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April 30, 2010

PRISON LIFE

It can get lonely.

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by on April 30, 2010 at 09:22 AM |

Comments

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Viva tab-ass-co.

Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | April 30, 2010 at 09:25 AM

When a guy prefers Franks
To his own 'hand-made' yanks
...That's a Sore-A!

Posted by: trustf8 | April 30, 2010 at 09:25 AM

I wonder if Paris Hilton would say "That's hot!"?...

Posted by: Allen at Division | April 30, 2010 at 09:27 AM

*snork*@ Annie:

Fire-in-the-Hole!

Posted by: trustf8 | April 30, 2010 at 09:28 AM

And the taxpayers take it in the a$$...

Posted by: Coconuts | April 30, 2010 at 09:30 AM

Given the circumstances, *Snork* @ prisons spokeswoman Walburn.

Posted by: Meanie the Blue | April 30, 2010 at 09:34 AM

Stay in school, kids - learn the difference between condom and condiment.

Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | April 30, 2010 at 09:36 AM

You'd think this guy would know that the one rule of prison survival is "Don't bend over to pick up the Tabasco bottle in the shower."

Posted by: padraig | April 30, 2010 at 09:46 AM

Hemorrhoids from Hell.

Posted by: wiredog | April 30, 2010 at 09:50 AM

snork @ annie!

Posted by: queensbee | April 30, 2010 at 10:04 AM

prisoner #1: hey budy, pass me the hot sauce.

prisoner #2: mmmrhhrhhrrrhrhrghgh.

prisoner #1: hey, i said pass the sauce!

prisoner #2: mrmhghghghgghgghghgh.

prisoner #1: i said pass it now!!

prisoner #2: i'm trying, i'm trying! better call the doc.

Posted by: crossgirl | April 30, 2010 at 10:14 AM

Why does prison food always taste like ass?

Posted by: Punkin | April 30, 2010 at 10:35 AM

So the "I was vacuuming naked and accidentally fell on the hot sauce bottle" excuse didn't cut mustard this time?

Posted by: Pannus | April 30, 2010 at 11:23 AM

Ya know what burns my ass...

Posted by: Layzeeboy | April 30, 2010 at 11:23 AM

His favorite ketchup would be-Heinz...

'Shake + Shake the hot sauce bottle
None'll come and then....'


you know the rest ;)

Posted by: trustf8 | April 30, 2010 at 11:32 AM

Most people occasionally feel the need to spice up their sex lives. Usually this involves other people.

Posted by: Steve | April 30, 2010 at 11:47 AM

Most people just head into the showers with soap on a rope instead of hot sauce.

Posted by: eve | April 30, 2010 at 12:09 PM

Rectum? Nearly killed him!

Posted by: bonmot | April 30, 2010 at 12:13 PM

Anusty burn?

Posted by: Coconuts | April 30, 2010 at 12:16 PM

He must of thought that he was a hot item.

Posted by: Theresa | April 30, 2010 at 12:23 PM

Ole Ole Ole Ole
Ole Ole Ole Ole

FIESTA!

Me ass on fire, me crack on fire
Feelin' hot hot hot
Convicted people, all around me
Feelin hot hot hot

Oh what to do, on a night like this
The bottle's sweet, I can't resist
We need, a party song
While I try to jam

So now I can't boom boom boom boom
Yeah arroom boom boom boom

See people laughin' yeah people cryin'
Feelin' hot hot hot
Get out the scalpel come on let's do it
Feelin' hot hot hot

It's out in the air, celebration time
Feeling sweet, captivate your mind
We need a party song
While I try to unjam

So now I can boom boom boom boom
Yeah arroom boom boom boom

Feelin' hot hot hot
Feelin' hot hot hot

Posted by: Hammond Rye | April 30, 2010 at 12:32 PM

OT/

I found this extremely important news article on fark.com today. I can't believe the major networks didn't pick it up.

Did you know Dave has a treehouse?

Posted by: Layzeeboy | April 30, 2010 at 12:33 PM

Must have been mowing the lawn just before the picture was taken. Nice raccoon eyes!

Posted by: OC Dolphin | April 30, 2010 at 12:45 PM

Prisons provide hot sauce? That's coddling beyond good taste &/or necessity, IMHO ...

The aforementioned ketchup (bottle) should be all the "enhancement" that felons receive ...

... um ... yeah ... you understood that part, din't'cha ...

Posted by: O the U(manity) | April 30, 2010 at 01:13 PM

I was a nurse for the detention center for several years. I never saw anything like this but did have a guy try to overdose on a bottle of Benadryl. I told him that fortunately not only was he not going to die but he would also never itch again. I really enjoyed working there and as an added bonus, I was proposed to regularly.

Posted by: nursecindy | April 30, 2010 at 01:18 PM

He must be real popular with the other guys on Cinco de Mayo...

Posted by: Steve Haller | April 30, 2010 at 02:15 PM

Lz, see yesterday's toilet humour blog. And that's some spicy meatball.

Posted by: JEC | April 30, 2010 at 03:52 PM

Seriously, how hard can it be to find someone to do . . . well, THAT, in PRISON?!

Posted by: bonmot | April 30, 2010 at 04:20 PM

On Treasury Street in St. Augustine is a small shop that sells hot sauces and tourist geegaws. One of my favorites in there (by name only) is Screaming Sphincter.
Now I know where it's bottled.

Posted by: Steve | April 30, 2010 at 05:48 PM

It is a tailhold by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying bluffing.

Posted by: Ralph | April 30, 2010 at 08:54 PM

He really wanted Texas Pete up there.

Posted by: Loudmouth | April 30, 2010 at 09:33 PM

Well, smack my arse and call me Sally.

Posted by: BA | May 01, 2010 at 09:57 PM

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