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May 11, 2010

SQUIRREL TERRORISM UPDATE

It's getting worse.

(Thanks to Al O., B. Kizer and Allen at Division)

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Strongsville, a hotbed of crime. The wearing of animal costumes seems to be spreading. First a gorilla at a fire, and now a bear jumping into traffic.

OTOH, "An officer helped a mother duck and her ducklings safely cross the intersection of Lenox Drive and Howe Road."

More baby duck stories, and pictures.

First item:

MISCHIEF, WEST 130th STREET: Motorists called police Saturday because a group of juveniles were jumping into traffic.

One of the boys was wearing a bear costume, according to the callers. The group was gone when police arrived.

Second item:

Local Entertainment

• Nine vie to become North Royalton's first 'Mr. Bear'

Any connection?

But concerning the disturbance on Pearl Road, Boulder is having similar problems.

These sound like they belong on the police blotter at Disney World.

This community apparently is terrified of squirrels, turtles, fake bears, and duckies. I say let the squirrels have 'em, they're an embarrassment to humanity.

As to the 4th item on the blotter:
Dave, were you anywhere near Zeller's Elementary School recently? Do you have an alibi?

Ahh...even more Naperville Squirrels have gone rogue. It' the tails, I tell ye, the constant presence of the tails...

"temperamental squirrel".

Clearly a typo. I think they meant Asian battered and fried squirrel. Tempura-mental.

Or maybe a painted squirrel. Tempera-mental.

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