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March 27, 2011

FIND THAT BIRD

The man said a bird recently pooped on his head, and his friends told him it was a sign of luck coming his way.

"I thought it was a load of rubbish, but when I was in a Lotto shop I had $5 left in my wallet so thought I would buy a scratchie and test my luck.

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

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Instant Kiwi - yum!

There's an old joke about the foo bird that's too long to repeat here, but the punch line is "If the foo sh!ts, wear it."

That's also a very good way to get rid of a whiner. If someone is complaining about something, tell them it's a sign of good luck coming their way. If they question you, tell them to go G00gle it. Key word - go.

Lucky Sh!T, eh?

Migrating Canadian Geese...bring it on...

He can start his new life by washing the crap off his head.

I thought you're supposed to defend yourself and leave no tern unstoned.

I was in a liquor store one day to buy a lottery ticket (really!).
The young lady ahead of me mentioned to the clerk that she was going out for the night and needed five scratch-off tickets. I laughed silently.
She spent five dollars and left the store with $135, winning on every single ticket. I came very close to asking her to buy my ticket for me.
As I got my ticket, the clerk said that the woman bought tickets every Friday and paid for her fun for the weekend.
I lost.

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