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March 22, 2010

24

Here is where we stand:

Last week CTU headquarters was blown up by a bomb hidden in a car driven by Generic Islamic Republic President Sham's daughter Kayla, who was guided straight from the terrorist hideout to the CTU entrance tunnel by the crack CTU team. That's right: The agency responsible for protecting the nation from terrorism, through its own cluelessness, managed to get itself incapacitated by a terrorist bomb.

So now, with CTU even more dysfunctional than usual, there is nobody to stop the terrorists from bringing the Lethal Atomic Rods of Doom into Manhattan except our boy Jack Bauer, who has fully recovered from being stabbed in the stomach by his girlfriend Renee three hours ago and is now, we hope, going to swing into action, by which we mean something more than shouting into the phone.

Speaking of the terrorists: Kayla's boyfriend Tarin is apparently still one of them, since he set Kayla up to be disintegrated, although she managed to get out of the car just in time, so maybe they will still have Feelings for each other.

In subplot action:

Bill Prady, the world's most diligent parole officer, is hanging around asking Dana pesky questions about her ex-boyfriend Kevin. We have no idea where this subplot is going, but it refuses to go away, so we're starting to wonder if maybe Agent Walsh is a mole, seeing as how CTU is required by law to always have one on the payroll.

Edgar is still dead.

Be sure to stay tuned in the comments section after the show for the traditional impossibly quick analysis by The Amazing Steve, who we suspect is using time travel. Meanwhile, here's a scientific poll:

Do you think Dana is a mole?
No.
Yes, but you can't see it unless she removes her... Oh, IS a mole. Yes.
If they use the mole plot twist one more time, I am going to shoot the writers in the head.
Not that this would cause them to suffer any serious damage.
Montpelier.
  
pollcode.com free polls

UPDATE: The terrorists set off a Dramatically Sparking Wires Bomb.

UPDATE: "Agent Skaggs?"

UPDATE: Phil can shut down all bridge and tunnel traffic into the city. Phil has that power.

UPDATE: Those terrorists are some BAD shots.

UPDATE: I love when they tell where the bad guys are using the o'clock system.

UPDATE: That guy is SO clearly fake that only a moron, or Hastings, would believe him.

UPDATE: Unless I am wrong.

UPDATE: This here is some really bad acting.

UPDATE: Check out Jack's tasteful bachelor apartment!

UPDATE: YES! CHLOE!

UPDATE: The lesson: Never get between a woman and her trunk line.

UPDATE: Meanwhile, Jack and the terrorists are setting a world record for Most Missed Shots.

UPDATE: It's a good thing everybody thought to bring along 67 million bullets.

UPDATE: Chloe has taken precautions.

UPDATE: Hastings does not appear surprised that a probation officer from Arkansas would appear at CTU headquarters at 5 a.m. during a terrorist attack.

UPDATE: Jack is hit! But it's only a bullet wound. He will be fine. This is the shootingest episode EVER. But it does lead one to ask how come Renee could find Jack in, what, 11 minutes, while CTU had to wait for Chloe to get into the trunk line.

UPDATE: Agent Walsh is definitely not following normal agent procedures.

UPDATE: Well knock us down with a feather. Agent Walsh IS a mole.

UPDATE: Next week: Jack is fine! And of course more shooting. Take it, The Amazing Steve.

Comments

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I'm down with that, Cassie! And good luck with the Virtually Turning On books. I've had to apply discipline and postpone the pleasure for a while.
But one of these days ...

I was intrigued by the SeaMonkeys, GLow, and the X-Ray Specs were very tempting. For some reason, I seemed to enjoy contemplating the purchase more than actually doing it, so after all the hours of thinking about it, I ended up buying cheesy magic tricks.

Ironically, I'm using the SeaMonkey browser to enjoy the blogging tonight.

Amazing Steve: another great job!

And it is even MORE~AMAZING when one considers the
level of drivel crap storyline the`writers left us.

thank you!

Gennita,
OMG, I can't believe you ended it like that. Argh.

Okay...soooo...if Dana's a mole, could it be Cole is one, too? Wouldn't "Cole Mole" be a good name for a rock band?

Excellent work as always, Steve!!!!

I'm still trying to understand the Dana strangling the parole guy bit.

Posted by: Gennita Low | March 22, 2010 at 10:23 PM

Well Gennita, it's like this: there's a little known codicil in the Faber College constitution 24 writers' contract insisting there must be a mole inside CTU every season.

This year it's her.

Seriously, though, she was there long enough to date and get engaged to Cole. So what, she's a long-term sleeper mole?

Just beyond idiotic.

Amazing Steve: decoding the inscrutable since 2006(?)

Can we get you to work on Kafka or Beckett next?

*snork* at They all cover their thighs, and decide to make a run for it

Nice job as usual, Amazing. You almost made it sound comprehensible.

But how did Renee find Jack? Smell? Super Hearing?

I never lol'd @ 24 as much as last night: Girls Gone Wild!

Cole with his night vision 'viewmaster' looked like he was filming home videos. That @ssinine 'run-behind-the-Jack-shield' was hysterical! And Dana, filmed ala Seinfeld's-girlfriend-who-looked-totally-different-in-bad-lighting? yikes.
Thanks for the laughs dave, steve & all you spontaneous crazies.

Have y'all figured out yet that '24' is mostly not done by putting humans in front of cameras, but rather by having Kiefer Sutherland and Freddy Prinze narrate as they play the '24' video game?*

The only part featuring actual humans are the touchy-feely parts between President Sam the Sham and his wife, because nobody has yet made a video game that boring.

* It should surprise no one if the producers actually do this next year.

I still don't understand why, if Dana is supposed to be a mole all this time, she keeps leaving CTU to meet with Kevin and get him off her back? Why not just phone her terrorist buddies and have them covertly take him out? Don't they need her to keep feeding them intel from inside CTU??

Because that was not really Dana anymore. Her body has been taken over by the smoke monster from Lost, who having finally left the island is now free to resume his career as a terrorist.

Steve H. she doesn't do that because that would make sense.

Awesome job, Steve!

Let's sic Aaron on Dana, shall we? Or Madame Ramparts!

Mole hides body in...vent?
Jack needs to work on his "DO NOT GO OUT THERE"
skills...

Writers get a star for finally giving Chloe a gun.

And its good to see...there is nobody on this site that missed a thing...

Except that the NSA would NEVER had gotten there so soon to help. The NSA is ACTUALLY just a giant computer run by a guy in a hot tub, waiting for a new time machine from the Office of Homeland security, but due to budget cuts, they only work three days a week now.

Okay, I have to say that last night was the best episode of the series. Jack is definitely back, Renee too and Chloe our favorite rocks! It was her show. Even Hastings seemed like a real leader. Dana will go the way we had hoped. Bet Renee shoots her. Almost sad now that TV Guide reports this will be the last season. Maybe they will change their mind.

I called walsh being a mole last week. I said then and will honor it now and not watch 24 again this season!!!

It's Friday afternoon and 24 is officially cancelled. Since its still in production will they end it properly for the fans or another lame cliffhanger just in case NBC is dumb enough to pick it u?

Cliffhanger whether NBC picks it up or not. The plan is to do a theatrical film.

Well then, what are we going to roast that will have us shooting thighs and drinking shots after Jack Bauer:Day 8? Sob*

Nursecindy wrote:

That is not going to look good on her year end job review.

I disagree! Hastings will give her a promotion, noting in her personnel file "she handles authority with quick action and decision-making!"

After all, how do you think Hastings got his job?

With zero background checks, it's not who you are, but who you "know" -or slept with at this CTU office!


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