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July 23, 2010


Don't roll your eyes in Elmhurst.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)


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Tell my current wife we're moving to Elmhurst.

Let's add eye blinking too. If there is excessive eye blinking they ought to jail these rat-bastard, citizens.

Who the hell do they think they are anyway, free people?

The person tossed out is lucky she wasn't tased. I heard that Oak Park -- a few towns east of Elmhurst -- was going to require that all speakers at the public meetings be dressed in Prairie Style.

*rolls eyes*

*"tsks" in exasperation*


Within a week, every teenage girl in Elmhurst will be in custody.

Back when I was in grad school I worked in an office full of undergrad females and a couple of grownups. (No, this is not the story I sent to Penthouse.) My self-imposed challenge was to come up with comments piggishly male enough to earn both the eye-roll and that little *tch* tongue click sound.

When I got off a good one, the room would sound like a Geiger counter. (Thank god none of them owned machetes.)

The wink and the gun usually works.

Padraig --
I tried the same, but it was really hard with my online coursework.

Good one NMUA. Why don't they just tell her if she keeps doing that her eyes are going to stick and no boys will want to go out with her. Worked on me when I was a teenage girl. As for the sighing my mother just told me if I did it again she was going to kill me and I stopped.

Hmmpf. *Shrugs shoulders sarcastically*

Don't you hate it when total wusses get their panties in a knot over imagined slights?

Funny, but every guy I forwarded this story to emailed me back to tell me that his wife was a champion eye roller.

I wonder what that could mean?

*flashes* elmhurst officials

I rolled my eyes when I read this. I think the people in charge of those meetings are way too sensitive.



Mooning them I could see as disruptive behavior. Giving them wedgies I could understand. Also flinging feces, making armpit noises or blowing a vuvuzela. But eye-rolling as "disturbance and disorderly conduct"?

Decorum is in Iowa.

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