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May 17, 2010

'SOUNDS?'

'Drinking' neat vodka through your EYE for a quick buzz? It sounds insane...

(Thanks to Lissa)


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WTFBBQ?! Morons.

Of course, Vodka Eyeballing & Unechecked Social High-Jinks WBAGNFARB

I'd like to call BS on this one but then I read the phrase, "normal, sensible teenager". Ain't no such animal.

"Here's mud in 'yer eye . . . "

She hasn't yet told her parents about her eye. 'I've put off telling them about it before now because I didn't want to worry them,' she says simply, but it's

much better if they find out by reading the Daily Mail, or what's'is name's blog from Florida.

I've read a lot of stupid things in my life, but this is without a doubt, the stupidest.

Vodka eyetini?? Add some olives to that and I'll be impressed.

Like this, Siouxie?

"Neat" means w/o ice cubes btw. Sissies.

♫ No, vodka, no cry ♪

Actually I guess it means 'straight'. Still . . .

Blinked, not stirred.

Sounds like he has a drinking problem...

Pickled eyes have just replaced pickled eggs as a bar snack.

HAH! trustf8!

I like mine dirty.

The martinis, not the eyeballs...

No, Allen, he has a blinking problem.

And these are followed by beer goggles, right?

Stupid should hurt.

And did they give the traditional Russian toast - Na zdorovye! or "To your health!" - before doing their Stolichnaya eye-shots? Inquiring minds want to know...

the'logic' here seems to be that any mucous membrane will do. Are vodka enemas next? (if yes, i don't want to know)

When drinking, it's best to ask " What wouldn't the Three Stooges have done ? " .

Her brain is put on hold,
Her lips reserved for guys
She's only just enrolled, she's got....
Stolichnaya eyes
She'll take the bottle from you,
She won't even think twice
She's sure puts on a show, she got....
Stolichnaya eyes

Her decision,
Skirts derision
At expense of a little vision
She's unconsious,
And she knows just
What it takes to make the bar gush
She won't settle for Smirnoff, guys, she's got.....
Stolichnaya eyes

You mean StolichnEYEa? Or SkEYE?

SEEgrams? FinlandEYEa? EYEceberg?

VEYEkingfjord? SobEYEeski? FireflEYE?

So many choices; so few corneas.

Absolute HEye 5s to Meanie & bon 8)

GrEYE Goose??

*raises eyeball martini glass @ Meanie!

Next on the antic circuit - shaken champagne enemas.

Mine eyes are kind of blurry from the vodka I have poured
We are stamping out our vision in our quest to please the hoard;
We'll stare down the fiery distillate until we hit the floor
Grey Goose is scorching on.

Glory, glory, socket to ya!
Glory, glory, shocket to yas!
Glorrrry, gloreeeeeee, snockered woo hoo!
Grey Goosh is [THUD].

Eventually this will become passe among the incredibly stupid set, and they'll move on to the next level of stupid drinking tricks: pouring vodka into your eye and then SETTING IT ON FIRE!

We should try that tonight...

"PERIMETER!"

(pours vodka in his eye...)

A toast to MTB: "Eye Eye!"

*Clinks glass with tf8*

Na zdarov'ye to mtb!

Darwin is chuckling again...

Vodka is better taken p.o. with o.j. For you non-medical types p.o. means by mouth.

The real bitch of it all it the plastic sword they use for the garnish.

It only took Sharkie 4 times to realize you can take the little plastic sword out. We're so proud of him.

It may not have vodka, but it was definitely alcohol involved in this Death by Enema (which definitely WBAGNFAPunkB).

Mon Sherry!

Alcohol by enema is at least 20 years old (kid in my high school won himself a visit to the ER in this manner), probably older.

There, butt for the grace of God, go eye?

*makes appointment to have a hole drilled through his skull and have a funnel installed so he can have the same effect without losing a contact lens*

okay, i see that people dumber than me have already tried alcohol enemas, so i googled alcohol iv's which have also been done.

There being no other orifices that i wish to imagine putting it into (vodka in a neti pot? an ear syringe?)...

Catheter...?

Sorry. Brain Bleach all around.

I like the neti pot idea, as cocaine users have already proven the sinuses to be effective inlets for substance abuse. I'm not sure how it would fix the whole "breath smell like alcohol" issue which is at the root of the alternative alcohol absorption craze. Would snorting pouring vodka across your nasal passages affect your breath? Could you continually pour the same shot until all the alcohol was absorbed? How long would this take? Inquiring minds want to know.

Reminds me of the main character's "drinking problem" in the movie Airplane.

I've started alcohol I.V.'s on people who were withdrawing from alcohol. It keeps them from going into D.T.'s which are not pretty. If you have ever seen anyone going through alcohol withdrawal you would never drink again. Which is the main reason I don't drink.

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