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June 30, 2010

I'm heading to Cape Town, South Africa today, although I won't actually get there today, as it is a fairly long flight, the kind of flight where after a dozen hours or so in the air you say to yourself, "How the hell can this thing stay up this long? Maybe I should have three or four more glasses of wine."

Anyway, if I ever get there, I'll resume blogging in a day or so, although it may be sporadic. I'm assuming they have the Internet in Cape Town. I know for a fact that they have penguins, and you rarely find one without the other.

Mrs. Blog, who is already there, informs me that they definitely have shopping, so: yikes.

Update: I wrote this at the airport in Atlanta, where I'm catching a connecting flight. I just looked at the blog mail and found that Ron Barrett had sent in an item that begins:

So I'm thinking maybe I need to carry on an umbrella.


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Or you could just take a penguin with you to eat the maggots. Don't forget your vuvuzela.

Don't forget your Cape for Cape Town.

Safe Flight Dave. Drink lots of beer.

I saw that maggot story on the local news here and as I said then, "ick."

Have fun and I hope you remembered your earplugs.

For the vuvuzelas, not Mrs. Blog, of course.

You meant "three or four more glasses of beer," right? RIGHT??!!

I hope you brought a 75-hour supply of one-quart ziplock bags, each filled with two ounces of vodka.

Stay safe, Dave. If you have a layover in Charlotte let me know and I will come to the airport and be your fan club.

Have a safe flight, Dave. Say "HI" to Mot for us. He can be your tour guide if you need more beer. Or aspirin. Mrs. Mot has GINORMOUS pink ear muffs which I'm sure she'll let you borrow.

"How the hell can this thing stay up this long?

Yeah, I get that a lot....

"And as they're telling us to stay calm and seated, I see a maggot looking back at me and I'm thinking, 'These are anaerobic, flesh-eating larvae that the flight attendants don't have to sit with."'

I believe this woman should be made an honorary member of Dave's Blog. She had me at "it only takes one maggot to upset your world", but the sentence above entitles her to an honorary *snork.*

Good luck Dave. South Africa has the best wine in the world. Especially in Cape Town as I'm sure you will find out.

I'm surprised the airline didn't bill them $50 for a meal upgrade.

Have a safe and wonderful trip Dave!

"I don't know what special piece of meat was in Atlanta that needed to get to Charlotte, but it affected hundreds, if not thousands ... of passengers, and is a health risk." I'll have ya'll know that it wasn't me. I departed yesterday.

I believe all flights from Atlanta to Cape Town now involve a layover and change of planes at Saturn, so don't forget to bring your camera.

Looking forward to some fun columns from Vuvuzela Town.

Wasn't me either, Ms. Cheryl. The meat was fine when we were there.

If this happened on Air Dave, the pilot would have simply taken the passenger out to be shot.

I apologize, I thought you said "Carrion is to be stored in the overhead compartment".

With all the cutbacks, it had to happen. Airplane food now serves itself.

From "The Complete Book of Maggot Joke" -- Two maggots try to board an airplane. The flight attendant stops them and says, "Sorry, but you can't fly."

Rim shot, please.

Two maggots sitting at the bar. Guy next to them keeps staring at them. One of the maggots says, "What are you starting at?" Guy says, "Did you know you're flies, undone?"

Dave, welcome to my beautiful country. It's a pity that we'll be a thousnad miles apart. It would've been great to meet with you.

great trip dave. think you might meet with mandela?


HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PUNKIN!!! Have a most fantabulous day. I already miss you, BFF!


Dave?? Are you there yet?

Cheryl, I just spewed my coffee. Carrion. Triple snorkage.

Happy Birthday to Grandma Punkin!

Guin, I learned a very long time ago, to not drink anything while reading the blog. I had to explain why there was a coffee stain in the built in speakers for my monitor and replace two keyboards at work.

Happy Birthday Punkin, When are you and the hubby coming back to Beantown?

Happy Birthday Punkin!

happy b'day punkin - its my burfday month too!! whoohoo

Shoulda checked the blog before sending the story to the e-mail address... live and learn.

I guess invertebrates have to connect through Atlanta, too.

HB Punkin. 29 and holding, right?

Dave, I know a guy that used to live in South Africa, and he told me that a bottle of Jack Daniels cost about $80.00. However, brandy was relative inexpensive. He said the South Africans drink brandy and coke. I am not making this up.

Right there with ya, Betsy!

No way billinbosier, a bottle of Jack costs about $20. You can even get pre-mixed brandy & coke. But if you go into a pub and ask for brandy & coke people'll look at you funny. You have to ask for a klippies & coke. Klipdrift (Klippies) is a very popular locally produced brandy.

Billibosier here's proof the Rand is about R 7.60 to the $ right now so you can divide the prices by 7.6

Drinking Jack Daniels and being able to divide by 7.6 rarely go hand in hand.

There yet?

>"How the hell can this thing stay up this long?
>Yeah, I get that a lot....
>Posted by: widget

Widget, please. There are children on this blog. I am one of them. (Hey, I'm still in my first childhood!) :)

Happy Birthday, Punkin !!!
Hope your day is as fabulous as your weekend in Atlanta !

Queensbee - MY birfday month, too !

Spending all that money on Jack will make one feel rand-y.

lotsa people born in july. never could figger that out.

Okay, Judi, we're ready for the kilts.

Safe maggotless travels!

possible explanations for QB - celebration of the guys' favorite football team's win? Summer's over in most parts of the country and it's cool enough to bring on some heat?

