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February 18, 2011

STREET VALUE: NEARLY EIGHT DOLLARS

Cousins busted with carload of stolen beef jerky

(Thanks to Drew Smith)

WHAT WAS THE FIRST CLUE?

When officers arrived they found the 23-year-old man stumbling around on the balcony with his pants around his ankles and urinating onto the woman’s lawn, Ducker said.

It didn’t take long for the officers to realize the man was very drunk.

(Thanks to The Perts)

WHEN GUYS BECOME DADS

Pimp My Pram

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

THEY WON'T GET FAR WITHOUT ORGAN MUSIC

Drunk drivers steal Zamboni

(Thanks to Ralph)

NEIGH

Horse semen on the menu at N.Z. food festival

(Thanks to [appropriately enough] Ralph, and Jeff Meyerson)

TRAGICALLY, THIS TURNS OUT NOT TO BE AN ITEM ABOUT JUSTIN BIEBER

Japan may send chatty humanoid tweet-bot to space

(Thanks to Chris Elzi)

DO THEY MAKE JOCKSTRAPS THAT SMALL?

Squirrels need supporters

(Thanks to John)

NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT

Mexican brewery unveils first gay beer

(Thanks to Gregg in Austin)

CRAIGSLIST: YOUR ONE-STOP SOURCE FOR EARTHWORMS

From California, of course:

Last night I spent more than 5 hours and saved over 500 worms from drowning, dehydrating or getting run over - all meaningless deaths.
Without worms, there would be no fruit, vegetables, flowers, trees - life.
Not to be used as fishing bait.

(Thanks to Susannah Nation)

TALK ABOUT ABOVE AND BEYOND THE CALL OF DUTY

Baltimore issues over 2,000 red light camera tickets with dead officer's signature

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WE DON'T SEE HOW THIS COULD FAIL

Students took to the streets, with the promise of free beer and chips, and dozens stripped to their underwear.... Organisers hoped the events would boost efforts to break the political impasse.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

THIS IS TOO EASY

A clown who won a seat in Brazil's Congress by a landslide has stayed true to his former profession by accidentally messing up his first vote.A clown who won a seat in Brazil's Congress by a landslide has stayed true to his former profession by accidentally messing up his first vote.

(Thanks to queensbee)

February 17, 2011

COME ON, PEOPLE

We're getting our butts kicked by Moldova.

20110219_WOM582
(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

ART UPDATE

RoboCop wins: Group raises $50k for Detroit statue

YES, WE ALREADY POSTED THIS STORY

But not this particular headline.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

BAD DOG

After the stop, the driver explained to Sgt. Terrel that as he was being pulled over, he tried to stash the sock.His pit bull mix dog grabbed the sock and wouldn't let go, enjoying the tug-of-war game. The dog won, tossing the sock out the window.

(Thanks to jon harris)

WHO SAYS GUYS CAN'T MAKE COMMITMENTS?

But as the car sank to the bottom, proud Fu refused to leave and trod water for an hour before the fire brigade arrived with a crane.

'I love my car and I knew that if they didn't have to rescue me they'd leave it to rust on the river bed,' explained Fu.

(Thanks to Jeff "Fu" Meyerson)

WHAT DAD WANTS FOR FATHER'S DAY

Dad wants a motor sofa.

Article-1297854730156-0D33F077000005DC-167147_635x348

 

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Road officials who built a wall across a 70mph motorway at night without warning motorists are being sued by crash victims.

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(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

IT WAS FENCING THE MERCHANDISE WITH THE SQUIRRELS

A THIEVING cat has been caught on camera, stealing over 600 items from neighbours' homes in a California town, reports said today.

(Thanks to Ralph)

IN RETURN, SHE RECEIVED FOUR MICE AND A DOZEN COCKROACHES

An angry Polish housewife slapped a rat on the desk of a town hall official who refused to accept that she had a pest problem.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR HENDRIX

Carnivorous Bladderworts

(Thanks to Warren Anderson)

February 16, 2011

PROOF THAT THE GERMAN GOVERNMENT HAS NEVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE

German government proposes legislation to protect children's right to make noise

(Thanks to The Perts)

SMILE!

