese]

Where do I send my campaign donation?

[oldfatguy]

This would be worth voting for Dave three times. and getting my dead uncle Larry to vote for him also.

[Loudmouth]

My fellow soundmen all decry the sorry state of music quality. People accept so little these days. Used to be studio mixes were checked with crappy little Auratone 5" speakers to see how it would sound on a car stereo. That's reference quality now. Yeeech.

[Stever]

How about asking them to turn off the music? Happened to me on a downtown bus this week. Guy in front of me playing boom-boom music for the whole world to hear. Not real loud, but certainly annoying.

After a couple of blocks I tapped him on the shoulder and asked nicely if he could please turn off the music. He protested and grumbled, but he turned it off and we had a nice quiet ride the rest of the way. A couple of people clapped for me when I got up for my stop. A small step for civility.

[Siouxie]

Sign me up too! I'll vote numerous times as is my Constitutional right as a Floridian!

Oh yeah..and

GET OFF MY LAWN!!!

[Ford79]

In cases like this, I favor the Vulcan death grip neck pinch.

[Steve]

How about restaurants that play "music" at such volume that conversation is impossible without shouting? Or movie theaters, like Regal, where the "Coming Attractions" make your butt rumble with the seat?
And PEOPLE WHO TYPE IN ALL CAPS who should at least get honorary mention for being rude.

[queensbee]

well typing in ALL CAPS is considered shouting.
they need to shut up.

[Coconuts in TX]

Playing Sequence the other night with son and fiancee, she was my partner but was texting her sister who's away at college. After the second or third text, I took her phone away. (evil MIL-to be that I am). I love her to death, but she was distracted and we LOST to the guys.

And, I'm definitely voting for Dave.

[EyeGore]

Who should be his running mate?

[Carl-Bear]

I'm not a fan of government-imposed death penalties. But if you just get this classed as assault justifying the use of lethal force in self defense, I'm in.

[Layzeeboy]

Make the penalty 5 years of listening to BM and you've got my vote.

[nursecindy]

Layzeeboy, 5 years of listening to BM and Yoko Ono. I'm in. Judi should be Dave's running mate. She could be the voice of reason. Also it would give her the opportunity to meet some really rich, single guys.

[Afkat]

Well your Daveness...as a Canadian, I am legally entitled to vote up to 12 times in a US presidential election. Take on this issue in your campaign, and you can count on all my votes.

[Chairman Kaga]

I'd like to know what cell phone this is, since usually cell phone speakers are such that you might be able to hear it over your own breathing, assuming you are standing alone in a soundproof recording studio or a government nuclear bunker.

[nursecindy]

Afkat! Long time no see. *SMACKS* Afkat. I was worried about you.

[Loudmouth]

I had a young man working for me a couple of years ago. Sometimes he would play music on his phone while doing the work I gave him. Mostly it was ticka-ta-ticka-ta-ca-chaca-ta-chaca. I think his mind made up for the fidelity that was missing. He just needed that background noise.

[Johnny Exchange]

I just took a 5 hour bus ride from Boston to New York where the entire bus had to listen to four hours of a woman saying the same thing 1,000 different ways. All of us went insane and are now facing prison for locking her in the bathroom.. Do something Dave!