Happy Birrrrthday, Punkin! (warning - nsfw)
Hope you're 'hangin' out' with your friends.

(sorry if this posted twice)

Mot you're not going to see Dave? It's just a thousand miles! Like most Americans who are geographically impaired, I assume Cape Town and Johannesburg are like 20 miles apart. As for me I will be spending the day recuperating from taking 4 children to Chuck E. Cheese yesterday. We spent 3 1/2 hours there then went to McDonalds for more great food and fun! My ten year old got upset because I wouldn't let him have coffee with his cheeseburger.
Happy Birthday Punkin!

my birthday month too.

NC: you went to Chuck E Cheese and you lived to tell the tale? No knife fights broke out?

You have my condolences, NC. I'd rather be drug nekkid through an Arab village with a bagel on my d*ck.

I understand bonmot and Braniff the only 'bad' injury was when the 14 year old boy got into the ball pit with the other 3 who immediately threw balls, very hard, right at his groinial area. Let's just say they have good aim so I had a 14 year old walking around seeing stars who could only say he thought he was going to throw up. To his credit, he didn't. I bought him an ice cream cone. It was the only thing I could think of to make him feel better.

Hold the cone where it hurts and you'll feel better...?

nursecindy - that's why it's called a ball pit.

"These are anaerobic, flesh-eating larvae that the flight attendants don't have to sit with."

What an awe-inspiring quote!!!

I should have known better about the price of JD. The guy that told me that had already had a few of either JDs and coke, or brandy and cokes when he told me that.

So....um...there yet?

I have a feeling Siouxie was the kind of kid that sat in the back seat of the car, kicking, and asking every 5 mins., "Are we there yet?"

Hopefully Dave will write a book while he's up there.

Which way you facing, Annie? Africa is usually down. Just sayin'.

Also Happy Birthday to Punkin and whoever else is getting older on this blog.

Interesting picture, annie. I was hoping for some vuvuselage, but all i saw was a saggy bagpipe.

(happy birthday punkin person)

Happy, B-day, Punkin' ... I've got a granddaughter who will be 13 on Monday, a cousin who wuz borned on July 4 (a LONG time ago) and a SIL whose nativity is July 3 ... but yer the first person I've ever known of who wuz born on the beginning of the Government Fiscal Year ...

Hmmmmmmm ... there's a joke in there sumplace, but it's too hot here for me to think of whut it is ...


That'd be the Nodak State Government Fiscal Year ... my bad ...

We all know whose birthday it is tomorrow (Friday), even if he will be in a foreign time zone and hemisphere, right?

(At least, Siouxie, I think he'll be there by then.)

I hope so, Meanie. He'll have to go back in time to celebrate...or forward. I forget. We'll just blow our vuvuzelas in his honor.

"Blow our Vuvuzelas" wbag ... um ... nevermind ...

I just know "his honor" is a euphemism for something, ... isn't it?

*holds screaming baby up to Dave's ear while stewardess flight attendant informs him that they are out of beer and tells toddler sitting next to Dave not to blow vuvuzela quite so loudly and then asks Dave 32 times, "Are we there yet?" after asking him where you can buy one of his books.*

Happy birthday Punkin!

Maybe that's his secret to staying young - being on an eastbound flight on your birthday, so you skip as much as possible of that actual day.

Cape Town? Wear the fox hat!

Which way you facing, Annie? Africa is usually down. Just sayin'.

Also Happy Birthday to Punkin and whoever else is getting older on this blog.

Posted by: Suzy Q | July 01, 2010 at 08:26 PM

Right you are Suzy. Farm directions are up=north, down=south, over=east and across=west. So when I lived in north Florida we'd go up to Valdosta, down to Live Oak, over to Jacksonville and across to Tallahassee.

On another note I just googled "Ron Barrett maggots" and this came up first. I'm so proud!!

Happy birthday Punkin!

My best friend's father was born on July 4th. When she was a kid, he told her the whole nation was celebrating his birthday, and for a long time, she really thought this was true. Of course, this is the same guy who gave her (a really big Gone With the Wind fan) an autographed copy of the book. Problem was, the autograph was in his handwriting.

Happy former birthday, Punkin!!!!

And Sending Himself many wishes such as, Are you still alive?

Actually, um, his birthday is, um, Saturday....

Actually, um...you're right.

Surely her MUST be there by now...

And by her, I mean he

Don't call him Shirley. His name is Dave.

There's so much to do in Cape Town it'll be a while before he posts on the blog.

I've heard of a slow boat to China but never a slow airplane to South Africa. Maybe the Internets are down there, although Mot is still reporting on Facebook.

Cannot pass up the chance to say this ...

"DAVE'S NOT HERE, MAN!" (He's in Cape Town ... yes, that's a toll call ... )

Mot was the voice of the World Cup on Facebook so I think it's only fair he be the voice of Dave's visit to South Africa. btw, is anyone else seeing the blog differently? For some reason I'm getting a weird layout now.

Anybody else read "Dilbert" today ?
Scott Adams has one of his characters *snork*-ing.
That has me questioning the origins of the *snork*.
I have always thought it to be an original Dave Barry utterance.

Re the maggot story: YUCK! I can't believe they let that passenger onto another plane--I'd have canceled the remaining part of his reservation without a refund.

Too funny! Dave, Shirley you can join another funky band while in South Africa-maybe a funky chicken dancing band with underwear on their heads! :)

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