24

Here is where we stand:

Jack, devastated about Renee getting sniped out of the plot, is trying to work through his feelings of grief and loss by whacking the Russians who whacked her. But President Woman President ordered Jack to be locked down because she needs the Russians for the all-important Peace Procezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Sorry!  Anyway, as you would imagine, Jack did not respond well to being locked down. He stole a convenient helicopter and is now on his way toward the UN, thereby forcing Chloe, who is in charge of CTU, to order the Air Force to force him down. We frankly feel sorry for the Air Force.

Edgar is still dead.

Stay tuned in the comments section after the show as the Amazing Steve attempts to unravel the plot, which is no mean feat, as can be seen in this photograph of Steve holding the actual plot.

Meanwhile, here's a scientific poll:

Is it necessary to refrigerate ketchup?
	No.
	Absolutely not.
	You notice they don't refrigerate ketchup in restaurants. It sits out on the tables for DAYS.
	That way, you're not wrecking your nice hot hamburger by pouring this cold glop onto it.
	Our guess is, the concept of refrigerating ketchup was invented by lawyers.
	The same is true of mustard.
	Mayonnaise is a different story.
	Montpelier.
pollcode.com free polls

UPDATE: Also, Mr. Bauer, you must return your seat to the upright and locked po sition.

UPDATE: Wait, that was the WHOLE HELICOPTER SEQUENCE? Lame-O-Rama.

UPDATE: Ethan sure recovered quickly from a serious heart attack.

UPDATE: Physical coercion! No!

UPDATE: "Pull out now." Heheheh.

UPDATE: Who is the Vegas-looking guy? We know him from before, right?

UPDATE: "An assortment of assault rifles." Yes, that's definitely how the "pros" order assault rifles.

UPDATE: "We do this right, we take Jack by surprise." Right!

UPDATE: I hate the Peace Agreement. I miss the Lethal Atomic Rods o' Doom.

UPDATE: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

UPDATE: CTU: We're even less competent than you thought.

UPDATE: That Freddie Prinze Jr. sure can emote.

UPDATE: These men have some jowls.

UPDATE: It's a jowl-off.

UPDATE: OK,so at the beginning of this episode, Jack was trying to locate Dana Walsh, and at the end, Jack was still trying to locate Dana Walsh. In other words: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

UPDATE: Next week: Waterboarding! Dana gets loose! Take, it, The Amazing Steve.

Comments

[Cheesewiz]

Da devils in dat man!

[nursecindy]

It's only been 12 minutes? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

[KJP]

Okay, I've lost track of what they're even talking about now.

[danceswithvowels]

Make an impossible choice first thing every morning, and you won't mind eating the Wooden Dialogue the rest of the day.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Tell me she's not listening to him.

Of all the characters from all the seasons (who aren't already dead), was Logan really the best option they had to bring back?

What about Martha?

[Buckaroo]

@ LeDud

wet t-shirt water-boarding?

/runs

[homeybeef]

What ever happened to Wayne?

[Loudmouth]

Ironman or Jack Bauer. Who wins?

[trustf8]

ha ha what does steve's shirt SAY about HIM??

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Jack would be Iron Man. He's already died twice and has risen each time...

[Buckaroo]

@ loudmouth. Jack -- he'd get Chloe to screw up the suit ...
:-)

[Wes S.]

So suddenly CTU can't track people in real time?

[Jeff Meyerson]

"Sir - I need to ask you to exit the donut."

Tell me IRON MAN 2's 30 second ad wasn't better than this entire season.

"TWENTY-FIFTH AND CLEVELAND"?!?!?!

You know this is New York City, right?

[LeDud]

You betcha Buckaroo !

[homeybeef]

Does Chloe know just how "safe" CTU is?

[Kate]

Can't be tracked totally means she's getting away.

[KJP]

CTU is the safest place for her to be?! Good one, Chloe!

[danceswithvowels]

Chloe's lying! She knows that CTU is one of the least safe places in the world.

