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Unfortunately, our strict policy prohibits us from presenting the Jayhawk of the Week.
(Thanks to Chuck Cody)
Update: For the same reason, we are inable to present the Purchase Engineer of the Week.
Update: "Inable" is the hep new way to say "unable."
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that's fraaaahhhhhnkenstein.
Posted by: queensbee | April 17, 2011 at 01:46 PM
Vanilla Dongs' Experience - Siemens Engineer.
Of course.
BTW - Didn't The Vanilla Dong Experience open for
Jefferson Airplane?
Posted by: Punkin | April 17, 2011 at 01:49 PM
Actually, it's fraahnkenSHTEEN, des-tuh-NAY fraahnkenSHTEEN, to be precise.
Posted by: padraig | April 17, 2011 at 02:00 PM
Name change court sessions are hilarious. I highly recommend attending one soon. Dave could do a chapter on this phenom.
Posted by: manual tomato | April 17, 2011 at 02:00 PM
Slightly OT/
As a long time foster parent, let me just say that you would not believe the number of kids who come into care named Destiny, Hope, Faith or the new one - Nevaeh (Heaven spelled backwards). Either these are names popular with women who drink, or they know what a cruddy situation they're being born into and want to somehow reach out to the Universe for help.
Posted by: Punkin | April 17, 2011 at 02:08 PM
Not disagreein' with your premise @ all, Punkin' ... tho I'd add the possibility of 'em merely wantin' a little exotic romance in their lives, or partial illiteracy (e.g.: the "legend" of how Oprah got her name as only one example) leadin' to the wide variety of "interesting" names ...
Either of these conditions could be encouraged by alcohol intake, however, so your point is quite valid as a speculative rationale ...
Posted by: O the U(manity) | April 17, 2011 at 02:19 PM
Sheesh - have a little respect for your children's future, people!
Posted by: Ophelia Rass | April 17, 2011 at 02:23 PM
At least they didn't name the kid Monster.
Posted by: Clankazoid | April 17, 2011 at 02:44 PM
Bravo Punkin! I would think being a Foster Parent would be one of the hardest, and most rewarding,thing anyone could take do. Hats off to you. When I started thinking about names for my kids I would yell the name out loud to see how it sounded. I have a very difficult, long, Dutch, last name. As a result my kids all have short, easy names. Scott,Jennifer, and Amy. It just seemed unfair to stick them with a fancy first name when I knew it would take them forever to learn to spell their last name.
Posted by: nursecindy | April 17, 2011 at 03:40 PM
Punky reasserts her goddess status, as if she has to. You go girl, there is nobody in the world that impresses me more than serial foster parents. One of the sweetest girls in my son's HS class is a foster/adoptee.
Posted by: padraig | April 17, 2011 at 04:49 PM
Destiny! Destiny! No escaping Destiny!!!
Posted by: Garythorn | April 17, 2011 at 05:30 PM
Destiny could be an okay name, I guess. It is easy to spell and say.
Posted by: Elon | April 17, 2011 at 05:33 PM
On the other hand, Vanilla is such a fine first name. Mom must have been on a Baskin's bender.
Posted by: Loudmouth | April 17, 2011 at 05:53 PM
Yeah, Vanilla is terrible. Could be worse. At least it's not Pecan Ripple.
Posted by: Elon | April 17, 2011 at 06:05 PM
Wish I knew how to include links to pertinent information so I could direct everyone to the Johnny Cash classic "Boy Named Sue." Should be required listening for anyone wanting to use one of these off the wall names. Maybe the thought of your kid coming back and kicking the crap out of you as an adult would make people think a little more.
Posted by: Wingnut | April 17, 2011 at 08:46 PM
(Insert bassline from "Under Pressure" here)
Dong, Dong, baby!
Dong, Dong, baby!
Posted by: Stev0 | April 17, 2011 at 09:06 PM
Maybe that's the first thing she said when she saw her baby - "Das tiny!"
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | April 17, 2011 at 10:01 PM
o/t but... Happy Birthday, Diva!!
Posted by: nursecindy | April 17, 2011 at 11:10 PM
No, it's not frank-en-STEEN, it's now
Char-lay SHEEN!!!
Posted by: funny man | April 17, 2011 at 11:25 PM
Presenting the new pop music group, DESTINY'S DONG
and VANILLA FRANKESTEIN!
Both will be on Letterman and MTV this summer!
Posted by: funny man | April 17, 2011 at 11:27 PM
too much. I thought I read that it was around 400 pounds, but I'm not 100% sure.
Posted by: Skinny Fiber | April 18, 2011 at 05:35 AM
Inable is like 'inalienable' I guess.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | April 18, 2011 at 06:46 AM
Let's see, if Shelly Long married Vanilla would she be Shelly Long-....nah, makes too much sense.
Posted by: EyeGore | April 18, 2011 at 10:08 AM
BTW, the police spokesperson of the week can be found here:
http://www.thebaynet.com/news/index.cfm/fa/viewstory/story_ID/22132
Posted by: Brian | April 18, 2011 at 11:36 AM
And did anyone notice the "other Vanilla Dongs", including a "VP at JP Morgan"? Wow, talk about a memorable business card..
Posted by: Shankar | April 19, 2011 at 01:25 AM
I knew a woman who went by the name of Loma, all her life, because a life insurance agent could not read his own hand writing. He was supposed to have written down Norma. Once the policy was issued, the family decided to call her by the name on the policy--Loma. She was born at home with no doctor attending.
Posted by: ken in sc | April 19, 2011 at 10:59 AM