INCREDIBLY, THIS HEADLINE IS NOT FROM THE ONION
Drunk driver excited to see breath test score
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
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January 31, 2011
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Maybe it was a personal record.
Posted by: markhh | January 31, 2011 at 12:16 PM
“I'm excited to see what I blow,” she said
- which leads into the next headline:
'Man sucker punches roommate'
my, my - someone's had a busy day
Posted by: sandy | January 31, 2011 at 12:16 PM
Guys, maybe she's single...
Posted by: Coconuts | January 31, 2011 at 12:26 PM
Well, she passed the test. High score?
Posted by: wiredog | January 31, 2011 at 12:38 PM
She wanted to see if it was as high as her IQ.
Posted by: Braniff | January 31, 2011 at 01:00 PM
She was, however, surprised to learn that the test involved exhaling, not inhaling.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | January 31, 2011 at 01:08 PM
or blowing, not sucking...
whut?
Posted by: Siouxie | January 31, 2011 at 01:15 PM
Auditioning for Cops?
Posted by: Steve | January 31, 2011 at 01:16 PM
Lindsay Lohan and Sean Penn live in Summit ?
Posted by: Clankazoid | January 31, 2011 at 01:29 PM
*snork* @ siouxie...
♫ 'She goes in and out & in and out & in and out & in and out...
Cause' she's playing all night
And the music's all right
MamaSiouxie's got asqueezewine boxDaddy never sleeps at night'
;P
Posted by: sandy | January 31, 2011 at 01:48 PM
Here's the soundtrack from the video:
"I won! I won! Woo hoo!"
*flop* *bounce* *skid* *crumple*
Posted by: padraig | January 31, 2011 at 02:38 PM
That's a scary town. I saw a notice for "Boy Scout Troop 187" on the sidebar. What do you have to do to join, pop a cap on a crosstown Campfire Girl?
Posted by: padraig | January 31, 2011 at 02:42 PM
This blonde chick walks up to a coke machine, fishes a few quarters out of her purse, slots them into the machine, and "ka-chunk kunk clunk!" a coke (doesn't matter what flavor) comes out the bottom. (The "of" in that sentence is intentionally left out because ahm writin' in Suthin, y'all.)
"Whooo-Hoooo!" exclaims the blonde.
She fishes more quarters out of her purse and slots them home.
"Ka-chunk kunk clunk!" Another coke comes out the bottom.
"Yeeeeee-Hawwwwwww!" yells the blonde.
This goes on a few more times, until the guy waiting behind her says "C'mon, lady. What are you doing?!"
She turns and says "DUU-uuh! I'm WINN-ing!"
Posted by: bonmot | January 31, 2011 at 03:03 PM
Good one, bonmot. She was probably excited because it was the highest she had ever scored on any test. Including her SAT's.
Posted by: nursecindy | January 31, 2011 at 03:16 PM
*adds to resume* - "High test scores!"
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 31, 2011 at 04:29 PM
“I'm excited to see what I blow,” she said as deputies put her in the patrol car.
So were the deputies.
Ca-ching!
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | January 31, 2011 at 04:32 PM
Grandma?
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | January 31, 2011 at 04:33 PM
It's like golf honey, not basketball.
Posted by: Loudmouth | January 31, 2011 at 04:52 PM
I wuz mildly intrigued to notice that the sucker puncher (boy, THAT'S a loaded phrase ... go ahead, use it ... I'm done with it ... ) and his roommate have a very primitive abode ... no floor, apparently, becuz one pinned the other "to the ground" ... but they din't go outdoors durin' the fight ... unless ... sloppy journalism?
Nah ... couldn't happen ...
Posted by: O the U(manity) | January 31, 2011 at 05:37 PM
I'm excited to see what I blow.
I'm pretty sure that's a line from a movie I saw on pay per view last week.
Posted by: Wingnut | January 31, 2011 at 06:32 PM
Thar she blows!
Posted by: sandy | January 31, 2011 at 06:45 PM