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May 19, 2010


Druids hired to cut road accidents


(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)


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It's nice to see the minorities being put to work.


Btw, cindy would like to know if he's single.

Funny, he doesn't look Druish.

Somehow the watch just doesn't fit.

It's a wrist sundial, Wyo.

Motorway bosses in Austria secretly hired a full-time team of druids to drain 'negative energy' from accident blackspots.

I guess that's better than Part-Time Druids (which WBAGNFARB).

Druids worship trees.*

*Orthodox Druids, that is. Reform Druids can use house plants and low shrubbery in their rituals.

Druids use mistletoe, so maybe people slowed down to kiss.

Send them to Rush Limbaugh's office. Plenty of negative energy there...

The team is said to have reduced fatal accidents at one notorious crash site to zero after restoring its "terrestrial radiation".

They didn't count all the fender benders caused by drivers spooked by hooded men on the side of the road holding divining rods.

I'm looking forward to a howling article about a year from now ridiculing the wider application of this accident management technique. It sounds like they got good results at one (!) trial site, but they don't seem to acknowledge any potential for coincidence.

Next up: Highway Feng Shui.

Druids are too emo--they should have used mages or paladins. For The Horde, baby!

Where do I sign up for this job?
Have dowsing rod (stick), will travel.

these people been outta work for, um, centuries.

Look at his face. I think it's all a ruse. Next week all the evil energy he's sucked up will be used to take over the world. Bwahahaha.

What's "negative radiation"? Is that anything like a "black hole"?

... no wonder there were crashes! They were just 'sucked in' to each other.

Oh, and I forgot to ask. What form of currency do druids accept? Shiny stones?

Loudmouth, that look on his face is symptomatic of someone who has conned the government out of a bunch of "currency."

MeThinks it was all a plot by the squirrels!

obi wan seriouslystrangedude

The Flying Spaghetti Monster will not be pleased with neo-pagans interfering with His traffic controls.

In America we would sue the DOT if we got into an accident for negligently leaving all that negative radiation just swirling about when they themselves knew full well a simple naked druid with a divine rod could have prevented the whole affair.

"brother meriadec, wake up!"

"huh?, wha?"

"head out to the highway! and why do you have the ritual blue dye on?"

"the highway? father vortigern, i thought we were preventing woad accidents!"


Shouldn't they be dusting Stonehenge or something?

Okay, someone's gotta say it: "Is that a divining rod in your robe or are you just happy to see me prevent accidents?"

Is he flying a kite?

Evidently Druid technology has improved. They have gone from the low tech "stick of wood" divining rods to the high tech wire version shown (laser guided no doubt). They probably have to charge a lot more though.

OK, so hiring a bunch of creepy old dudes to stand by the side of the road and grin insanely while pointing sticks at cars, actually prevents road accidents.
Did we just discover an actual use for Congress?

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