OUCH

This would be funnier to those of us who live in Miami if we weren't building an expensive new baseball stadium for the benefit of a zillionaire team owner and his multimillionaire players even though the vast majority of us never go to actually watch them.

Comments

[MOTW]

Geez, Dave. You gripe like you're the only city with BOHICA syndrome from a major sports team owner.
(Dallas Cowboyz stadium)

[Braniff]

I don't get it. They're excited that they'll be able to cover thousands of empty seats? Shouldn't they be more excited to have actual fans in those seats?

[Betsy]

Philadelphia: the Liberty Bell
Washington: the Declaration of Independence
Miami: the Historic Seat-Covering Tarp

Is this a great country, or what?

[Horace LaBadie]

I just hope that the historic streak of no-sellouts can continue.

[beckster]

I believe that this is that "satire" thing we hear so much about....

[Account Deleted]

It's The Onion, Braniff. If they convinced someone it was real news, they have done their job well. Not unlike this recent story: Heckled Christian Rock Band Knows How Jesus Felt. My favorite line:

"I'll never forget how our buddy Pete pretended he didn't even know us," Mayfield said. "He was standing next to these two really cute girls, and when we asked him what he thought of our set, he just looked at us and totally denied ever liking our music."

Added Mayfield, "Pete was our No. 1 fan."

[bonmot]

SatireWire was pretty good while it was around, too.

[Mad Scientist Weasel]

Just give away Andre Ethier bobble heads. I was at Dodger stadium Tuesday and the que to get through security was insane. Everybody loves bobbleheads and I am sure Marlin's fans will like to have little effigies they can run over or burn.

[judi the prig]

mad: i have a whole shelf of em!

[Suzy Q]

Happy happy joy joy, now without the happy or the joy.

[nursecindy]

In Charlotte, our basketball team,the Hornets, left to go to New Orleans. A couple of years later we built a new arena so we could attract another basketball team, the Bobcats. The Hornets left because we wouldn't build them a new arena which we ended up doing anyway.

[bonmot]

Here's how you get money to finance stadia: tax the players.

Make 'em pay an occupation tax of $1 million annually. Viola! There's your financing.

[Braniff]

SA: oops. I wasn't looking at the name of the publication.

bonmot: it's "Voila!" Viola is the name of a baseballplayer who I happen to know quite well.

[bonmot]

You're right Braniff. A viola is also a supersized violin.

[mudstuffin]

a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

we voted this kind of crap down like three times, so finally nationwide insurance ponied up for a hockey arena so we could get "the bluejackets" (who names a team after a garment?) and they (the bluejackets) are currently losing like 12 million a year and are sure to bolt and it never cost me a nickle. neener neener neener.

[Not My Usual Alias]

I viola is a violin on HGH that never changes factory tuning settings

[Horace LaBadie]

The good news is that the dome of the new stadium will keep the tarp dry.

[CJrun]

Just be sure that they don't slip you some shabby, secondhand teal tarp for seat covering from the stadium for my World Champion Jacksonville Jaguars, 'casue that would be wrong.

[Loudmouth]

Another TARP that cost waaay too much.

[Punkin]

I am girl.

This is what I heard: TEAL.

My reaction: Oh! How pretty!

Carry on, boys.

[nursecindy]

Our stadium for the Carolina Panthers is named, Bank Of America Stadium. I have no idea who sponsors it. Please do not give them any ideas. They have $3.25 of my money in a savings account and I don't want them to blow it.

[Meanie the Blue]

I still wish I had a souvenir from Enron Field.

[MartiniShark]

Now hold on, according to this article there is a baseball team down here?

[Siouxie]

Sharkie, there ARE other sports besides hockey. Really.

[djtonyb]

@Sharkie & Siouxie:

I still am trying to get my head around the fact that we have a hockey team... and that they are called the "Panthers"... most felines I know would step gingerly out on the ice, and immediately return to the safety of a non-slippery surface post-haste.

[Annie Where-but-here]

dj - no kidding - go, Ducks. :(

[Mr Death]

who names a team after a garment?

You mean, besides the Red Sox, the White Sox and the Knick(erbocker)s?

[nannie]

No, Bonmot, you were right to begin with. "Viola" is the English version of "Voila." Just ask Dick Smothers.

[Layzeeboy]

Here in Scranton we have the Yankees AAA team (Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees) who play in PNC Bank Park (which we county citizens own). Yesterday the Yanks (read: Steinbrenners) announced that would be staying here until 2014. Of course, they (read: Steinbrenners) want us to build them a new stadium.

[Mad Scientist Weasel]

Judi you have a whole shelf of Andre Ethier bobble heads?? WOW!!! Seriously on Tuesday the scalpers were selling tickets for double face value and demanding the bobble head be turned over to them and not kept by the ticket purchaser. INSANE! Here is the thing about Dodger stadium..it looks empty with 35,000 fans in it.