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December 28, 2010


A 65-year-old Florida man called Florida cops on Christmas Eve to report that an unknown perpetrator had repositioned plastic lawn reindeer so that the holiday decorations appeared in a “compromising position, because one was male and the other female.”

(Thanks to Allen at Division)


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Well the phrase "Get off my lawn", accompanied by the brandishment of a .357 magnum comes to mind, but I hardly think that the re-positioning of a couple of fake reindeers and the moving of a lawn chair gets anywhere close to reaching that point.

But perhaps that is just me...

bwaaahhhhhhhhaaaa. get off the lawn! POW!

What position was it? Siouxie wants to know.

I had no idea there were male and female plastic reindeer. Of course I've never looked either.

Rein in the your deer.

Wait until the plastic flamingos figure it out.


As a medical professional, you have a duty to at least peek.

When I was younger, in the RCMP, and a bit of a hunk, I was hospitalized after being wounded.

Coming out of the anasthetic, I awoke to two delightful young nurses having lifted the sheet to inspect my "package".

Actually, I was quite flattered....heh..

Oh, and by the way, I damn near married one of those nurses ...heh...

The next day they were found lying on the lawn smoking cigarettes.

That's right what number position was it. Too funny.


You are always too, too funny....what I said was a true storey, but your editorial comment made it much better.

Afkat, I had a similar instance when I was sixteen, almost seventeen.
I had been seriously injured in a car wreck and had to have a cast from left hip to ankle. For some reason, the doctor decided that this should be done with me "standing", i.e., held up by assorted nurses wearing only what remained of my skin. Road rash had torn my clothes off in the wreck and one certain part of my male anatomy had been slightly abraded and was swollen.
Almost all of the nurses were teenage candy-stripers, if that term is still used.
I kept nearly passing out from my injuries. But I do remember an awful lot of giggling and whispers.
I THINK it was complimentary.

In order to do a complete physical assessment we have to look at your 'packages'. Sometimes we have to look at them more than once. It's a medical thing. We take an oath for heaven's sake!

Didn't the Simulated Reindeer Fornicators open for ZZ Topp in San Francisco in 1972??

Cindy...sweetie...I will go to my grave defending your right to accomplish your duties in accordance with your medical oath.

But I am still flattered.

Thank you Afkat. I have actually assessed some packages 20 or 30 times more than once to make sure the patient is okay. It's a tough job but someone has to do it.

Awww Cindy...you are a good sport...you are one of the reasons I like coming here.

Would the person have called the police if they were the same sex reindeer? NTTAWWT

My folks so wanted me to be a nurse. I should have listened ...

In Florida they call the cops. In L.A., they call Fox News to report another case of moral degeneracy.

Oops, wrong city. The reindeer must have flown north since I read about it.

Simulated Reindeer Fornication - was that the Baldwin brothers or Adam Sandler? Probably the latter.

Ralph, you had it right - I saw the same story in the LA Times. And we had the same thing done to my deer a few years ago - in fact, every set of deer in the neighborhood was 'making merry.'

Of course, my 8-year-old noticed it first as we were leaving for school -
"Mom, why is that reindeer on the other reindeer's back?"
"They're playing reindeer games.(changing subject) Did you make your bed?"

Meanie, was your 11:22 comment about the reindeer or Afkat and the nurse? I think Afkat thinks it was about him, which is fine but not quite as amusing as smoking reindeer.

If that guy lived in my neighborhood, I would buy my own decorations of various species, including elves, and occasionally decorate his lawn myself. Just to piss him off. And yes, I'm close to his age.

DesertAl - I hope someone does exactly, in the spirit of the season. Wink, wink.

A couple of years ago, one of the inflatable decorations lost air and looked like the reindeer was doing the euphemism with the chimney. Our version of the Grizwolds was around the corner, so the incident received a lot of traffic.

Afkat made my day. Thank you. I have to ask though about this story. Are these the Reindeer Games that Rudolph wasn't allowed to participate in? This is exactly why I only put a wreath on the door.

A wreath is a birth-control measure? Hu gnu?

Heck, I dunno why this guy is surprised about the "behavior" of the deer ... he should've expected it when he put up that sign on his lawn that said, "FINE FOR LITTERING" ...

LOL at reindeer games, good one Annie.

Steve, it seems like you've been almost killed several times.

Good point, KrisL - I bet that guy who signs in as "There Are Too Many Steves" is trying to kill one.

I'm not telling.

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