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February 23, 2010


We are out of control.

(Thanks to Kevin McKinley)


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Great, stoned elderly bikers.....

"Hells' Hip Replacements"

Old duuuuuuuuuuuudes!

Yeah baby, it's great bein' a geezer...

The rock out to the RBR's too!

*wonders if the dentures fly off when they 'ride'...*

Wheezy Rider.

Geezy Rider also works.

My mother was once in a nursing home recovering from a knee replacement. I said something to the nurse about the residents being nice and sociable.
She rolled her eyes and said, "God, we can't keep them out of each others' beds."
At last! Something to look forward to in my old age.

Dave, you look damn good for 88.


Does this mean there will be an increase or decrease in geezers whining about their joints?

But serious, folks, not all geezers are nice like me and Dave. For instance, in Texas there's Bad Granny.

Woo-hoo! Another way for me to embarrass my kids!

Steve, nothing wrong with that; best thing about "Desperate Housewives" these days is bringing in Orson Bean to perk up Karen McCluskey...!

I don't think nursing homes are ready for the 60's/70's generation. None of this hokey-pokey crap. I'll want Led Zeppelin and I'll want it loud.

What does 97 yr old booty shakin' look like? Depends.

Hammie...deary, you'll have to have it loud in order to hear it.


Hook 'em, Horns, granny!

Hammie, Led Zeppelin, really?? Next thing, you're gonna be wondering what Huey Lewis has to do with The Island...

I worked at a nursing home for a short time and they had a room set up for elderly patients that wanted to get it on. It was used frequently. Just because there's snow on the roof doesn't mean there isn't fire in the furnace. It is actually a patient's right to provide a private place for this. And *SMACKS* Jeff for saying Dave is 88. I would say not to post some of his stuff for a while Dave but I don't think the blog has enough cheese for all the whine that would ensue.

Every day, "Dave" at the retirement home, would go to Gertrude's room to watch "The Price is Right", and Gertrude would hold his penis for an hour.

One day, Dave failed to show. The next day, Gertrude saw him going into Velma's room. She confronted him when he emerged an hour later.

"What's Velma got that I don't have?!" Gertrude demanded.

Dave answered sweetly: "Parkinson's."

Hell's Grannies

bad, bon...bad!! (schnork)

WHAT? You kids get offa my lawn!

*Waves @ Siouxie!!!*

I sent this in the other day, which is all anyone needs to know about Boomers.

What does 97 yr old booty shakin' look like? Depends.

Posted by: bonmot | February 23, 2010 at 11:05 AM
I've seen it bonmot and it doesn't look too good trust me.

"Depends" as in the undergarments . . .

If ya gotta 'splain 'em . . .

I got it bonmot. I would like to know one thing however. At what age do men quit thinking about how to 'get some'? I had a WWII vet offer me a Hershey Bar one night at work for sex. I told him there were not enough Hershey Bars and he was in the wrong decade. An older guy, with a catheter in, can be sitting in a wheelchair, looking innocent and then suddenly he's all hands. The older ladies are not much better. I have noticed that the ladies that don't get propositioned usually end up calling the 'lucky ones', tramps.

cindy...the answer to that is - when they're dead and buried (unfortunately, not the kind of "stiff" they wanna be).

yep siouxie - you got it. never. and then they stay stiff. it never ends.

You heard about the first man who died of a Viagra overdose?

Open casket.

Must be the fluoride they added to the water back in the 60's. Lately retirement hasn't sounded so bad.

Florida seniors

Siouxie, I think you are absolutely right. Men. Can't live with them and don't want to live without them. They're so cute when they're asleep.

So "Dave" and Gertrude made up and decided finally to officially "consumate" their relationship.

Afterwards, Dave thought to himself, "Damn, if I knew she was a virgin, I would have been gentler."

And Gertrude thought, "Damn, if I thought he could still get it up, I'd have taken off my pantyhose."

cindy, I didn't say Dave was 88. He did.


In her 88 years, Florence Siegel has learned how to relax

You just need to read between the lines sometimes.

I'm sorry Jeff. I've been on the phone all day trying to get a GOVERNMENT employee to answer the phone and then to give me a straight answer. I've spoken to 5 different people and still don't have an answer to my question. What Obama should do is give the Taliban a government phone # and tell them they have to call and get a question answered before we will fight with them. Mea culpa to any government employees on this blog. Apologies again to you Jeff. Now somebody answer the phone d@mmit because if I hear anymore light rock music I'm going to lose it.

Cindy, my wife said her Grannie finally told her husband she was through with all that when she (Grannie) was 88! Her husband was older.
Gives me hope.
And, for the record, I think one of the worst practices I have seen is separating older couples when they get to the "home". I don't know if it's done much now, but it was always a sin (unless it was done by request or court order).

cindy, don't worry, I know it wasn't serious and neither was I.

What Obama should do is give the Taliban a government phone # and tell them they have to call and get a question answered before we will fight with them.

HEAR, HEAR!! May I quote you for my Facebook status?/

Absolutely Guin. I also think that whoever invented voice mail should be locked in a cage with a padlock on the door. Then give him a phone and a list of 100 numbers and tell him one of those people has the combination and that is the only way he can get out. A few of those people on the list will actually answer the phone, put him on hold,then switch him to another department which of course will hang up on him. Is that too cruel?

Steve, they don't separate married couples anymore which sometimes is a bad idea. One reason is that one of them has usually taken care of the other one and continues to try and do so when in the nursing home. As a result they don't get any sleep and usually they end up dying first. I have separated a couple of couples (ha!) because of this. One time it was because the husband was falling a lot trying to take care of his wife. Generally they are grateful because they cannot bring themselves to tell their spouse they don't want to be in the same room with them. We still always gave them plenty of together time though. At one nursing home I worked at a couple decided they wanted to get married. I gave the bride away.

With age comes a "relaxed" attitude and some foregiveness, "He/she can't help it, she's old and doens't know her boundaries." The heck with all of them - I intend to use that when my time comes!

If it comes to that, my wife and I have separate bedrooms because ONE of us snores. We still visit.

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