[exs120]

CTU...the most unsafe safe place in the world!

[Buckaroo]

@ homey

hopefully conscious -- 4 years in a coma would be a bit much [!!]

[Jeff Meyerson]

She's going to turn Dana Walsh over to Logan's "private security firm"?

Is this Jon Voight's old firm?

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Drew's brother? I sense a pending interception...

[Daniel Kolle]

I want it to get ugly.

[Loudmouth]

Dead Dana walkin'. Let's hope he bleeds so.

[Meanie the Blue]

Maybe Madame Prez should consult her horoscope, or Dr. Phil.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

I sense a TracPhone commercial in the near future...

[Wes S.]

"I want your men to use every method of non-coercive interrogation available to them."

Before or AFTER they waterboard Starbuck and yank out her toenails, Hillary?

[danceswithvowels]

Unsafe simul!

[Jeff Meyerson]

It's a tossup - do I listen to Ethan, my most trusted advisor or slimeball Logan, who had to RESIGN the Presidency?

OK, Logan.

[KJP]

"I don't need the chargers." Jack is LaDanian Tomlinson!

[Cheesewiz]

Chloe has embraced the power of office

[Jeff Meyerson]

snoreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[funnyman]

"No one wants this to get ugly"

You can't write funnier lines for Nixon...I mean
Logan Handbag...

he's overconfident because he's been practicing the
blue -eyed stare of doom, a mind control technique Henry taught him....

[nursecindy]

Chloe's gonna help Jack!

[Twoina]

Come in from the cold, Jack. I got your taser right here!

[LeDud]

SCARFACE!

[homeybeef]

HOW MANY PHONES DOES JACK HAVE?!

Hey, Mr. Blond!

[danceswithvowels]

The Jack Sack is full of Phonez and Win!

[Daniel Kolle]

Ummm... who is this guy?

[trustf8]

snork @ KJP!

[Jeff Meyerson]

Could this get any worse? I don't see how.

Logan makes Dana look plausible.

Michael Madsen has been packing in the calories, hasn't he?

[Wes S.]

Oh whoa: Jack just called in Harvey Keitel...?

[texxasredd]

Madame president - grab your lady parts and drop the soap. You were just told you broke 87-11 laws and you just keep diggin that hole.

[funnyman]

Wait...Jack knows guys who are techies for the Mafia?
Or where is, who is this goomba?

[Cheesewiz]

...and some fish and chips.

[Twoina]

When did Jack have time to get a aircut? Isn't it shorter than last week?

[Loudmouth]

An assortment of assault rifles?? WhoooweeeBuddy.

[homeybeef]

So is Mr. Blond the magical elf that lives in the Jacksack to provide Jack with everything he needs?

[Jeff Meyerson]

How bad does D. B. Sweeney look with that mustache?

[Wes S.]

D'oh! Wrong Resevoir Dog! Michael Madsen!

[Kate]

Assault rifles are promising.

[nursecindy]

There are too many people popping up that I don't know.

[Twoina]

That would be Haircut.

[trustf8]

Who Are These Guys????

[rockin01]

Uh oh- Jack called Mr. White- somebody's gonna lose an ear!

[Jeff Meyerson]

He calls from the lobby of freaking CTU and asks if it's OK if he kills her?

[Meanie the Blue]

Ah, bureaucracy to the rescue.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Hey! He has that iPhone prototype! He must have stole it off a guy in a bar!

[Cheesewiz]

Chloe's crossing her eyes.

[nursecindy]

Or dot all her t's while crossing her i's.

[exs120]

Why is everyone so mad-looking on this show?

[Jeff Meyerson]

Does Chloe care if they kill you, Dana?

What do you think?

Hasn't anyone noticed Milton's smell YET?

[Kate]

He knows the lobby of CTU is the one place he won't be overheard.

[Wes S.]

They're going to kill Dana? Great, now we can say goodbye to the Redneck Subplot once and for all...

