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April 19, 2010

24

Here is where we stand:

Last week Jack and Renee finally had sex, and it was a truly romantic and beautiful thing, except for the sniper. A lesson that we all, as Americans, should take away from this tragic episode is: close the blinds.

So now Renee has gone to that Big Wrap Party in the Sky, and Jack is really ticked off at the Russians. President Woman President is also unhappy with the Russians, because they're trying to sabotage the All Important Peace Procezzzzzz

Sorry! We tend to nod off whenever we think about the A.I.P.P. We wish everybody would just shut up about it so we can get on with the part where Jack works through his grief by shooting or stabbing or barehandedly removing the larynxes of as many Russians as humanly possible.

In other developments, Chloe is now in charge of CTU. We think this is great. We wish Chloe were in charge of the whole federal government and routinely tasered it in the butt.

Edgar is still dead.

Tragically, I will not be able to join you tonight, as I am on the road with the World Famous In Some Circles Rock Bottom Remainders, as we prepare for our big international tour of four U.S. cities. We'll be raising money for good causes, so if you can make it to one of the shows, please do. We promise that there will be great music, by which we mean alcohol.

Speaking of great, The Amazing Steve will be discussing the plot in the comments section following tonight's show. Meanwhile, here's a scientific poll.

Are you sad that Renee got sniped?
Yes, because Renee was hot AND psychotic.
No, because now Jack is motivated to engage in acts of mass carnage.
I was hoping that the sniper would be a really bad shot and hit Audrey.
The Yankees SUCK.
Montpelier.
  
pollcode.com free polls

Comments

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OK - how did Jack get from the hospital in a bloodied shirt to the court in less than FIVE MINUTES?????

...And it only took Jack like, five minutes, to get to the courtroom? Did he borrow Doctor Who's TARDIS or what?

A businessman?

Bwahahahahahaha

Good one, Lawyer Man.

cindy that was a generic shot of the outside of the Federal Courthouse downtown, in case you were wondering.

Jack's getting good at the hairy eyeball.

Jeff,
What are you gonna do? Huh? Huh?

Diva, unless you have a cigarette on you and if so hand it over and nobody gets hurt.

^5 Wes!

Transporter.

Nope cindy - no smokes here!

Jack can be very convincing when he wants to. And whenever Jack gives his word, the people are going to die...

Where is Siouxie tonight? If Jack Bauer offered me witness protection I would take my chances with the mob.

I can't even pronounce my own name!

Buh-bye Dana.

Goodie, now Jack can hurt Dana A LOT.

Diva, the blue shirt is an act of solidarity with Mrs. Sham.

*sigh* "24" becomes a courtroom drama...

No fags, just the Flaming Wooden Don't Ask Don't Dialogue Generator here, cindy!

Dana Valsh. Who's she now ?

HE GIVES HIS WORD! They are so dead.

Whoo! He named Dana!!!

Yeah, I'd move to Antartica if Jack gave me his word.

So Dana, white trash from Arkansas that she is, conspired with the K-G-frickin' Lubyanka-B to murder the Iranistani leader?

Ohhhh my head hurts...

I'm starting to think Edgar is not coming back.

The other Russian the one who was selling the Rods,
who his son stole, blames it all on Dana!

Man CTU security has reached a new low!

Oh yeah. Dana is going to experience the Power of Bauer.

Oh, Jack is gonna pull Dana's toenails out one by one...through her throat.

cindy, Siouxie's here...somewhere. Maybe opening a box o' wine.

Diva, I'm also on a diet. Strange. I haven't seen my family or boyfriend around for the past few days.

Well I guess we get to see the white trash Dana get to know Jack better. Maybe he'll rip her heart out and show it to her before she dies...

Jack shaved and got a new blue shirt and made it down to the courthouse in about three minutes.

Too bad when he was following all those other people in the last 17 hours he wasn't close to being that fast.

Dana has just been red-shirted!

Greg, have faith! Edgar is alive!

Hey, ya'll! Late to the party. What did I miss?

*WAVES* @ cindy!! been here!

Do you think the Capital One barbarians are Vikings or Astrogoths ?

Yes Jeff, but...did he get to pee yet?

Is there any chance Dana is working for Tony?

Excellent point, Wes.

*actually DID open up a new box-o-wine* LOL

Is it gauche to have red wine with white beer? Anyone?

