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March 30, 2010

IF YOU'RE A FAN OF GREAT ACTING AND GREAT SPECIAL EFFECTS AND SCENES WHEREIN A GUY LIES ON HIS BACK AND FIGHTS GIANT MUTANT KILLER FISH WITH HIS FEET

...then you must NOT miss Mega Piranha.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

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Cool! Sounds like a good flick.

Where does one go to learn Giant Fish Jiu Jitsu?

With a mega cast like that (Tiffany! Greg Brady!) you know it's primo.

Where are Joel, Crow, Tom and Gypsy when you need them.

And, the Academy Award for Best Overacting in a D-flick goes to....

Exactly, eve.

You need to watch that preview. Possibly the single funniest thing I've ever seen.

"Are you OK?"

This to a girl bleeding out from a bloody neck wound.

I think I liked it better when it was Night of the Living Dead

Big boobs.

Now THAT'S what I call wooden dialogue! Petrified, even.

Wonderful. I've been around a lot of fish, including some close-up sharks, and my degree is in biology. I never knew until now that fish could growl.
Each and every time on screen and all sounding exactly alike.

The kicking is silly. To control this outbreak, you need a sack and a deep fryer.

I take it this isn't a 'chick flick'? Steve I'm no biologist but even I knew that fish don't growl. I seen bonmot is being a typical man, again.

Ever watch "River Monsters" on Animal Planet? That guy catches critters that make those CG piranhas look like fish sticks. He caught a snapping turtle in the Ganges by ACCIDENT that I'm still having nightmares about.

Eve, here they are!

http://www.rifftrax.com

Global warming is causing the giant, growling fish.

Somehow I'm reminded of the cartoon show that was my son's favorite when he was a child, some years back...

Giant mutant killer fishes
Giant mutant killer fishes
Giant mutant killer fishes
Horrors from B-film hell
Stem cell power!

They’re the world’s most fearsome
killing machine (got quite a nip!)
They’re horrors from B-film hell
and they’re mean! (don’t skinny dip!)

When the people shredders attack
the muscled hunk kicks bass fighting back!

Giant mutant killer fishes
Giant mutant killer fishes…

*SNORK* @ the Duckness!!! I've missed your songs!

Thanks, Siouxie. I've missed writing them, and missed you, too. I keep hoping for more blogging time.

Ducky!!!! Welcome back!

And when this movie plays, Tiffany can once again sing "I think we're alone now..." and be totally correct.

(But when did Tiffany grow cleavage? Not that I noticed...)

PB! Thanks! I really miss y'all.

And you're a guy, so of course you noticed.

I was just wondering if the action figure in the advertisement (before the flick started) knew that he could cook bacon with his gun...

Not even worth blogging about.

I had a 150 gallon tank with five Red-bellied Piranhas in it until my house burned down last week. They were paranoid fish that ran to the other side of the tank whenever I came into the room, and frantically tried to escape if I had to put a hand in the water. Piranha attack stories are usually greatly exaggerated, but maybe they have a secret superfish society.

The fire marshal thinks the fire may have started around the wiring to my lizard cage in another room. He never considered the possibility of an airborne piranha attack on the lizard, and I had never taught the lizard karate. Should I tell the insurance adjuster?

1) Very sorry to hear of Ralph's losing his house and pets - yikes!
2) SNORK!@ lizard karate
3) (yes, 3!) "Paranoid Piranhas" WBAGNF .... well, not much, really....
4) Hooray for the blog return of the world's only parody-composing duck!

Piranhas are wimps. Drop a Piranha in a tank with an Oscar and you get a tank with one well fed Oscar in it. And an easy $20 if you bet on the Oscar. Not that I ever did anything like that in college. Nope. Not me.

Piranhas Ripped My Flesh - a favorite album.

Croakers growl. Sort of.

Sorry about the house, Ralph.
A few years ago, we had to evacuate because of a hurricane. I tried to pack as much electronic equipment into the car as I could, then got stuck out of state and had to ship it back to Florida. Very expensive.
That's when I figured that insurance is God's way of protecting us from disaster.
Now, I just take frequent photo documentation of every room in my houses. It would help with insurance claims.
Here's wishing you sympathetic insurance agents.

umm.. not to be a tool or any thing, but catfish actually do growl. at least some of them do. i've encountered at least three species that audibly expressed their pissed-offness at me for catching them.

I have a problem with the premise for this show. No, it's not the bad acting. No it's not the cheesy dialog. No, it's not the fact that Tiffany has bigger bosoms than when she had her hit back in the 80's. It's the fact that SyFy keeps funding these purposely low-budget, poor visual effects shows. I sure wish they'd stop and make more stuff on the level of Tinman.

"Got a croaker in your pocket?" is a Gulf Coast euphemism for flatulence.

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