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March 07, 2011

BEAUTY PRODUCT OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Bust Up Gum

(Thanks to Kibby F5)

Comments

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And they probably sell it in vending machines next to the beer.

I'm sure Kibby came across this while searching for "breath-refreshing gum..."

gimme a sec to climb back up on the turnip truck, here...

I was impressed with this until I look up the main ingredient, puerania. It is a fancy word for kudzu. If this is true then all I have to do is go out in back yard, chew on a few leaves, then voila! There is enough kudzu in my little part of North Carolina that I could pretty much supply every one of the blog ladies, free!

"Increased Vaginal Secretion" WBAGNFA . . . nah. No it wouldn't.

Nevermind.

It probably goes without saying that you can sell just about anything if you're willing to claim it:
1) Makes you lose weight without diet or exercise
2) Enlarges one's male organ (should one have one)
3) Enlarges one's female breasts (without enlarging the rest of the female)

I'd add "will make you money" to the list but there appear to be rules about THAT kind of scam.

Well when I saw the headline I thought this was some kind of gum you could chew to help you bust up with your boyfriend/and or girlfriend. Maybe some gum with a really bad odor? Boy was I surprised.

When my ex-wife said she wanted to increase the size of her bust, I told her she should take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between her boobs a couple of times each day, and then, after a while, her boobs would be noticeably larger.

She was a little incredulous: "Do you really think that'll work?

"Worked for your ass didn't it?"

Cindy, you are aware that Harvard found that Kudzu somehow makes people drink less? Is the trade-off worth it?

It really works!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2sr4krE5Ns

Holds up Bic lighter for bon.

The ad exec should be fired!

No before and after pics to lend credence to such a claim.

Each jar comes with a free pair of 2.5 magnifying specs.

bonmot: hence the ex in the story?

Gummy Boobs.

Dubble Bubble?

Actually frodo, it was a typo, I'd used "breadth"... ;-)

I wonder what would come up if I searched the site for "Lift and Separate Gum"?

So, I chew it and they (read: ME) get the benefits? MAN! Who needs implants!?

How old is that model? 12? Give her a couple of years and that gum will probably work.

Bonmot - it worked for my ass, too. Then I divorced him.

Good one, Annie! Bravo!!! Bonmot, you're lucky, after making a remark like that, she isn't your widow.

*Tips hat to bonmot and annie*

Bazooma Joan?

Oh...I thought maybe they were supposed to chew a big wad and stick it under each mammarilliary to...you know, provide "lift".

Probably work better used that way.

And....mega *snork* @bon....

Sounds safer than cutting open your chest and inserting foreign objects.

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