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December 13, 2010

YOU ARE NOW FREE TO TAKE A SHOWER

Aussie pilot lands in huge pile of chicken manure

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

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How big are those chickens?!

Having piloted in questionable conditions, I can testify that there are times when you would thank Providence for a nice, safe, pile of manure.

Flew the cpoop?

Crapduster?

Send them to Congress...oh wait, they're already there.

First you say it. Then you do it. Then you land in it.

must've left some fowl skidmarks

The pilot then went off to change his clothes, asking: "How do I get out of this chickensh*t outfit?"

Crikey

> snork! < @ Annie!

Great journalism. Pullet surprise material.

What kind of day are you having when you crash into a pile of chicken manure and are grateful for it?

if that didn't soften his landing, wingnut, i guess he would've been in 'Deepa sh!t'

This is an old joke and will take too much space but what the hell: A farmer goes out to feed his livestock on a morning when the temperature was well below freezing. In his feedlot he finds a little bird that looks to be near death and while he wants to help it, he has too much to do wants to get out of the cold himself. He notices a steaming pile of cow manure and takes the little bird and buries it so only it's head is sticking out. After a while the little bird starts feeling better. It starts moving a little and eventually bursts into song, singing and flapping it's wings, grateful that the farmer's quick thinking saved it's life. About this time the barn cat hears the noise, sees and easy meal and snatches the little bird and eats it. The moral of the story, being up to your head in sh!t isn't necesarily bad, but it's nothing to sing about either.

"I love baskin' robins."

Punchline to a great joke.

There are no new jokes. There are just old jokes you haven't heard yet.

All my friends know my jokes. We don't even say punchlines anymore. We just throw out numbers.

A few weeks ago, some buddies and I were at a bar, throwing out the numbers. "Hey, we haven't heard 42 in a while." That brought some snickers.

"Seventeen!" another buddy replied. That drew a few guffaws.

The bartendner came over and asked what we were doing. We explained. Then the bartender said, "Can I try?" "Sure. Go for it."

"Twenty-three!"

No one laughed.

"What's the matter?" asked the bartender.

"Obviously, you don't know how to tell a joke."


I'm not sure of the Oprah connection, but she is in Australia and ...

Well, Oprah was coming so they moved the tourist attraction "Pile o' Manure" closer to the runway so she could see it better; then this guy goes and ruins the whole pile o' s***. I'm sure the Tourist Bored will be after him soon.

Pilot: " I meant to do that. "

I was flying a 172 over Paintsville KY one very windy day. There were some violent up and down-drafts.
Suddenly, everything that wasn't tied down just rose up into the air. I heard a loud "WHANG" and saw stars. Even strapped in, my head had hit the ceiling when I hit a severe down-draft.
I headed back to the airport but I did wonder what it would be like hitting another draft like that on the approach.
Yeah, I would have liked something soft to land in that day.
(It's a secret, but I lived through the landing).

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