IF I HAD A HAMMER

The major thing that I wanted to receive in the way of a blessing was that something horrible would happen to our carpenter bees.

Comments

[Jeff Meyerson]

Do word association with any New Yorker and if you say "Rev. Al" the amswer will be "Sharpton" with or without adjectives added.

Glad to see this was a different one.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Rev Al is still in Fresno. He also appears to be on [email protected] Although when I clicked on a photo of him, my pc immediately became infected with the computer equivalent of carpenter bees - flashing red boxes, warning, warning, danger, Will Robinson, etc. IANMTU. Had to reboot to escape Rev Al's powerful tractor beam o' love.

[nursecindy]

Do you still have the carpenter bees?

[Annie Where-but-here]

I believe they've been replaced with Africanized honeybees....on meth.

[bonmot]

I had a carpenter bee at my house. We named it Arthur.

They're both dead now.

[Steve]

Well, obviously the necklace was intended for the bees! You WANT them to get a rash.
Although Reverend Al's help will probably be needed to get them to wear it.
Note: when my kids were small, I built them a playhouse in the back yard. One day, I was out there working and smoking a cigar. This was a habit I cultivated since I was antisocial and hated people.
I saw what appeared to be a black button on the main beam of the playhouse. Closer inspection showed the button to be moving. It was a carpenter bee in the process of destroying the treated wood.
I puffed on the cigar a couple of times, then put the glowing end to good use.
It didn't kill the bee but when he flew off, he was staggering. He must have spread the word because we had no more trouble with bees.

[Richard the Weasel-Hearted]

My Orkin guy told me I could solve my carpenter bee problem by spraying WD-40 into the holes. Seems to have worked.

There! It took over 25 years, but your prayer has been answered. Just send me the $89 and I'll send you a can.