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he misread 'first, do no harm." as "en garde!"
Posted by: insomniac | February 23, 2010 at 01:31 PM
We learned the first week in nursing school that it was not nice to stab patients. I assumed they taught that in doctor's school also. I did work with a doctor once that knocked a patient out. I didn't know if I should call the police or get down on the floor and start counting. It was a perfect TKO.
Posted by: nursecindy | February 23, 2010 at 01:38 PM
Doctor Rank is board certified in psychiatry
The unholy trinity, alcohol, drugs and psychiatry were involved.
Posted by: fivver | February 23, 2010 at 01:43 PM
My mom's gastroenterologist was targeted by a hit man hired by his former medical partner.
Wacky Docs
Posted by: Coconuts | February 23, 2010 at 01:58 PM
He was high as a kite;
used a sword in a fight,
That's samurai!
Posted by: bonmot | February 23, 2010 at 02:11 PM
There can be only one!
Posted by: Hammond Rye | February 23, 2010 at 03:34 PM
Cherchez les shrinks!
Posted by: Cheesewiz | February 23, 2010 at 03:55 PM
So he's board certified or sword certified?
Posted by: Cheesewiz | February 23, 2010 at 03:56 PM
Ninja Freud,
You should avoid.
He's not so Jung,
But he's good with a soid.
Posted by: Loudmouth | February 23, 2010 at 04:26 PM
Psychiatrist, heal thyself!
Posted by: CJrun | February 23, 2010 at 04:48 PM
WHY is this man still practicing medicine??
My profession is getting nuttier by the day...
Age 59 and 1/2 can't be soon enough..
Posted by: EB | February 23, 2010 at 05:04 PM
Doug Hamilton, Neighbor: "All I heard was a scream. But it was the type of a scream that you know something is wrong. I went up to the top of the steps and they were fighting."
What, as opposed to the type of scream that might mean sexual ecstasy?
Why do I expect to hear, "This is the city, Los Angeles, California. My name is Friday. I carry a badge."
*sticks out thumb for geezer bus*
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | February 23, 2010 at 05:28 PM
Gee, Jeff, we just keep coming back here, don't we??
Posted by: Steve Haller | February 23, 2010 at 07:14 PM
Is that a sword or are you just happy to see me? Oh it's a sword, aaaahhhhh!
Posted by: BA | February 23, 2010 at 09:17 PM
... and they wanto to limit malpractice suits. Lawsuits, anyway.
Posted by: Tash | February 23, 2010 at 10:56 PM
"He has some inner demons, apparently, that he needs to be working with and now he'll get the help that he needs."
...through our new psychosocial interventional treatment modality where we lock the door and throw away the key.
Posted by: Betsy | February 23, 2010 at 11:41 PM
HMO Rep: Hello, OpaqueCare HMO claims department, how may I help you? (Please note that this call may be monitored for our entertainment purposes)
Claimant: Hi. I submitted a----
HMO Rep: Your name, please.
Claimant: [gives name, then spells name] I submitted a---
HMO Rep: Your company, please.
Claimant: [gives company name] I submitted a---
HMO Rep: How may I help you?
Claimant: I submitted a reimbursement claim that was denied, and I don't understand the reason.
HMO Rep: Is there a claim number?
Claimant: Yes [gives number]
HMO Rep: Is there a code number in the status column?
Claimant: Yes. It's 702
HMO Rep: Is there a status entry in the code column?
Claimant: Yes. It says "Hah!"
HMO Rep: That indicates that you required a referral from your primary physician.
Claimant: My primary physician ran me through with a sword, so I went to an emergency room.
HMO Rep: Was there prior authorization for that treatment?
Claimant: Er, no. I was about to bleed to death, and needed emergency care.
HMO Rep: Did you contact our Treatment Review office?
Claimant: No, from past claims, I knew that they are only open from 1 a.m. to 1:15 a.m. on Sundays, and by the time you get through the number prompts, they are closed. So I didn't bother.
HMO Rep: Is your primary physician in our provider network?
Claimant: Yes.
HMO Rep: Did he use a network sword?
Claimant: I don't know.
HMO Rep: Hah!
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | February 24, 2010 at 08:44 AM
And then they have the temerity to send you a form that sez -- get this -- "Explanation of Benefits"!
Hahahahahahahahahaha!
Whoo-whee. *wipes tear*
Good one. *snork*
Posted by: bonmot | February 24, 2010 at 11:19 AM