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May 24, 2010


Was Patty Everett scared when she saw the snake coming out of the air-conditioning vent in her Buick SUV?

"Well, somebody crapped in my pants," she said.

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)


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I'd be less afraid of the snake and more afraid of this mysterious pants-crapper.

She picked a bad week to give up DependS.

I didn't do it. NTTAWW,OWMTI.

Once I was driving and listening to a radio report about tarantulas getting into car parts at a Mexican assembly plant and then crawling out of the dashboard of the completed car later. On cue a spider slid down its web from my sun visor and stopped one inch in front of my right eye. At that distance the spider appeared to be, oh, four feet wide. I almost crapped my pants AND hit a tree.

Good thing I didn't, or all the care I took that morning to put on clean underwear in case of a car accident would have been wasted.

A snake coming out of the air-conditioning vent of the vehicle I'm driving is a crap-worthy event, IMHO.

Where's the crapcam when you need it?

A misplaced windshield viper.

People, People, the proper response to this situation is to pull over, turn on moderate heat, and wait for the snake to get too warm and leave the system. Then, WITHOUT HARMING the snake, pick it up and release it.
I've been bitten four times and all four were my fault.
Only one bite brought a minor film of blood and there was no pain.
And spiders are so innocuous that it's a wonder that anyone ever gets bitten.
I did like her comment.

Did she check those pants when she put them on in the morning?

As Bill Cosby once noted, the whole idea of "wear clean underwear in case of an accident" is flawed. "If you see a semi truck coming head-on...", pause, smirk, "first you say it, then you do it."

Hello.. OnStar ?

Steve the Optimist is nuts! In the ER we just assumed your underpants were clean prior to your accident.

Underpants? Whut underpants?

I'm Patty, this is my brother Darryl, and this is my other brother Darryl.

I wouldn't worry about small snakes in a car; they're non-aggressive and rarely carry any diseases that affect humans*. The same can't be said about whatever rodents it was chasing. Are you ready to play Beat the Reaper?

An anaconda would be a different story.

*Salmonella is an unlikely possibility, but as long as you don't kiss the snake and wash your hands after handling it, you are more likely to get infected from a piece of chicken or an egg.

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