You're on the Asscam.

(Thanks to jon harris)

SEND IT TO WASHINGTON

Swan stalking shoppers in downtown Wareham

The swan loiters in front of a liquor store and a bank, hissing at customers and harassing them as they try to do business.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

THE MEAN STREETS OF NEBRASKA

Lincoln police officer detains pot-bellied pig

(Thanks to Steve Bradford)

BEDTIME STORY OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Peter Rabbit: Tank Killer

(Thanks to Carl-Bear)

EMAILS YOU KNOW YOU ARE NOT GOING TO CONTINUE READING

(From the Cherry Marketing Institute:) Hello again--Just a quick follow-up regarding the information I sent you about tart cherries.

DEPARTMENT OF STORIES YOU KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO CONTINUE READING

A Florida woman upset that a visitor to her child’s school was showing too much cleavage was arrested yesterday morning after she allegedly took matters into her own hands, literally.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

UPDATE: PETER AND THE STARCATCHER OFF-BROADWAY

Some background on the folks who are doing it.

SOON WE WILL HAVE NO FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHTS LEFT

French police say they have arrested a 63-year-old woman who was leading her 40-year-old companion along a busy shopping street by a leash attached to his exposed penis.

(Thanks to RussellMc)

PASS THE PRINGLES

Junk food makes woman have orgasms

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

LUNCH MONEY

Several Volusia County Sheriff's deputies were called out to Timbercrest Elementary School Tuesday morning after a school official noticed a student was holding what seemed to be a $1 million bill.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

AND THEN IT WILL FIND YOU A DATE

NEW YORK (AP) -- Health officials have released a mobile phone application to help New Yorkers find free condoms.

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger)

MEANWHILE IN SPORTS

A Vermont woman has been crowned the nation's top grocery bagger.

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger)

THIS ALSO HAPPENED TO MICHELANGELO

Robocop statue plan nixed by Detroit mayor

(Thanks to Steve Huete)

YIKES

Crab Kong

Article-1297848850976-0D33FD71000005DC-901597_466x343
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

SOUNDS LIKE A CARELESS SHAVER

Doctors in China examined a patient complaining of headaches and a bad taste in his mouth - and found a 4ins blade buried in his face.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

THE ISSUE IN CHINA:

Goldfish rights.

(Thanks to Kibby F5)

CREEPING FASCISM IN CANADA

Now they want to take away a man's right to have a pirate ship in his backyard.

(Thanks to The Perts)

ADVISORY

Man bags could cause health problems, chiropractors warn

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

February 15, 2011

CHECK OUT THOSE DUMPLINGS

A nude cooking show is set to launch this month on the adult channels in Hong Kong.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

ATTENTION, CHARLIE SHEEN

Colombian military seizes 100-foot drug sub capable of holding 8 tons of cocaine

(Thanks to Loudmouth)

WE WONDER HOW HE REACTS TO COPACABANA

Suit claims boss’ voice makes NY man vomit

(Thanks to queensbee)

THE MOST POWERFUL FORCE ON EARTH:

Vodka.

Do not miss the video.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

TIME TO DISINFECT

Number of Playboy Mansion Outbreak Victims Climbs to 170

(Thanks to funny man)

A GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND

Do-It-Yourself Paternity Tests Now Available In New York

(Thanks to Phil B., who asks: "Could this be the end of the Maury Povich show?")

WE'VE ASKED OURSELVES THIS QUESTION A THOUSAND TIMES

What would have happened if the Nazis escaped to the Moon after World War II?

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

DUDE, WHERE'S MY ROOF?

Explosion Blows Lid Off Broward Grow House

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger)

SHE WON'T GET FAR ON FOOT

400-pound woman caught shoplifting when motorized cart gets stuck at Rochester Hills Meijer ... police use Taser to subdue her

(Thanks to Loudmouth and Mark Schlesinger)

 
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