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June 18, 2010

USA-SLOVENIA: THE BIG GAME

Like most American sports fans, I grew up hating Slovenia, our bitter arch-rival soccer foe in Eastern Europe or Western Europe or possibly Asia. That is why this morning I will depart from my usual weekday routine of sitting around the house to go sit around in a bar and watch the crucial USA-Slovenia match.

The USA is favored, but the Slovenians could be trouble. I know this because I did some research in the form of skimming the Wikipedia article on Slovenia, where I found this alarming statement:

With the collapse of the Austro-Hungarian Empire in October 1918, the Slovenes formed the State of Slovenes, Croats and Serbs, which soon merged with Serbia and Montenegro into the Kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovenes. The western parts of the Slovene Lands (the Slovenian Littoral and western districts of Inner Carniola) were occupied by the Italian Army, and officially annexed to the Kingdom of Italy with the Treaty of Rapallo in 1920.

What does this tell us? It tells us that life is way too short for us to do any more research about the Slovenians. The important thing is that we hate them, which is why this morning I will be rooting for our boys and also perhaps enjoying a refreshing beverage with my friends Ken and David, both of whom are soccer fanatics. Ken informs me that he will be wearing his backup lucky jersey, because his main lucky jersey produced only a tie against England. I will be wearing a USA jersey. We may get a little rowdy. If we see any Slovenians, we may have to kick their butts. Why do I take such a hostile tone? Because I am confident that there won't be any Slovenians. That is the kind of hardcore fan I am.

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During the migration period, the slovenians suffered invasions of many barbarian armies, due to its strategic position as the main passage from the Pannonian plain to the Italian peninsula. Rome finally abandoned the region at the end of the 4th Century. Most cities were destroyed, while the remaining local population moved to the highland areas, establishing fortified towns. In the 5th century, the region was part of the Ostrogothic kingdom, and was later contested between the Ostrogoths, the Byzantine Empire and the Lombards.

The Lombards???

"I will depart from my usual weekday routine of sitting around the house to go sit around in a bar..."

Bt will you still be slovenly?

Look out for the Serbs, they are almost as bad, and they play the BAGPIPE!

This is all in addition to a series of brutal conquests and defeats among the Leotards, Subcutaneans, Masons, Dixons, Halliburtons, the Ewok-Weeble Alliance, and Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons.

Today is my Saturday so, after a week of single handedly trying to spend the economy back to health I going to take most of the day off from chores and have a beer or three at my neighborhood Crow Bar.

East Nashville: We'll steal your heart. And your lawnmower.

What is this 'World Cup' of which you speak?

The Lombards died out after they failed to provide adequate back support.

*snork* at MTB

Now you know why so many wars were started there. Everyone was confused and cranky all the time.

Then the Turks showed up.

Have fun, Dave :)


All I want is a bar somewhere,
Far away from the humid air.
With one enormous chair,
Aow, couldn't I be slovenly?
Lots of nachos for me to eat,
Lots of BEER drinkin' (oh, so SWEET!).
Our Team just won't be beat!!!
Aow, wouldn't it be slovenly?

Aow, so slovenly sittin' abso-bloomin'-lutely still.
I would never budge 'till spring...
(Geez! I hope i don't get ill!)
Someone's 'ead hittin' on a knee,
Hard as he11! No pussies, We! Beer tastes so good me:
Aow, wouldn't we be slovenly?
Slovenly! Slovenly, Slovenly... Slovenly!

I'll be watching the game in my home, which to date is 100% Slovenia-free. That's the main reason I chose it.

I'm rooting for Louise Lombard.

I think the Comanche were in there at some point as well.

*snork* @ MtB & t8.

Is there anything more exciting than a 0-0 draw in the World Cup? Yes, The U.S. Open Golf Tournament!

If you've ever heard the saying, "Soccer is a gentleman's game played by thugs," and wondered what they meant, watch the Slovenians (or pretty much any Eastern European team).

Some of those guys have more steel plating in their skulls than a military HumVee.

Go USA!

Little known Slovenian fact:
In Prague (Czech Republic), Slovenian (Slovinská in Czech) and Slovakian (Slovenská in Czech) embassies have one dedicated messeneger to resend messages sent to the wrong embassy.

Didn't the Hatfields and McCoys start their feud in Slovenia?

GO USA!!!!

What the heck kinda name is Slovenia??????????? I mean really. Pretty wussy if you asked me.

*snork* @ Meanie.

Those dang Slovanians. I'm sure they're the reason the Kardashians have invaded our cable programing.

Lower Outer Inner Eastern Slobbovia is the team for me.

I'm actually one of the few people that can find Slovenia on the map (nice country to visit if you don't mind eating horse burgers after going to the bars). My ex is from there, so she sent me an e-mail last night and called me this morning to talk trash about the game. My only response to her was, "Oh, I forgot the rest of the world actually cares about soccer."

We're losing 2-0 already??? I thought it was illegal to score more than one goal in a World Cup match.

If we lose (as we are, badly) we might as well pack it up and go to the bar home now, unless England somehow loses to Algeria later today, which is not bloody likely.

*drinks*

USA comes from behind to (momentarily) save our red white & blue keisters!

OK, y'all can go back to watching the Marlins again.

My husband is Slovenian, Scottish and Cherokee. Oddly he has just the tiniest bit of a temper. Fortunately we don't care about soccer.

@Siouxie ian is an Armenian ending. Don't mix em up around Armenians 'cuz they won't invite you back and they have awesome food!

Which group are the Marlins in?

Which group is Kardashia in?

@lorrie - My bad. I must have been sleeping painting my nails doing drugs absent during Eastern Europeeing History.

I've never had Armenian food but I do hear it's great. I seriously doubt that any of the Kardashians can cook though.

USA 2-2 SVN
FINAL
Donovan '48 '13 Birsa
Bradley '82 '42 Ljubijankic

Who assigns the refs?

How is it we get the ref from Al Qaeda on his FIRST World Cup appearance?

How about them Lakers?

I'm sure Dave's drinking support was the crucial element in the US team's comeback.

Oh yeah, Kill The Ref!

didn't someone named Lombard used to coach the packers?

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