[Bnatral]

Dana can't die. She didn't sleep with Jack yet?

[Twoina]

Chloe's so sneaky. She should be a spy.

[ArcticAl]

I like Jack's take out hardware store. I'll take a dozen assault rifles, a hundred pu=ounds of C4, a anti-tank launcher, 100 hand grenades...

[danceswithvowels]

Chloe's overthinking it!?

[nursecindy]

Since when does Chloe go by the book?

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Chloe is out Jacking Jack.

Ewww, that didn't sound right...

[Jeff Meyerson]

I guess a little power and position has gone to Chloe's head if she's really going against Jack.

[Cheesewiz]

The "just following orders" defense worked so well for Eichmann et al.

[Wes S.]

"An assortment of assault rifles."

I prefer the Bushmaster gift basket, myself...

[KJP]

"The target is Jack Bauer."

The next sound you hear is two dozen pairs of underwear being filled.

[Loudmouth]

Chloe. Floats like a butterfly, stings like a taser.

[unrealious]

A Sting operation?

What they're going to try to con Jack out of his life savings?

[nursecindy]

Thanks for the mind picture, Andy.

[LeDud]

You know what would be perfect ? If another, even more hicky, slimy old boyfriend showed up looking for Dana.

[homeybeef]

Chloe has a plan. She wouldn't do this to Jack. Never. She knows what happens to every head of CTU that has ever gone against jack.

[Twoina]

All of a sudden renegade Chloe is by the book Chloe? Of all people Chloe should know how stoopid it is to go against Jack. Geez.

[Anon]

It's the Bluetooth! Every head of CTU who gets one refuses to tell you that it secretly sucks away your intelligence/ability to make correct decisions/realize that Jack is ALWAYS RIGHT.

[ArcticAl]

A true test of wills and intellect - Jack versus Chloe! Or is Chloe really another mole but working for Jack as a part of a giant conspiracy to take over the world and make Jack the king?

[danceswithvowels]

Yeah, tropic, that's kinda what I was thinking. Or picked up the iPhone 4 prototype in a San Fran bathroom with the right sequence of toe-taps?

[trustf8]

*wonders how Steve: 'the-scientific-pol' is gonna make sense of THIS episode...*

[Kate]

I say Chloe is playing both sides. She's going to help Jack but is covering her tail with the pres.

[Twoina]

Is this doomed to be another blah blah blah no thigh or any other kind of shooting? Say it isn't so.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

"Did you get what I need?"

Uh oh, Jack's hooked on the dope again...

[Jeff Meyerson]

Whisper Alert!

That's why they got Madsen - he whispers as much as Jack.

[nursecindy]

Now that's what I call service! He didn't waste any time getting Jack's stuff did he?

[Wes S.]

Well...so much for the Sullivan Act.

That's a gun collection I'd like to have...

[ASLSigner]

"An assortment of assault rifles" - 6 chocolate covered, 2 cream filled, 3 with jelly and 1 with sprinkles.

[Bnatral]

Did Chloe just double cross Jack???? The horror!

[Jeff Meyerson]

The Middle Village?

Juniper Valley Road?

I don't think so.

I can't believe Chloe is trying to set Jack up.

[funnyman]

"OKay That less than 10 minutes from here..."

Does Bauer have portable wormholes or what?

Not since SLiders has traveling been so quick////!!!

[homeybeef]

Why doesn't Chloe just have CTU help Jack? I mean, can the government REALLY completely shut down CTU?

Oh yeah...

[LeDud]

Is Jack gonna ask for nukelar weapons ?

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Um...I wouldn't be one of the guys on the outside...

[Jeff Meyerson]

You think the five of you will take Jack down?

Cole, get over yourself. Jack's no hillbilly.

[Wes S.]

"Non-lethal force."

Against Jack.

What could possibly go wrong?

[danceswithvowels]

You don't take Jack by surprise.

Your guys will be in danger.