HEY, WHAT'S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?

Report: Nuclear weapon drivers sometimes got drunk

(Thanks to qsman and Horace LaBadie)

Comments

[Horace LaBadie]

Well, if you are going to let Slim Pickens drive, that's what you should expect.

"Show me your hands, and step out of the missile."

[Meanie the Blue]

Keys, keys ... where are those keys.....?

[Wes S.]

Gosh, I guess that explains the recent plague we've had of drunk-driving semi wrecks going up in megaton-range nuclear fireballs. Oh, wait:

"'The report said that two incidents in particular raised red flags because they happened during 'secure transportation missions' while agents checked into local hotels during extended missions, and the vehicles were placed in 'safe harbor.'"

Unbelievable. A couple drivers knocked back a few drinks while overnighting at a hotel while the trucks and their cargo were parked and heavily secured.

Which would explain the headline, I suppose, because "Nuclear weapons drivers sometimes drive with hangovers and grouchy moods" isn't quite as sensationalist, attention-grabbing and panic-inducing. Or bring Slim "Yee-haw!" Pickens to mind.

Yeah, the two guys who got so drunk and stupid the cops were called probably need to find alternative employment and maybe some alcohol counseling. But does this rise to the DEFCON ONE level of "Ohmigod!" the author of this piece is striving for?

[Annie Where-but-here]

They should hire moms to drive this stuff. We're used to having ticking time-bombs in the backseat -
"Mom, I have to pee!!!"
"Mom, make her stop looking at me!!!"
"Mom, Billy snuck his frog in the car and now he can't find it!"

[nursecindy]

So true, Annie.

[OC Dolphin]

When these guys get bombed, they get, well...

[bonmot]

Annie's familiar with Carmageddon.

[Meanie the Blue]

Do NOT do mushrooms with these guys.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Good point, Horace.

"Survival kit contents check. In them you'll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days' concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff."

[EB]

If you think that is scary, you should make a trip to Minot, ND near the AFB. Remember when they flew with 4 armed nuclear weapons to LA??? No one noticed until they got there!!

Musta been one of of Dave's "alcohol may have been involved" events...

[Wingnut]

Don't know about the rest of you, but if you expect me to drive around with a nuclear weapon strapped to the truck I might need a shot of something to calm the nerves. Or two.

[nursecindy]

Wingnut, I'm not much of a drinker but I totally agree with you. EB, as a former Air Force brat let me be the first to say we always prayed that the powers that be never transferred us to Minot AFB. In fact I remember a neighbor crying to my mother one day because they had been transferred there. My dad was stationed at Eglin AFB and we had a bomb 'drill' one day while I was at school on base. My mom came running up and grabbed me and took me home. I was only about 7 years old. I found out later the 'drill' was called because a bomb had rolled off a plane onto the airstrip next to our school. Good times.

[KrisL]

I think I heard on the news that the problem was they could get called back to duty, at which point, it would be a problem.

[Loudmouth]

DIY Chernobyl kit.

[Ralph]

The Republicans don't want to ratify START because they don't trust the Russians.

However, as Pogo said, "We have met the enemy, and he is us."