THEY WON'T GET FAR ON FOOT

Women accused of hiding merchandise in body fat

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

Comments

[Beckster]

How big were these girls' boobs!!!!???

[tw]

I'm almost afraid to ask this...but how could they possibly hide all that stuff in their body fat???

[Annie Where-but-here]

They won't get far on foot, butt they got pretty far on cankles.

"Next week, on 'Hoarders'...."

[queensbee]

these were some fat chicks i guess. yikes.

[Punkin Poo]

I've had to do EKG's on well endowed women, and I've had to hoist up a few fat-bags to apply the little sticky thingies that the lead wires attach to. You'd be amazed (and grossed out) at what I've found under there.

[Bernard Scooper]

After the stolen items end their usefulness as evidence, they will become merchandise once again. For the sake of your health (trans fat intake)and sanity, avoid the clearance rack.

[nursecindy]

How on earth do you put one pair of boots under your boobs much less four? I really hope T.J. Maxx either threw this stuff away or cleaned it really, really well.

[Jeff Meyerson]

TMI, Punkin. Same goes for the article. ewww

They say they took four pair of boots, three pair of jeans, a wallet and gloves; $2,600 worth of store merchandise.

How big were they?

[bonmot]

Yo momma SO fat . . .

[mudstuffin]

ailene? shmeco? what choice did they have but a life of crime.

[sandy]

Headline: Women accused of hiding merchandise in body fat

Snoop Dog: 'Womizzle accusizzle of hizzle mizzle in body fizzle'

fo' shizzle

[sandy]

oh, & i hope the cops checkizzled their boot-ays

[bonmot]

Roll 'em in flour and look for the wet spot!

[OC Dolphin]

Let's face it. Some folks have so much in excess that they could continue past T.J. Maxx, right next door to the car dealership, and hide a Yukon off the showroom.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Punkin, that will probably be their defense. "Why, officer, I had NO IDEA anything was in there!"

[Annie Where-but-here]

A literal, human Katamari Damacy.

[Annie Where-but-here]

*smacks bonmot*

Somehow you deserved that. Plus my hands are cold and I gotta warm them up.

[eil]

bonmot, I think it's "roll them in flour and look for the price tags." And I deserve a *SMACK* for saying that...

[Wingnut]

MUST LEARN NOT TO CLICK ON LINKS
Dammit Dave, put a warning on these things.

[nursecindy]

*SMACKS* bonmot because he deserves it. *SMACKS* eil because he asked for it.

[O the U(manity)]

Dang. All the good stuff has already been taken ...

The JOKES! Wadju tink I ment?

[queensbee]

it does make you wonder what else they might have stuffed in there, wherever in there is.

[Annie Where-but-here]

TSA nightmare.

[Loudmouth]

Probably some serious cheese in the crevices. Just throw the stuff away. Schmeco?? Did they run out of pseudo-African names. It was probably Shamica or something like that.

[hogsatemysister]

I would pay good money to watch the Butt Sisters go through an enhanced pat down, though screeners might lose a limb in the process. Also reminds me of one of Dave's old columns explaining that Aretha could get a backhoe in her cleavage...

[hogsatemysister]

And did the search unearth Julian Assange, Jimmy Hoffa or Aretha's backhoe?

[eil]

eil is all girl! *hairflip* And cindy, OWWW!

[SharonCville]

You know, I'm a pretty big gal myself, but I am seriously impressed at 4 pairs of boots AND 3 pairs of jeans! I don't think I could conceal one pair of either. I'm not sure how I feel about that... relieved, and yet, somehow, inadequate?