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May 17, 2010


Animal welfare groups in Britain say they are outraged by a school fundraising contest that involves placing ferrets  down the trousers of competitors.

(Thanks to Horace LaBadie)

My esteemed colleague Rick Reilly has a book out with a chapter on this deplorable practice.


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Wasn't there an American Idol contestant who had a song about this in the preliminaries?

Let's see. It's the ferrets everyone is concerned about? Does anyone at this school understand the word "priorities"?
I don't care how loose the trousers are. I'm not putting a fast-moving carnivore down my pants even if they are so large there's a good chance the animal and I will never meet.

Has Richard Gere been informed?

Would "Ferrets Down My Pants" BAGNFARB?

No, but "Scrotum Weasel" might be.

Animal welfare groups in Britain were not happy to see this.

Endangered Trouser Snakes comes to mind.

And from Dave's classic column today, "Diminished Penile Sensation."

"Is that a ferret in your pants or are you just....." Oh, never mind.

It's a title one cannot inherit.
It must be won strictly on merit.
Put more stoats in your slacks,
but do not relax,
your opponents you will then out-ferret.

I guarantee no women took part in this contest. I wonder if a ferret bite is as bad as that spider bite we blogged yesterday? Some blog guy should do a study. Bonmot are you up for it?

"Up" for it! *snork!*

Not me, but I'll be those guys from Jackass might give it a go.

I really didn't mean it that way. Sorry.

"Animal rights/welfare" people know nothing about animals. I currently have 6 ferrets and they would all find this an exciting adventure.

And yes, they have got up my pant legs and down my shirt and under the sheets and in the shower and . . .

First thing I thought of... Harry Potter:

Mister Malfoy, the white ferret!

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