ATTENTION, WHOEVER IS BOOKING THE NEXT SUPER BOWL HALFTIME ACT:
You need to get in touch with this guy.
Key Quote: We would play covers of the bands I mentioned but when it's time for the
guitar solo, i will drop my pants. I have an urethral implant that I
can set up to emit a small flame of natural gas and will light it on
fire.
WARNING: Some naughty wordage.
(Thanks to Steve [The Other Steve] Lancaster)
oh my. that should be posted on the You Suck at Craig's list site. wow. that is the weirdest thing ive ever seen. but the spelling is ok.
Posted by: queensbee | March 17, 2010 at 04:31 PM
All righty, then... I thought I had seen just about everything when it comes to adornment of one's "area", but a propane fitting?
*idly wonders if it has a self-igniter or if you need matches*
Posted by: djtony O'b | March 17, 2010 at 04:31 PM
"...my influences are myself,..."
Well yeah, sort of if your totally self absorbed.
Maybe he has multiple personalities and one is influenced by the others?
Posted by: Cheesewiz | March 17, 2010 at 04:34 PM
Great Balls o' Fire!
Posted by: O'Layzeeboy | March 17, 2010 at 04:40 PM
I was mildly interested up to the flaming body part thingie. This would be a great April Fools Day joke to play on the other RBR's though Dave. Just tell them he's sitting in on guitar, or standing, then sit back and watch their faces.
Posted by: o'nurse o'cindy | March 17, 2010 at 04:50 PM
Didn't we all get enough of lighting farts in college?
Dave? Dave, back me up here.
Posted by: Cheesewiz | March 17, 2010 at 04:58 PM
Yeah, yeah. It burns when you pee. Take some peniscillin.
Posted by: McBonmot | March 17, 2010 at 04:58 PM
But what did he mean by "meaty"?
Posted by: McBonmot | March 17, 2010 at 05:00 PM
I see absolutely no chance of a self-neutering inferno in his plan. He should be encouraged.
Posted by: Hammond (Gimme a Guinness) O'Rye | March 17, 2010 at 05:02 PM
You gotta love a guy who calls himself Tony "The Pinwheel" Ocasio.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | March 17, 2010 at 05:05 PM
As influences, he should've included Jim Morrison ("light my fire, light my fire").
Posted by: Bill Hudgins | March 17, 2010 at 05:13 PM
A rocker put flames in his act;
audacious but lacking in tact.
With penis a-glow
he puts on quite a show,
as long as he doesn't get racked.
Posted by: McBonmot | March 17, 2010 at 05:16 PM
Sorry, Dave, the Super Bowl Halftime Committee is still recovering from Janet's nipple. A flaming penis is not in the cards. Unless it belongs to Tiger.
Posted by: Okie Down Under | March 17, 2010 at 06:17 PM
*snork* at O'Layzeeboy!
Posted by: McNotSoShyJan | March 17, 2010 at 06:35 PM
Caspy,Imeacht gan teacht ort.
Posted by: o'nurse o'cindy | March 17, 2010 at 07:23 PM
What I said to caspy was, "May you leave without returning."
Posted by: o'nurse o'cindy | March 17, 2010 at 07:36 PM
Pity his doctor when he complains of burning down there.
When he hooks up he really hooks up and it takes a left-hand-thread fitting.
Posted by: Loudmouth | March 17, 2010 at 07:37 PM
I pity any woman he winds up with. Ouch!
Posted by: o'nurse o'cindy | March 17, 2010 at 07:52 PM
"standing members". Ha.
Posted by: Steve | March 17, 2010 at 08:13 PM
Didn't he open for Canned Heat in '68?
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | March 17, 2010 at 08:14 PM
(Sorry)
Posted by: Meanie the Green | March 17, 2010 at 08:15 PM
A-hunka-hunka burnin'love. Do you smell burning rubber?
Posted by: Loudmouth | March 17, 2010 at 08:16 PM
I was bored with the cover band life mundane
And I howled at my sex life down the drain,
But it's all right now, in fact, it's a gas!
But it's all right. I'm Tony "Pinwheel",
It's a gas! Gas! Gas!
I was told I should change what's in my pants,
So my tool's got a urethral implant,
And it's all right now, in fact, it's a gas!
But it's all right, I'm Tony "Pinwheel",
It's a gas! Gas! Gas!
Posted by: Meanie the Green | March 17, 2010 at 08:42 PM
Good one meanie! Bravo.
Posted by: o'nurse o'cindy | March 17, 2010 at 08:54 PM
Bravo Meanie! *Lifting my peni.... I mean, lighter*
Posted by: AlanBoss | March 17, 2010 at 11:55 PM
Anybody suggested that "Urethral Implant" wbagnfarb yet? No? Good for us. About time we started showing some discretion around here.
Posted by: padraig | March 17, 2010 at 11:57 PM
What you want?
Baby I got it
What you need?
Baby I got it
All your askin' for, me to be
ERECT!!
Just a little bit
ERECT!!
Just a little bit
E-, E-, E-, E-
E-, E-, E- ERECT!!!
---Urethral Danglin'
Posted by: SW | March 18, 2010 at 12:09 AM
Don't cross the streams.
Posted by: Writer McDude | March 18, 2010 at 12:34 AM
Guys, I don't know about you, but in my experience you can only twirl a flaccid dick so he ain't ever going to get a standing ovation.
Posted by: Mot The Hoople | March 18, 2010 at 01:46 AM
Best sentence in the original: "I can swing it in time to most of the songs."
Posted by: Just Some Guy | March 18, 2010 at 09:23 AM
nursecindy speaks Klingon?
Posted by: Bonmot | March 18, 2010 at 10:57 AM
KLINGon?
bon, if you think Siouxie's machete hurts, wait 'til you feel the sting of my shilleileigh. But first I have to clean the stains off it from last night's Irish lesson...
Posted by: padraig | March 18, 2010 at 12:04 PM
Sorry, Padraig. Too much "Big Bang Theory".
Posted by: Bonmot | March 18, 2010 at 12:40 PM
I speak some Gaelic thanks to my mom Bonmot. Anyone have any idea what language or universe the nut here on the blog is speaking or is in?
Posted by: nursecindy | March 18, 2010 at 12:54 PM
Testing
Posted by: Mroberts | March 18, 2010 at 02:26 PM
Testing again
Posted by: Mroberts | March 18, 2010 at 02:27 PM
Yeah, the blog's hasn't been letting me post this afternoon . . .
Posted by: bonmot | March 18, 2010 at 04:23 PM
^subtract the first 's
Posted by: bonmot | March 18, 2010 at 04:24 PM
The blog's still not letting me post on anything newer than this entry.
In any event, toss this one up there on the snake in the bra story:
Good thing it wasn't a bushmaster.
Posted by: bonmot | March 18, 2010 at 04:28 PM
Original poster here. Got some responses for the ad and will be holding tryouts soon! Tony
Posted by: Tony "the pinwheel" Ocasio | March 19, 2010 at 07:53 PM