APPEARING SOON ON THE APPRENTICE
Poisonous Egyptian cobra escapes Bronx Zoo
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Tash)
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March 27, 2011
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Not to worry - it won't get on foot, and it is unarmed.
*scoots a little further West just to be safe*
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | March 27, 2011 at 06:49 PM
*flings 'far' up to previous post*
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | March 27, 2011 at 06:50 PM
There are probably lots of jokes about what a poisonous cobra can do in NY, but I can't think of any. Also, isn't poisonous cobra redundant? Are there any non-poisonous cobras.
Posted by: Elon | March 27, 2011 at 06:51 PM
If it can make it to the Capitol in DC, it'll fit right in.
Posted by: Phil | March 27, 2011 at 07:02 PM
It's young and doesn't know its way around. They'll find it when it stops to asp for directions.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | March 27, 2011 at 07:02 PM
To be safe, I think New York should be evacuated.
Posted by: nursecindy | March 27, 2011 at 07:31 PM
Good point, cindy. We'll start by sending The Bronx to you.
Latest update: as of this evening they still haven't found it and aren't letting zoogoers into the snake area.
Maybe they should call in this guy.
Or does anyone on the blog speak parseltongue?
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | March 27, 2011 at 07:47 PM
Yikes! for the Bronx.. Egyptian cobras are aggressive.. hopefully it will be too cold there right now
Posted by: EB | March 27, 2011 at 08:08 PM
Think about it: You're a cobra in New York city in March. Wherever he is now, he's headed south. Anyone tries to stop him better be wearing some snake proof chaps.
Posted by: Wingnut | March 27, 2011 at 09:17 PM
First New York rat he meets, he's toast.
Posted by: Clankazoid | March 27, 2011 at 09:27 PM
... or the pigeons will peck him to death.
Posted by: Clankazoid | March 27, 2011 at 09:28 PM
He's just riding around with on the subway, drinking Night Train and peeing in the corners.
Posted by: Loudmouth | March 27, 2011 at 09:55 PM
Hopefully the snake ends up in Trumps shorts thus nipping his presidential bid in the "buds".
Posted by: P.Birkett | March 27, 2011 at 10:42 PM
I don't get why they locked the snake house. How's he supposed to get back in?
Posted by: Tash | March 27, 2011 at 11:07 PM
Excellent point, Tash. Jeff, I'll take the 5th Avenue crowd. Let's send The Bronx to Florida.
Posted by: nursecindy | March 27, 2011 at 11:17 PM
Nice media suggestion, Dave, but The Donald just fired a snake tonight. Might be kind of repe- (or reptile) titious
Posted by: Betsy | March 27, 2011 at 11:58 PM
Tough neighborhood. I went to college a few blocks from there. Got attacked by a squirrel. IANMTU. Stay safe, widdle snakey.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | March 28, 2011 at 12:32 AM
I'd say something about reptile dysfunction again, but it's more like a case of zoo dysfunction. By now, they should have sent in the mongooses, but the paperwork required may take a few weeks. 911 can look forward to reports of loose cobras all over the city, most of which will turn out to be broken radiator hoses, escaped slinkies, etc. The snake will head for someplace warm, like Miami.
Posted by: Ralph | March 28, 2011 at 02:47 AM
Where the hell is Rikki-tikki-tavi?
Posted by: djtonyb | March 28, 2011 at 03:11 AM
Check the Yankee clubhouse.
Posted by: Cheesewiz | March 28, 2011 at 11:21 AM
S'ok, cindy. Florida has enough Noo Yawkers thankyouverymucho!
Posted by: Siouxie | March 28, 2011 at 12:00 PM
*smacks Cheesewiz with World Series trophy*
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | March 28, 2011 at 12:40 PM
Update, as of Monday evening: still missing.
They said it could hide out for weeks but are afraid it might "pounce" on someone sooner.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | March 28, 2011 at 06:14 PM
He's 20 INCHES long. Yes, he's venomous (not poisonous) but let's get real, he's scared to death.
No one is going to die except, possibly, the snake.
I've faced much larger Eastern Diamondbacks and I guarantee they were more scared than I was.
Both of us, however, were cautious.
Posted by: Steve | March 28, 2011 at 07:50 PM
What's with the spammers who make me think of shadowy men sitting in the dark in front of their computers, fondling themselves?
Posted by: Steve | March 29, 2011 at 11:58 AM