Huns, LeDud. I'd say they're Huns.

cindy, I so feel* for you.

*that originally came out "fell" but the implications of that were disturbing. ;-)

Volcanics, LeDud.

A weasel never reveals his tricks

In five hours? So, now we have five more hours of this before the so-called climax?

Man, he really IS like Nixon.

"What did you tell the Russian president to get him back to the Peace Talks?"

"I offered him a piece---of me!"

I think President Woman President feels dirty.

Chloe is all alone, ALL alone!

Thanks Diva. I'll make it. Wish I could get over stuff as easily as the 24 gang. Waves at Siouxie who is being too quiet.

Dana has been a genius super villain this whole time. Yup

ALRIGHT!! Leave Jack alone with Dana for oh...5 mins should do it.

"I wanna talk to her."

Have my thigh-shooter ready.

rockin01, you missed my last glass of red wine.

Starbuck is about to be an ex-Starbuck.

"Dana? Do you believe that?"

"Hell no I don't. I thought the KGB, or FSB, or SVR or whatever they're calling themselves now was more professional than that. But that's what the writers came up with when they wrote this episode..."

OK, Siouxie - that cracks me up! :D

Cole already knew Dana was with Russia...MOLE MOLE!

Logan's about to die horribly, isn't he?

"Rear entrance!"

What more proof do you need? Logan switched sides.

I'm worried about Handbag.

Logan: "It's good to be back in the game. Even if it's through the rear entrance."

Say what!?

Reed Diamond??!?! *SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH* I loved him on Homicide!!!

He knows who she is?

So is Freddie or the other drone flying weasal feeding stuff to the Head Weasal?

dances, remember - don't ask, don't tell....

So Jack is going to get to put President Evil President in his place.... again.

But now he's on the other side (NTTAWWT), Diva.

Noooo! No getting between Jack and his target. Unless said getting between involves high explosives.

That can't be true, Jeff. He's not comfortable with his own equipment.

So the russian super mole spent half this season dancing with crackers from Arkansas ? Am I missing something ?

nice blue shirt, Jack.

And from court to CTU in less than 10 minutes. Wow. They have a transit system the Japanese would envy.

Rear entrance? That's suggestive.

Oh, you silly, silly man, Mr. Felon Ex-President!

we HOPE you're gonna kill her.

It's amazing that they found Jack some clothes from a stranger that just so happen to fit perfectly. Everyone is in blue shirts. Bye, bye Dana. RIP.

In 20 minutes, Jack has been in a room with a cold, dead Freckles, changed clothes, appeared in federal court and has made it to CTU.

Not that I'm paying attention to details...

Jack's staredown kills anything!

Let's see: Dana was in bed with cracker meth-heads from Arkansas, Muslim terrorists, the Russian mob and the Russian security services. And maybe former President Handbag for good measure.

Does that basically sum up this whole stupid plotline?

That door lowering behind Jack look like something from Get Smart.

So noe Dana is trying to be sympathetic. ya right,

Yes, Dana, you ARE sorry!!

Yes! Get her Jack!

ALRIGHT!!! SMACK HER GOOD!!!

Jack is taking care of this CTU LA style!

My move? SMACK

Jack's explaining to Dana how the Do Ask Do Tell policy works.

Way to tee off on her Jack.

Bite her ear off!

"As soon as I start talking, I'm dead."

And as soon as you stop talking to Jack, you're still dead, darlin'...

Whoa! Jack, stab her in the thigh!!!!

Isn't it convenient that the bad guys, when Jack starts a beatin, always give up the info and have
proof?

The Power of Bauer!(TM)

Waterboarding or Jack ? Iron Maiden or Jack ? Its not even close.

Maybe I'm just too much of a girl but, if someone smacked me around like that I would cry. Or at least bleed.

She's lying.

Badass Jack is back DAMMIT!

Jack's getting soft. What happened to, "if you don't tell me right now you will be dead in 10 seconds"?

Dana is smiling!

I guess she likes pain. It certainly gave her cheek a rosy blush.

She thinks she's geting away with it again, but I think she's going to end up dead - and Cole's the guy to do it.

You know, if you're slightly tipsy already, it's very hard to get the Type Pad Stupid Caption right the first five times. Just sayin'.

I miss Dave's observations.

Any chance this is headed for a waterboarding with Dana wearing a wet T shirt?

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