WOW

On Monday he fried up some bacon, put on rubber gloves, and went and wrapped the presents in bacon. By Tuesday, all the bacon-wrapped presents were gone.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

Comments

[Horace LaBadie]

(Homer Simpson) Hmmmm bacon.

[russellmc]

everything IS better with bacon, I guess

[Clankazoid]

A little pork fat seems to get the job done in D.C. too.

[crossgirl]

i got all excited about my two favorite words, bacon and presents, together in a story. not so much now.

[nursecindy]

Hey crossgirl! Where have you been? Keeping CJ straight is a full time job I guess.

[azred]

When I lived in town, I had this problem too. Wish I had thought of cleaning it up like that. I just stalked the culprits and convinced them to change their walk routes. It's amazing how scary 5'2" and 100 pounds can be when un-baconized presents are an issue!

[Steve]

My daughter's dog, Stewie, has a particular fondness for the "chocolate", especially those left by rabbits on my wife's farm. Amazingly enough, it doesn't seem to make his breath worse, which would be physically impossible.
Does anyone know why this dog may do this? Is there an anti-bacon that could be used to discourage it?
Other than that, he's not a bad dog. Oh, who am I kidding? He was named after the matricidal baby on Family Guy. For good reason.

[fivver]

Steve, I don't know what it is with dogs and eating uh stuff. All I can say is don't let the Stewie near a litter box.

As for this guy, he's spent money for the bacon, taken the time and effort to fry it up, gone out and handled every present on his lawn, just to, in his mind, get even with some dumb animals. Yep, that's showing who's the intelligent species.

[nursecindy]

Steve, I had a dog that did this at one time. They finally stopped. I read up on it and all I could find is they do it because they're bored or stressed. Of course my dog wasn't named Stewie.

[Dad-O-Lot]

What a waste of good bacon!

dripping the grease on them is a much better idea.

[Howard from Broward]

Telluride Daily Planet? When did Metropolis change its name?

[Annie Where-but-here]

Uh-oh. You know what the next step is after wrapping something in bacon....

....deep-frying.

[SW]

Won't work on me -- my dog keeps kosher.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Sounds like there's a sh!tzoo shi-tzu in his yard.

[Edward]

Looks like the dog sh*t has hit the fan in Telluride.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Leetie, was that you?

[Guin]

Uh, why doesn't he just put up a FENCE?

Steve - they sell food additives that work for poop-eaters. Look for "Nixit" or "Forbid" or something similar at any Petco.

[Cat R.]

*snork* at Annie's zoo!

[Steve]

Thanks for all the help. We have temporary custody of the dogs. Stewie knows I am alpha because I protected him from a dog pack. He now tries to lick my face at every opportunity.

[Siouxie]

LOL Annie!

Good morning!! Anyone for some crispy bacon???????

[Ralph]

The classic theory about "refection" is that it enables an animal to extract more nutrients the second time through the system. Wild carnivores in particular have relatively short, inefficient digestive tracts to avoid excess weight resulting in decreased speed.

This has been your shitty biology lesson of the day.

[O the U(manity)]

Fence? Does the average property owner have any idea of the cost of a fence that will restrain dogs (some of which can clear a five-foot high barrier, even when full of sh!t***) ... ?

We put up a fence for our dogs last summer ... on a DIY basis, merely the materials totalled more than $13/linear foot ... this does not include the hourly fees if one hires a professional fence "installer" (not "erector") ...

It's the people (?) who don't think the rules apply to them ownselfs that are the problem ... we had a neighbor dog who wuz released every morning @ 0-dark-hundred ... he would roam the streets and alleys over half the town, leaving gifts ... but he always seemed to want to return to base, so he could urinate on our house, and make deposits in our yard ...

Nope ... don't talk to me about dogs runnin' loose in a town with a leash law ... I've dealt with it for too long ... and let us NOT even bring up cat owners who seem to think there are no rules about their feline destroying flower beds or tearing into one's garbage receptacles placed on the curb on trash pickup day ... simply becuz they've never put a leash on their cute little kitty ...

(Actual procedures for removal of the "problem" animals -- human or other species -- avialable on request ... )

(***This information taken directly from an old USDA pamphlet titled "Notes on the Operation of Rotary Lawn Mowers" ... ISIANMTU!)

[LeDud]

As with the chiuahua's in CA, relocate some 10,000 or so burmese pythons from the everglades to Telluride and dog owners will be more mindful of their charges.

[Kristina L.]

Those of us who live in aeras with homeowners associations probably can't put up fences without incurring serious fines (and dirty looks from neighbors). On the other hand, there are supposed to be things you can spray on your lawn that might keep dogs away.

The thing with cat owners, if you have an outdoor cat, it's pretty tough to keep it from doing anything it wants to do. My kitties are indoors because it's safer for them - don't have to worry about them getting hit by a car or attacked by a dog or coyote.