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October 24, 2010

RETAIL UPDATE

Sears has been taken over by zombies.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

Comments

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I have no fear of zombies. I've seen a government office in the middle of the day.

Nice job!

Wow--Thanks for the warning--I have to buy a dryer tomorrow. Maybe I'll drive the extra 8 miles to Home Depot.

But let me tell you 'bout the way they look
The way they limp and the dead flesh of their ears
Their hair is matted red
Their eyes are dark and dull
'Cos they're at Sears

If I do decide to buy at Sears, they must not deliver to my home. Folks in my neighborhood would shoot them deader than dead.

The word for "Female" is apparently the same as the word for "Gender". Not sure what the sociolinguistic implications of that are, but no doubt DancesWithVowels can enlighten us.

Apparently they still have enough brains left to write website code. :)

Brilliant!

They are hiring zombies at Kmart, which Sears owns.

The have a new, very strict policy for management,
however: BRAINS NOT ALLOWED.

They don't want to encourge eating or snacking while on the clock.

I know this for a fact because a manager at a local
Kmart accused me of "manufacturing" an online coupon. I was very upset and contacted both the
coupon webmanager and Sears corporate.


(But won't the NO BRAINS policy just make them view customers as easy meals, just like every hungry corporation does?)

On the other hand you may get better customer service from the zombies.

When I tried to navigate the site, it said
"Webpage has expired"

So do I wait here in the cemetery until it Returns? or what?

I had to open the site in Safari, FireFox must scare away the zombies.

My best coupon story: They had a web-based coupon. I printed it out and took it in. The manager said "Sorry, that's not the original coupon, it is a copy. You must bring in the original."

He failed to understand when I asked him how I could "bring in" the Internet...

As some have said, if you pay pints of blood, you get zombies. (If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.)

Yeti another odd Sears item.

Night shift workers wanted, all positions. Neurosurgical experience a plus.

Big deal. Walmart does that year round.

I have never, ever understood Sears' merchandising or marketing strategies. And now I don't understand them even better.

P.S. Pirateboy...My local Border's, on the other hand, couldn't determine from their database whether or not I was entitled to a coupon, but said if I could access my email from my cellphone, and show them the pertinent email, they could xerox the phone and give me the discount.

like the sears workers, she must've been deadicated

Who cadaver have imagined it would come to this?

Was he named after a popular pair of woman's boots?

Looks pretty much like the kids wandering around our mall on a Saturday night.

Looks like another event to raise money for brain trauma.

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