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September 30, 2010
WAIT... SO THERE'S A RIGHT CAR?
Man gets probation in wrong-car defecation
Key Quote: "This is your car?" Purifoy said before bolting the scene, according to documents filed in court. "I thought this was Desiree's car."
(Thanks to Chuck Cody)
BECAUSE WE, AS A PEOPLE, ARE NOT PORKY ENOUGH ALREADY
Domino's Unveils Breakfast Pizza
(Thanks to Chuck Cody)
REMINDS US OF COLLEGE
Duo 'got to drinking,' ran naked past tigers
(Thanks to Lisa Stokely)
FORGET THE SEGWAY
JERSEY CITY
THE SECRET TO IMMORTALITY
(Thanks to Ralph)
September 29, 2010
AS IF WE HAVEN'T ALL DONE EXACTLY THE SAME THING
AND THE SO-CALLED 'DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE' DOES NOTHING
(Thanks to Mark Schlesigner)
BUT HE STILL HAS NO VISITORS
YOUTH SPORTS: TEACHING IMPORTANT LIFE LESSONS
Panic Erupts At Youth Football Practice When Cop Shoots Rabid Raccoon
(Thanks to Chuck Cody)
APOCALYPSE UPDATE
(Thanks to Chuck Cody)
NO WORD ON THE FRENCH RESPONSE
Ireland Hunting Down Thousands of Escaped Minks
(Thanks to The Perts)
TODAY'S CULINARY UPDATE
You do not want to see Today's Culinary Update.
(Thanks to Amanda)
PROOF THAT UNIVERSITY RESEARCH TAKES PLACE ON MARS
(Thanks to Allen at Division and Matt Filar)
CANADA
Key Quote: “How am I going to celebrate? I’m going to spank some ass,” Bedford, cracking a riding whip, told reporters.
(Thanks to Allen at Division)
A GIANT BURRRPPP FOR MANKIND
Space beer headed for zero-gravity bar
(Thanks to Allen at Divison)
ATTENTION, LADIES:
NEXT: JON HAMM
Artist Makes Kevin Bacon Statue Out of Bacon
(Thanks to Allen at Division)
WE BET
Giant beaver inspires new Loveland brewery's name
(Thanks to sandy)
ALSO THIS GUY
SEND HIM, TOO
SEND THEM TO WASHINGTON
Monkeys on security duty at Commonwealth Games
(Thanks to The Perts)
STAND TALL, AMERICA
Once again we have the World's Fastest Lawnmower.
(Thanks to Michael Klees)
September 28, 2010
SQUIRREL TERRORISM UPDATE
Squirrel blamed for massive blast that destroyed a home and injured several firefighters
(Thanks to funny man)
FUN GAL
A sensitive customer gets a tattoo.
(Thanks to Brian Duval)
IN ILLINOIS, THEY CAN ALSO VOTE DEAD
"Voting is so easy you can literally vote naked in the privacy of your own home," says Kevin Hauswirth, Director of Advertising and Promotions at Roosevelt University, who's helping to promote Vote Naked Illinois.
(Thanks to bonmot)
ADVISORY TO GUESTS AT THE VDARA HOTEL
Key excerpt: Then he smelled an odor, and realized it was coming from his head...
JUST FOLLOWING THE TELEPROMPTER
Woman picks nose during CBS news broadcast
(Thanks to Suzie Q. Wacvet)
MINNIE WILL NOT BE PLEASED
WE ARE SO DARNED PROUD
Cosmetic surgeons may be worrying about business dropping due to the recession, but one Miami-based surgeon is actually pinning his hopes on the market ‘bottoming’ out.
His name is Constantino Mendieta and he’s the inventor of the Miami Thong Lift, the latest way to a shapelier rear view, which was presented this week at the conference of British Aesthetic and Plastic surgeons (BAAPS) in London.
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
THE DOWNSIDE: YOU CAN NEVER BE EXPOSED TO SUNLIGHT AGAIN
'Vampire facelift' uses patients' own blood
(Thanks to The Perts)
September 27, 2010
BASICALLY IT'S AN IQ TEST WITH ACTUAL CONSEQUENCES
Of course, when the men came calling for the cash, station brass explained that the offer was a practical joke, just a wacky radio stunt.
IMAGINE TRYING TO EXPLAIN THIS TO SOMEBODY IN 1983
New Twitter worm creates goat sex tweets
(Thanks to jon harris)
CSI: HALLOWEEN
Cattaraugus County man accused of stealing 130 pumpkins
(Thanks to Patrick McNelis)
WE IMAGINE THAT'S A RELIEF FOR THE SCHOOLS CHIEF
Schools chief Lackey stays on in Franklin County
(Thanks to jon harris)
NOW WITH ADDED PROTEIN
Firm fined after dead mouse found in loaf of bread
(Thanks to Lord G)
HITTING THE ROAD
THESE KIDS TODAY
Car thieves caught because they can't drive stick
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
IMPORTANT UPDATE
Unfortunately, our strict policy prohibits us from bringing you this important update.
SEND HER TO WASHINGTON
THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS
(Thanks to catmanmax)
KINKY
TURN LEFT AT THE NEXT GOAT
You have arrived at your destination.
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
THE BODY WAS FOUND WITH A HAIRBALL IN ITS THROAT
DID SOMEBODY STEP IN SOMETHING?
"Let 'Er Buck" rodeo-themed cologne.
(Thanks to The Perts)
PUNCTUATION! UPDATE!
At least they knew that an apostrophe wasn't appropriate...
I snapped the attached pic of a Raleigh, North Carolina, taxi this morning, believing that you both might enjoy it.
Improper punctuation in signage has become so commonplace that it seldom seems noteworthy anymore. It takes real imagination, courage, and creativity (that, or perhaps just shocking levels of ignorance) to come up with unusual errors, especially when the error involves apostrophes and nouns. I believe this taxi is a real standout in the category of innovative use of possessive noun punctuation.
Thanks,
John Moore
BECAUSE THEY ALSO WEAR UNIFORMS AND BADGES
Longmont Man Says He Thought Officer Was A Zombie
(Thanks to Matthew Beuttner)
WE'LL JUST HAVE A SALAD
Naked woman bread and pig cake at Experimental Food Society 'spectacular'
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)